Unreasonable?

[notready123]

My FIL wants tos can my 7 weeks scan pics to his PC. Why? God only knows. I've said to DH no they're private and for us.

I just don't know why he wants to scan them. It's weird. They're mine as it's in my body and got my medical info on them.

It is really really winding me up. Why?! Is it unreasonable??

 

[TwilightAgain]

I don't think it's weird maybe he wants to upload them to Facebook if you don't mind, or maybe he plans on doing something special with them for you. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and let him enjoy his fun

 

[notready123]

If he put them on fb I would actually kill him.... He's not having them.

 

[tddunn]

I don't think it is very unreasonable. But that is just me. We sent pictures to my mother as we had scans, and she is able to feel involved in the pregnancy. Maybe he is wanting to make a scrapbook, or a video slideshow for the baby shower. If you don't feel comfortable with it then don't give them to him, but I doubt any foul play would come from it if you asked him not share.

 

[notready123]

No I don't think foul play at all. In reflection I think I'm being hOrmonal and over protective of them as never had them before. But he's still not having them

 

[wookie130]

I'm kind of with you on this one. I think it's a bit strange. Don't give them to him, if you don't want to...I can't help but acknowledge the wierdness of it myself. Those pics are for you and your OH, and of course you can share them with whomever you please...MOMENTARILY, as in showing friends and family the pics. No one needs to POSSESS them, except for you guys.

 

[MichelleW]

I definitely don't think its weird at all, my mother and father in law were so interested as it was their first grandchild and loved getting copies of the scan pictures, but at the end of the day its what you feel comfortable with and not others and they will have to respect your wishes.

 

[cookette]

Personally, I think your over reacting. But if you're not comfortable, then dont Like you said, they're yours!

 

[Paperhearts]

I don't find his request strange one bit. I feel a little sorry for him. My mom and DH's parents love pics and scans. It's their grandchild and they don't see them as "medical" or someone's insides. They see their grandbaby, like we see our child. But it's your picture so it's your decision!

 

[mrsdean2009]

Be careful as scanning photos can cause them to be ruined. They warn against using any type of heat source such as photo copier and scanner on them. A few years back a colleague bout his wife's scan into work and copied them and they went all funny.

If you decided to give them to him then perhaps let him take a photo with a good digital camera? X

 

[Scout]

I'd want to know why he wants it on his computer first. If it's bc he keeps all his pics on there then I'd be okay with it, I think. If it's bc he wants to share it, then nope. Those pics are personal and completely up to you who sees them. Honestly, I kind of think it's weird that he'd want it. When i showed anyone (meaning my parents and sister and one of my aunts) my scans, they couldn't tell anything from them unless I pointed it out. I can't really imagine why anyone except the parents would want a hard copy of a scan. Oh, and too it would also depend on the trust I had in that person. Like you, I'd kill anybody who posted a scan on a social media website!

 

[Torsornin]

I dont think it is weird. Personally I keep sending my inlaws and my dad pics of the scan (using my phone) I also sent them a quick video of the baby twitching.

if you dont want your info on the photo you can crop it out or pixilate it so it cant be read. Then no one will be able to tell who's baby it is.

As far as I see it, you can't see anything but fuzzy blur, a black bubble then a baby shape. Nothing inappropriate. (I mean my FIL can NOT be in the birth room with me THAT is weird I would never be able to look him in the eye again (he had hinted))

When my hubby and I were born, ultrasounds looked like ONLY black and white blurs. I cant make heads or tails of the old ones. I think your FIL might just be really amazed that you CAN see his little mouth and nose and hand. And might really be excited and this is a way for him to develop a connection with his yet unborn grandchild.

In the end they are your pictures. But I dont think he is trying to be creepy.

 

[linz143]

It wouldn't bother me one bit, in fact I would be flattered that a grandparent cared enough to want a copy of baby's first picture. But that's all I see it as, a picture of baby, not a photograph of my vagina with a baby in it.

Of course it's up to you on how and with whom you want to share, but I don't see the difference between sending your mother a copy while not allowing FIL to have a copy except that he's not YOUR parent so you're treating him differently. It's still his grandchild either way, though.

 

[Roxie]

have you considered just asking him what he wants the picture for?
men arent normally that bothered about pictures like that , so its properly so he can do something nice with it for you

 

[Kalia101]

I don't think it's strange at all he probably just wants to feel involved and wants a copy of the scan photo to scan it onto pc and get a copy printed of.. All the grandparents will be getting copys of our scans he may even be planning on doing something nice like other posts have mentioned a slide show or a scrap book but I don't think it's weird at all its his grandchild.

 

[LoveMyBaby786]

I would ask why he wants the pics. If like pp has said he wants to make a scrapbook/slideshow/gift thing etc.. then id let him. If he wamted to put on the net id say no but I dont think its weird him asking you should just ask him why he wants them

 

[notready123]

If I wanted a scap book the I will make one, and if someone wants a scrap boom of my child, they need my permission... It's ok now anyway, he hadn't mentioned it again..

 

[deafgal]

I don't think it is weird for him to ask for his grandchild "first" photo but if you feel it is too private, just let him know. And tell him when your child is born, you will make sure he gets a copy of his first picture (I never send naked or bath photos to my extended family though)

 

[squirrel.]

I can understand being over protective, this is your child (is it your first?) and when we're pregnant hormones can make us have more extreme emotions. I do however, find the request a lovely one and your refusal of it slightly unreasonable (in my opinion, I hope that doesn't offend you!!). I see it as a future grandfather wanting to have pictures of his future grandchild and I don't find it weird in the slightest.

I think it's important to include grandparents as much as we can, especially the parents of the baby's father as they so often get overlooked in favour of the baby's mother's parents (and they are all equally the child's grandparents, or at least, they should be). We always sent my husband's parents pictures of our scans and the only reason they wanted them was for the same reason that I liked to look at them: to see my future child and feel a happy glow at knowing they were growing well.

Also, when you say anyone making a scrapbook of your child would need to ask your permission; I can understand if it's just an acquaintance or a relative you don't know very well, but surely the child's grandfather wouldn't need to ask permission to make a scrapbook of their own grandchild? Maybe it's just me, even though they're not my parents, I love my MIL and FIL a lot and know that my son (and my new baby) is a part of them, so belongs to them in a way. I wouldn't mind them making photo albums, scrapbooks or even shrines to him without my permission. He's theirs and a part of their family.

I hope this doesn't become an issue for you and that if he wants something like that again he explains why. We don't need extra stress in pregnancy!

x

 

[_jellybean_]

I don't think he's being unreasonable...it's his grandchild, but since you're uncomfortable with it, could you just make a copy of your scan picture, and give that to him? I mean...maybe he's proud/excited/happy.