Unmarried teacher....pregnant?!

[LouOscar01]

So...

I am a teacher...intending to get pregnant whilst engaged, but unmarried. Simply cannot afford to get married at the moment, and cannot keep waiting for baby.

However, I work in a Christian school....and can't help but feel that I am failing to 'uphold the Christian ethos of the school'. I don't think I can be sacked because of it....but am worried about reactions from parents and co workers.

Any opinions?

My partner thinks I'm being ridiculous!

 

[MrsMandy]

I can completely understand your worry but...they cant sack you for it and its not as if your sleeping around and dont know who the father is (will be) !! Hold your head up high, get on with planning the life you want for you and your family and (if you get any nasty comments or looks) proudly show off your engagement ring and enjoy your pregnancy - you can always vent on here if you need to!! Good luck with it all xxx

 

[spicyorange]

Check your contact because it could be classed as bringing the school into disrepute, it just depends on how hard line they are I guess. Could you have a registry office wedding now and a party later? It's your choice but it depends on how you would feel if the school made it uncomfortable for you.

 

[Pearls18]

A few of my teachers got pregnant out of wedlock it was no biggie that I was aware of. I think I would feel uncomfortable being pregnant out of wedlock in a religious school though, but that said I wouldn't aim to be pregnant before marriage (although we were lol). If marriage is important to you I personally wouldn't wait for a big day, but that's just my personal belief, you obviously shouldn't marry from pressure of your job either if that's what you and your partner are happy with it's your decision, I wouldn't stop my kids bring taught by you

 

[Dark_Star]

I also chose to get pregnant while engaged -and recently succeeded.
At 35 I didn't want to wait another year and a half to begin trying. I wasn't sure how long it would take to fall pregnant at my age either, it could have taken a year or more.

You will be fine. Good Luck

 

[LouOscar01]

Congratulations Dark Star!!

 

[spicyorange]

Sorry I should add I think you should totally but be judged for your decision..but I guess not everyone would agree

 

[cookette]

I think where you work, you should definitely look into if you could be fired for that. With it being a religious institution, I think they can make it their business. My SD attends a private christian academy and they hold their teachers to Christian standards; its why we send her there. Be well informed, good luck in whatever you choose

 

[Symphony7]

Yeah I think they may be able to fire you. I went to catholic school and they fired one of my teachers for being pregnant out of wedlock. Just check the laws I. Your area and your contract. If it is a problem, maybe you two could just get married in the court for now and have a ceremony later? I, personally don't believe you need to be married to have children but it's a fine line to walk when you work for a religious institution.

 

[HKateH]

Is it a state school? If it is I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be able to sack you... Do you wear an engagement ring? If you're worried about judgement then an engagement ring at least shows your committed if not married yet.

 

[Pearls18]

I'm pretty sure the Equailty Act will prevent them from being able to fire you no matter what type of school. You can't fire someone for being pregnant in the UK, it's sexism.

 

[LouOscar01]

I think it is different in the UK compared to the USA. I have searched online and can only find accounts of anything happening in America. It is a state school. I am with a union in case there are any issues!

Yes I will be wearing my engagement ring.

 

[cookette]

I'm pretty sure the Equailty Act will prevent them from being able to fire you no matter what type of school. You can't fire someone for being pregnant in the UK, it's sexism.

Not in a private institution in the US if its clearly outlined prior to hire. Ive heard of this being overturned though, but also of it being enforced.


Edited: Ooops, sorry! Just saw you are UK!

 

[Reidfidleir]

Do you live your own life by Christian standards? Not sure about the law there. But if you also claim to be Christian then t would be important to you to be married first.

 

[LouOscar01]

There is no requirement to be Christian only a requirement to follow the Christian ethos of the school.

They are aware that I hold no religious beliefs.

 

[Reidfidleir]

Is there a specific outline of what they mean by "Christian ethos"? Or is it "just be a nice person" type thing?

 

[LouOscar01]

I can't seem to find anything that qualifies what that statement actually means....didn't really want to ask anyone at school. It would make things awkward!

 

[callmedan]

I work as a t/a in a school which doesn't have a religion but is mostly Muslim children, last year 2 unmarried teachers were pregnant and they were a bit worried about how the Muslim parents would react due to them having such strong beliefs but they were nothing but understanding and supportive! I think nowadays people are very understanding of how people live
Although having said that, I am about 7/8 years younger than them and am a bit worried about how I will be treated due to my age and also not married although I do hope to be engaged before I tell them!

 

[Symphony7]

I'm pretty sure the Equailty Act will prevent them from being able to fire you no matter what type of school. You can't fire someone for being pregnant in the UK, it's sexism.

Ah, gotcha. Didn't know the laws over there. I mean, technically it's illegal over here too...but religious institutions have a lot of legal loopholes. If it was in the hiring contract they may have a right to fire for getting pregnant out of wedlock, but under the equal opportunity employment act you can't discriminate against a woman for being pregnant. It's a weird line to walk.

 

[LouOscar01]

I work as a t/a in a school which doesn't have a religion but is mostly Muslim children, last year 2 unmarried teachers were pregnant and they were a bit worried about how the Muslim parents would react due to them having such strong beliefs but they were nothing but understanding and supportive! I think nowadays people are very understanding of how people live
Although having said that, I am about 7/8 years younger than them and am a bit worried about how I will be treated due to my age and also not married although I do hope to be engaged before I tell them!

Yeah, I worry about the age thing too! I'm 24...and currently an NQT.