Unexplained Infertility - What a cop out!

[macca197831]

We have been TTC for 2 years, we have been through all the tests and been told that we are both healthy. OH last SA was 58 million with 45% motility, my AMH is 10.1 (im 34) and my tubes are clear. We lead healthy lifestyles, take an obsecene amount of fertility supplements and also do accupuncture.

Anyway we have been stuck in the "unexplained infertility" category! Is it just me or does anyone else think this is a cop out? In this day and age why cant someone somewhere undercover the reason us girls are not conceiving!

I find it really frustrating and difficult to accept. In the last month alone 7 of my friends/family have fallen pregnant at the drop of a hat and I keep thinking why not us, what are we doing wrong?

But for anyone who is suffering unexplained infertility, there is apparantly nothing wrong and despite doing all we can we are getting nowhere! Is anyone else feeling angry, frustrated or just completely lost by this?

We are planning on doing IVF privately in Sept but even then my heart isnt truly in it because I cant help but feeling, if there is nothing wrong then should we just keep trying!? I keep thinking maybe there is a chance we will catch a break and it will happen naturally but at the same time I feel like I cant stand another month of trying!

Sorry girls, rant over!

 

[Sizzles]

I'm with you macca! You sound a bit like me actually: just turned 34 and have been trying for nearly 2.5 years now. OH's SA came back pretty good, my tests have all come back fine, we lead pretty healthy lifestyles and always have (though both of us have a small-normal alcohol intake; I figure it's one of the very few pleasures we have and to stop it might be in vain any way!) I had acupuncture for 5 weeks a year ago, but for one reason and another I stopped, but have recently started it up again with someone else. I have my FS appointment in September when they will refer me for IVF. Like you, I kind of don't want to go down that route, but equally feel that time is not on my side.
In the time we've been trying I've seen 2 close friends begin ttc, get pg and have their babies, not to mention countless other friends/colleagues/acquaintances. It makes it very hard to be happy for other people when their road to motherhood has been so easy. I feel like ttc is making me a bad person: I don't like feeling jealous and resentful of others, but I feel like a spoilt child, thinking 'it's not fair!' all the time (and actually often say those very words to my poor husband!)
So, in short, you're not alone and I for one completely get where you're coming from.

 

[macca197831]

I'm with you macca! You sound a bit like me actually: just turned 34 and have been trying for nearly 2.5 years now. OH's SA came back pretty good, my tests have all come back fine, we lead pretty healthy lifestyles and always have (though both of us have a small-normal alcohol intake; I figure it's one of the very few pleasures we have and to stop it might be in vain any way!) I had acupuncture for 5 weeks a year ago, but for one reason and another I stopped, but have recently started it up again with someone else. I have my FS appointment in September when they will refer me for IVF. Like you, I kind of don't want to go down that route, but equally feel that time is not on my side.
In the time we've been trying I've seen 2 close friends begin ttc, get pg and have their babies, not to mention countless other friends/colleagues/acquaintances. It makes it very hard to be happy for other people when their road to motherhood has been so easy. I feel like ttc is making me a bad person: I don't like feeling jealous and resentful of others, but I feel like a spoilt child, thinking 'it's not fair!' all the time (and actually often say those very words to my poor husband!)
So, in short, you're not alone and I for one completely get where you're coming from.

Thanks for posting! We were referred for IUI in April by the NHS who told us that after 5 unsuccessful attempts we would be put on the IVF list which is another year! Thats why we are looking at going private, I would be 36/37 by then and that brings further complications!

I totally get you on the jealousy front, I hate feeling the way I do towards other people and I wish I could say I am happy for them but im not. I get really upset and my husband gets frustratated with me and thinks im trying to compete but the reality is I just feel really sad and frustrated for us. Hearing others are pregnant is a constant reminder that we cant get the one thing that we want and no one can tell us why!

Are you going private for the treatment and how are you feeling about it? I wish i could say im excited but im not, im terrified and angry that we have to go down this route! Im not sure that I would be able to cope emotionally if it didnt work and the financial stress of it is crippling too!

 

[Sizzles]

No, not private: NHS. I had my first FS appointment back in April and was surprised not to see a consultant but a 'nurse in charge of fertlity'. However, she was very nice and instigated the various investigations I've had. When I asked about 'where next' she told me my next appointment (which she hoped I wouldn't need...pah!) would discuss the results from my tests (all of which seem to be ok, I mean the ultrasound and internal poke and scan I was told were fine, all my bloods through my GP were fine and I haven't heard otherwise from the hospital tests) and if nothing had showed up I'd be referred. When I asked how long the waiting list was, I was told there wasn't one as such and it would just be a case of sorting paperwork and waiting for the right time, by which I assume that means the next cycle. So in theory that could be me in September/October going down the IVF route.
I do think though that they haven't explored enough avenues of why it's not happening. I'm currently re-reading 'Inconceivable' and although it's a few years old now, that couple were tested for incompatibility of their sperm and CM. I don't think they do that any more though.
Ah well. Who am I to tell them their job. I just feel that having IVF means I/we are a failure. Friends say this isn't true and it will make no difference by the time I'm holding a baby in my arms, but it does make me sad that it's come to this.
I'm kind of pinning a lot of hopes on the acupuncture I'm receiving, and the lady tells me (as I have also read) that it has a very positive effect when having IVF also. Have you taken any Chinese herbs as part of your treatment? My lady was saying she would probably suggest some in due course, but I've been reading that it can be detrimental when going through IVF so I'm thinking about not taking any.

 

[macca197831]

Thats great that there is no waiting list for you, at least this removes the financial stress for you.

I dont feel like IVF makes us a failure but for me it has always been the plan b that I never thought I would need. Every month I think im going to catch a break and we wont need to go down this route but it never happens. We set ourself a deadline of Sept and agreed if nothing happened by then we would go for IVF. In a way this has added to the pressure because I have been determined that we will get pregnant before this and for every month that passes I am facing the reality that we are going to have to do the IVF.

I am not taking any chinese herbs but I am taking a lot of supplements. We did the foresight hair testing which was £80 and the report which came back said that we both had a zinc and selenium defficiency along with a few other things. I took the report to my accupuncture lady and she sourced all the vitamins etc we needed at a fraction of the cost.

At the moment I take pregnacare, zinc, selenium, fish oil and Macca. I have never heard of inconceivable but I think I will check the net and order myself a copy! I often think that maybe we are not getting pregnant because my eggs just dont like hubbies swimmers - maybe they just arent compatible! But then I think IVF wont fix that!

 

[Sizzles]

With the incompatability thing, I think IVF gets around the issue as I think they 'wash' the sperm/egg so the CM isn't present that would usually fight against the sperm. Basically they bypass the issue. Not exactly the way I had imagined my children to be made; in a testtube!
'Inconceivable' is the book that was made into the film Maybe Baby, if that's any help.

 

[loubun17]

I am also unexplained... also beyond frustrated! You don't want anything to be wrong.. .but when they cannot tell you why you cannot get preg it's so frustrating! I am 33... TTC for 2 years (1 NTNP). All my bloodwork, HSG, Ultrasounds show everything is great. My hubbs SA is off the charts! The RE said they rarely see #'s like him.. and off the charts in every category. We just had our third IUI. I have been on clomid and producing big healthy follices for each IUI anywhere from 3 or 2. every cycle is "perfect" according to the RE... ummm... so what's the issue???

NOthing to fix but something is certainly broken, right?

GL Ladies! and

Are all of you going straight to IVF or have you done IUI's? we are supposed to do 4 before we move on to IVF - praying IUI works, we have to pay out of pocket. Another HUGE BUMMER! You are right it isn't fair.. not only do we have a hard time getting preggers, but we have to go broke doing it!

End Rant....

 

[macca197831]

hey loubun17!

I havent tried IUI, we are on the waiting list with the NHS for this - have been waiting for 5 months and have about another 5 months to go before we would be at the top of the list.

We have decided to go straight to IVF as the success rates are higher. However we have our first consultation with a private clinic next week and they may suggest IUI. I think despite the cost we will go with IVF but it is a huge financial strain on us!

I find the whole thing really frustrating!!!

 

[Ducktales]

hi i don't know if this helps, but a colleague of mine was unexplained and they paid privately to a hospital in Hertfordshire (Little Missenden) to have tests on incompatibilities in CM and Sperm and it turned out that the only thing stopping them conceiving was this. They were then given pessaries during O time and some other drugs and then conceived - it cost them £300 about 2 years ago. Crazy how the NHS dont test for something so simple.
Sorry if this is not of interest, but maybe worth a thought ?
Good luck to everyone
xxxx

 

[Chatnoir]

Hi ladies,
We've just been diagnosed as Unexplained also! But think we kind of new that was coming. I have been given 4 months worth of clomid to try to see if that works for us.
If it doesn't then we have to wait until we have been trying for 3 years before getting on the waiting list for IVF. Out NHS trust doesn't do IUI's either.
I also think "unexplained" is a cop-out! My dad is a bit of a hippy and he is always going on about chemicals in the water and the atmosphere is causing the increase in infertility...did think he was a bit barmy but maybe not, there has to be a reason why seemingly healthy people just cannot conceive.

Baby dust to you all x

 

[UIBlogger]

I totally agree with you. I am in the exact same place as you (2 yrs TTC & unexplained). The fertility clinic puts you on the path to IVF so quickly and it does not have to be that way especially with our diagnosis (pr quasi diagnosis as I like to call it).
You need to be your own advocate and find a doctor who is willing to walk down the road of doing more tests than the fertility clinic is willing to do to find out the source of your problem. There is an underlying problem and often if you can find it it can be treated! It can take a bit to find a doc versed in this but it is possible.
I blog on my journey through unexplained infertility (called Unexplained Infertility Talk - it will come up on google) and actually have a blog where I talk about it feeling like that quasi-diagnosis. I am just starting out but maybe something there can help you out too.
Blessings!
Robin

 

[babykitty]

I was unexplained. I had lots of tests etc done and was told there was nothing wrong with me or OH. I was eventually referred to a specialist hospital for NHS funded IVF. Once the hospital did further tests and started me on the first course of drugs they discovered I had a polyp and a hormone imbalance. The consultant told me I would have been very unlikely to ever get pregnant naturally. Once the polyp was removed and different drugs started things went really well and I have now got my daughter. I feel very fortunate to have had successful IVF but those years were really hard and I cant help thinking it need not have taken so long if I had been referred sooner as there was actually something wrong. Hope it goes well for you and you get your BFP soon. xx