Unsure if I can go through this again

[Confused75]

Hi,
I'm new to this forum so am really unsure what to write. I am 39 and my husband and I suffered two miscarriages last year. The first one was a 'natural miscarriage' at 7 weeks and although shattering I was assured by my dr that it is common blah blah blah. The second one was a little more cruel and although they thought it was a blighted ovum the dr's couldn't confirm it till nearly 11 weeks resulting in a d&c. I have been told that should we want to keep trying I have to do so now as I am getting old. Problem is I'm scared. Although I want to try again very much I am so frightened that this will happen again and don't think I can emotionally go through it all over. Does this make sense? Or am I going crazy cause I sure do feel like it! I guess I am looking for others that might have had a similar experience to me. Thanks for reading

 

[sunshine2014]

Sorry you've gone through this. I have also suffered 2 losses with no successful pregnancies. As tough as it is I refuse to give up hope that I will eventually be successful. Life is full of hardships and I refuse to give in to them. So as hard as it is, and even though there is a risk of it happening again, I'm going to keep trying. You will figure out if you're up for it or not. There is no wrong answer.

 

[Confused75]

Sorry you've gone through this. I have also suffered 2 losses with no successful pregnancies. As tough as it is I refuse to give up hope that I will eventually be successful. Life is full of hardships and I refuse to give in to them. So as hard as it is, and even though there is a risk of it happening again, I'm going to keep trying. You will figure out if you're up for it or not. There is no wrong answer.

Thanks for this. I too am sorry to hear what you've experienced. It sure wasn't on my to do list for 2014 I think we will try again. You never know. Maybe next one will be the one and I am going to start looking at it this way instead of the other. Thanks for sharing and I hope everything goes well for you

 

[Fleur828815]

So sorry about both your losses, 1 was hard enough to deal with. I'm also terrified of going through this again after a MMC and a D&C at 9.5 weeks but on the other hand I want a baby so bad that I have to keep trying. I suppose that need outweighs my fear AT THE MOMENT, but I'm sure if I fall pregnant again I'll stress from day 1.

Good luck to both of you, I hope your next pregnancies will be successful.

 

[wantingagirl]

I have had 3 miscarriages one in 2010 natrual one in 2014 just after bfp am one January this year resulting in a d&c Tuesday just passed. I refuse to give up hope until I hold my last baby no matter what happen. So sorry for your losses Hun. I have and so many friends that had losses In a row and now they have their rainbow and couldn't imagine life without them. All we have is hope and I'm determined it's worth the fight

 

[melfy77]

So sorry for your losses

I had two miscarriages (both early and natural) before having my first daughter. And I was 26, so no one is safe from miscarriages. I know it hurts but don't let this stop you

 

[nessaw]

Hi am so sorry for your losses. I have had 3 mcs (one was twins) and have no living children. I'm not far off 39. I am feeling exactly the same. With the last pg the desire for a child outweighed the fear of another loss. I guess I thought we couldn't be that unlucky. Now the fear over rides everything. We are 4 months on from the last mc and still haven't decided whether we can go through it. My husband thinks yes but I just don't know. It was so stressful last time even tho we knew it was just 1 and we'd seen a heartbeat but we still lost it. Currently we are ntnp so I guess it could happen however it's been 4 years and I don't get pg ntnp only when doing cbfm every day of peak and using preseed. Anyway long story short I hear you and I wish I had a better answer for you. Hugs x

 

[sunshine2014]

Oh melfy that gives me so much hope. Did you do testing after your losses? Or do you have any idea what may have caused them? So happy you have two adorable babies now.

Neesaw I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish you luck in whatever decision you decide.

 

[Sis4Us]

I have had 4 losses 3 in 2014 and I'm turning 39 in exactly a month!! I'm afraid yes but I'm even more determined to have that Rainbow I deserve that I want so I push on!!

Have u and DH been tested I know from experience Knowledge is power I know he has low sperm which is corrected by vitamins I know my eggs are probably a Lil old but I take vitamins for that also!
It makes it a Lil easier when u have the power to change the outcome is all I'm saying

Best of luck to u in whatever u decide!

 

[Confused75]

Melfy,
Thanks for this. Proof it can be done!!!

 

[Confused75]

Hi am so sorry for your losses. I have had 3 mcs (one was twins) and have no living children. I'm not far off 39. I am feeling exactly the same. With the last pg the desire for a child outweighed the fear of another loss. I guess I thought we couldn't be that unlucky. Now the fear over rides everything. We are 4 months on from the last mc and still haven't decided whether we can go through it. My husband thinks yes but I just don't know. It was so stressful last time even tho we knew it was just 1 and we'd seen a heartbeat but we still lost it. Currently we are ntnp so I guess it could happen however it's been 4 years and I don't get pg ntnp only when doing cbfm every day of peak and using preseed. Anyway long story short I hear you and I wish I had a better answer for you. Hugs x

Sounds like you are in a very similar boat. Funny thing is I never really wanted kids and have spent most of my life fearing falling pregnant until I met my now husband and somehow it felt right. Damn biological clock!!!

 

[Confused75]

We will be talking to obstetrician next month about options. I'm more worried about my age and aware that time is running out. My husband had a child from a previous relationship so I doubt it's him. Hope everything works out well for you and thanks so much for your advise. I didn't realise vitamins could help. I'm a bit new to this ttc thing. I think I've mentioned previous live spent my whole life doing the opposite...

 

[melfy77]

Sunshine: I got all the tests (except for NK cells) and the only thing that came back was a Protein C deficiency, which explains why I don't bleed a lot when I cut myself (stupid shavers) But I was on low dose aspirin for all my pregnancies so I know it didn't cause my 2 losses. They also put gave me progesterone when I got pregnant with my daughter (and did the same when I got preggo with DD2). I think it was just genetical bad luck, but progesterone is a can't hurt might help thing

And I know at least two friends who had 2 miscarriages in a row before having their first kid, and they were not on progesterone or anything else when they carried their rainbow baby

Yes it can be done!!!

 

[sunshine2014]

Oh melfy thanks for the info! That's great I'll have Dh look into it for me.

Also thanks for the encouragement regarding your friends. I really do wonder sometimes if I wll get my rainbow so that gives me hope. Did your friends get any tests done or did they just try again?

 

[nessaw]

Our tests showed nothing wrong. The rmc consultant prescribed aspirin and progesterone for if and when we get another bfp.

 

[melfy77]

Oh melfy thanks for the info! That's great I'll have Dh look into it for me.

Also thanks for the encouragement regarding your friends. I really do wonder sometimes if I wll get my rainbow so that gives me hope. Did your friends get any tests done or did they just try again?

Glad I could help

My friends didn't get any testing done, and all went well

 

[Freya13]

Hiya new to this sorry to hear about your losses I have suffered 2 miscarriage one was natural miscarriage and the other missed misscariage so devastated so sad I pretend that it doesn't hurt I'm so much in pain.i have done test going to get result .

 

[Confused75]

Hiya new to this sorry to hear about your losses I have suffered 2 miscarriage one was natural miscarriage and the other missed misscariage so devastated so sad I pretend that it doesn't hurt I'm so much in pain.i have done test going to get result .

Hi Freya,
What can I say. It just totally sucks!! It's a weird thing there's a big part of me that is determined to try again but equally scared shitless that it might happen again. It's like there are two people in my brain. Crazy right?? Always considered myself pretty resilient but something about miscarriages have a way of totally flooring you. The only thing that is keeping me relatively sane is the fact I know I have heaps of wonderful support. Please don't pretend to be ok if you're not. If you're not ok then let someone know. You are far from alone and it's ok to say how you feel about it. Like I said it sucks and hurts. Feel free to msg me. Hope your tests come back with some answers.

 

[Natnee]

Hi! I am 38, will be 39 in March. I have a daughter who will be 5 in May. We are sort of trying again but I am SOOO terrified of doing this again. Last year had 2 losses at both ends of the spectrum. If I get pregnant again it's going to be a hell of a worrying long 9 months if I do fall pregnant again. So scared to be hurt again.

 

[mummy3ds]

Hi there
I am stepping in for advise tbh
I'm so sorry to hear about your losses xx
I am 37 almost 38 I have 4 h&h boys no 4 being with my hubby, we had a mmc in sept with d&c 1st oct and then last tues found out mmc again, I have just gotten out of hospital as I miscarried naturally and haemorrhaged so I'm now against ttc again but my dh wants to I'm terrified as I almost died and want to know why it happened and if it could happen again