Unexpected baby #2

[Pandora0814]

Just found out I'm pregnant with baby #2 unexpectedly bc of being on birth control still. My husband doesn't really want another bc he has his daughter from prev marriage then our 13 month old son. I do want another but I isn't want it this soon. I was hoping to wait another year to get finically stable again. It been a rough 2 years.

Has anyone else gone through this? I'm 26 and terrified to tell my husband after the 1st pregnancy which was hard due to him not wanting any kids anytime soon! I want to be excited but once again I feel I can't. Please don't judge me until you deal with my life. My house is small, only 2 BR and not going to be able to move anytime soon.

I've only told my BFF and she will be the only one I tell for awhile. I would like to hear that I'm not alone in this and there is someone who can relate.

 

[Jcliff]

we got a surprise this passed January. My daughter is only 12 months, and Im due end of September. They will only be 15 months apart. I will be honest, I cried for the first few days because it was such bad timing, but ive had the time to let it grow on me and now we are very excited. Our daughter and new baby will grow up very close!.

 

[Xurfingers4US]

My husband and I just found out we are expecting our second as well and he/she definitely was not planned. My daughter is only 16 months and their birthdays are going to be right on top of each other, hardly what we wanted, but we discussed it and we know we can make it work. My situation isn't wonderful either, but if my tenants can fit 5 children and 3 adults into a 3 bedroom single wide, we can make it work.

I am wishing you the best, and a happy and healthy pregnancy!

 

[LoveMy2Boys2]

Ohhh yes , I just went through this similar situation....my husband was iffy on a 3rd and def wanted to wait until next yr if we did have another, our l2nd son had 2 years of medical issues and it was extrenely difficult......well clearly God had a better plan lol I was terrified to tell him! But secretly so excited..... Hey it's takes 2 to tango, you def didn't get yourself pregnant, clearly he knows there was a chance right? By best advice is to tell him and don't hold it in, he may react against your wishes .... And it may hurt or be tough to deal with but just give him some space and time to deal with his own emotions, don't talk about it on a daily basis if he isn't bringing it up..... After a few days (or wks) the shock will wade off and everything will be fine well it should!!! If he's your husband then I'm sure he will be supportive regardless ..... And hey, you never know, he might surprise you and be excited too!! Wishing you the best of luck & congrats!!

 

[Pandora0814]

Thank you everyone. I told him today via text. Yes I know, probably not the best choice but it was a better reaction than what happened with my 1st pregnancy. Even though he came to visit me, he still tried to argue and ask stupid questions and I was quick to snap at them. I do everything for his daughter and our son. I sacrifice so I told him how it was going to be. I also told him that I refuse to be put through what he did to me during the first pregnancy.

I also had to remind him that his 2 unwed siblings never acted like he does and we are the married couple. All in all, he just asked a couple things from me. No yelling at him, more ATV’s for the kids when they get older and lots of sex. I never laughed so hard.

I know it’s going to be rough with our situations but I can make anything happen and I will be excited for this child just as my first.
Thank you everyone for your support and relating stories. Makes me feel like I am not alone.

 

[luminescent]

I have an unexpected #1, after being on BC as well. OH has been perfectly clear that we cannot afford a baby, and that he doesn't want one yet. we're so far from financially stable, we both work entry level jobs. but everyone I talk to says 'you just make it work.' and that makes him pretty angry. he keeps asking me where this imaginary money is going to come from. it's hard to not have the answers. and I didn't tell him until 7.5 weeks because I was so scared.

I want to be excited as well, it's easier when I'm on here and all the ladies are wonderful, but I think it's going to take quite a while for both of us to be comfortable with this. I'm trying to give him space, and trying to understand that while I might be okay with living on a little less, and making sacrifices, he isn't ready to do that and I'm not going to force him to be happy about this right now. he'll come around.

good luck to you. it's comforting to know that someone else is in a similar situation.

 

[PregnantKitty]

This is embarrassing, but tbh I am in the same boat with a 9 month old son and already pregnant again due to a cyst on my ovary that lead to confusion. but the sad part and embarassing part is that we were considering abortion and I felt awful every day about it, even though I set up the appt last week when I found out beacuse we weren't planning on having any more kids, are far from financially stable, and live busy lives and my husband never wanted kids in the first place (Though he loves our kids we have). I cried and cired every day all last week and was horribly depressed.

Well, he is a great father and a great man, but he gets very overwhelmed when they are very little and we fight a lot when stressed about the kids, but I just didn't feel right about abortion so I told him I felt pressurred into it and to my surprise he texted me back; "Let's keep it and be happy about it, but i want lots of sex and we have to make some serious cuts to be able to afford it."!!

I started crying tears of joy and thanked him a ton for his understanding and promised I will get my tubes tied after this one.

So I cancelled my appt for the abortion and am extremely happy I did. I dont think i couldve gone through with it in the first place, but I knew that he was so overwhelmed and we were not in a position to have more.

However, my mom was a single mom with 7 kids and though my life growing up was far from adequate I am alive and well and she made it work the best she could, so I know I can make it work with my husband by my side.

He still gets weirded out when I talk about it sometimes, but other times he has already started rubbing my tummy and seems excited about it. I think it's hard for men as they're often a lot more practical and not as emotional and don't understand what a woman goes through in pregnancy.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, but I just wanna say you're not alone and that I hope all of our OHs become more understanding and supportive as it's not like you got pregnant on your own and not one of yours "fault" but a responsability you both share, if that makes sense.

So yeah, good luck to us all. I'm sure they'll come around in time and if they don't, well, I hate to say this but if you're really not ready for another at the moment there is always adoption and there are plenty of families out there who can not or have a hard time having their own children (many of which are on here) and would love to help you out.

 

[momof5wants1]

Thank you everyone. I told him today via text. Yes I know, probably not the best choice but it was a better reaction than what happened with my 1st pregnancy. Even though he came to visit me, he still tried to argue and ask stupid questions and I was quick to snap at them. I do everything for his daughter and our son. I sacrifice so I told him how it was going to be. I also told him that I refuse to be put through what he did to me during the first pregnancy.

I also had to remind him that his 2 unwed siblings never acted like he does and we are the married couple. All in all, he just asked a couple things from me. No yelling at him, more ATV’s for the kids when they get older and lots of sex. I never laughed so hard.

I know it’s going to be rough with our situations but I can make anything happen and I will be excited for this child just as my first.
Thank you everyone for your support and relating stories. Makes me feel like I am not alone.

I am pregnant with my 7th and let me tell you, it was the surprise of the century. I'm 43 yrs old and my youngest is 10 months old. I had cut him back to once a month, at a time I thought was safe for me since I never ovulated later than cd15. Well, nature had other ideas and I ovulated later that cycle. I'm 8 weeks this coming Sat. I told him via text message and he was funny and said it was probably another girl, between us we have 8 daughters. I'm hoping for a son this time and then I'm getting cut, tied, burned and yanked out if necessary. LOL

 

[YikesBaby]

I don't know for sure yet... but I have a hunch I might just be in the same boat. We wanted one more, but not until next year. However, I have been nauseous for 3 days... yikes!!!

 

[QuintinsMommy]

baby #2 is planned but we will also be trying to fit the new arrival in our small 2 bedroom apartment untill we can afford a bigger place.