*update added* now i know what i did wrong re: my 16 yo pregnant sister

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by MummyMummy, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i've made two posts in the past about it, well today just had a phone call from my grandad who had been told by my nan (maybe... just maybe she does like me after all!!:lol: considering she didn't want me to be excluded/feel upset about everybody else knowing) to give me a call to 'let me know, because it isn't on'.

    well... what do you girlies make of this?
    last night aunty and uncle went down - this is the gossip aunty that i said originally had told my nan. they got talking about sister and her kid and said she was 26weeks preg (!!!!!) and apparently baby due in august (ours due 6th june!) and my grandad (him being a bloke as you can imagine doesn't get into the ins and outs and tbh doesn't take an interest/bother with my mum/her kids due to the way she was with me when i was younger etc etc) and he said 'i'm sure our *my name* already knows' and uncles g/f said 'well not really you see they've not told her because she texted, not phoned'

    WTF?! as i mentioned in my last post i had texted saying 'is *name* knocked up?' (knocked up is what i used to say to my mum/sister about me being preg and they'd tell me i was disgusting for calling it that :lol:) and then tried phoning but phone was off. what's the big secret? what's the need to phone? if they wanted to tell me themselves then surly they would have done it before telling everybody else? or tell me when i went down on easter?(yes, as in a week or so ago) not the sentimental type as you can prob tell :lol:

    the other day i was really upset but you know what? i actually feel not too bad about not knowing (obviously i'm still hurting but whatever)... but more fool them two tbh, considering i'm just about to have a baby and all my baby stuff will be well looked after (and neutral might i add as we are having a surprise!) there would have been an awful lot of vests/baby gros to give, same with me having our car during the day it would make for alot of trips out, my mum lives in a 3bed house which has 2 double bedrooms and 1 box room (thousands... as in over 50thousand! worth of debt) with her and her husband and 3boys and 3girls... were as we have not alot of extra money but some so we could have helped her and her baby out, same with had them stay over with us if they wanted when we move to give them so peace and quiet and fresh air (mum smokes constantly as does my oldest younger brother), the house is a mess too... holes in walls that she and oldest younger brother have kicked/punched/threw things at, dirty, messy etc etc... but obviously as i'm not an important person to tell i wont need to do any of the above :D which works for me. if only they would have thought their sly plan out before hand.

    i said in original post i don't know if i could support her, as i've said i'd never tell her and i'd do what i could reguardless because that's what family does right? they made it clear though that i'm not a part of that family, so no support needed from me :D

    i feel so sorry for that baby and really ashamed tbh. my sister often stays out for days/weeks (even before she turned 16!) at a time... not even a phone call, kicked out of school, no plans to get a job/go back to education, hangs around street corners, friends she used to have told me she was a 'slag' and gets around :|, has a criminal record actually it wasn't too long ago that she got in trouble with the police when they found her dna on a can of beer that was next to a broken into shed (nothing happened re: that though as there was no deffinite proof she broke into shed)... what kind of mother will she make? considering she's 26weeks preg at easter she was chasing our younger brother who's around 13 maybe around the house and upstairs shouting 'get here you little fucking shit! i'm going to fucking hit you, get here now!' way to go mummy!!! and that was infront of our youngest sister who just turned 2!!! :| my lord.

    my grandad said, as many of you girlies did to not worry about them as that 'wont ever happen with my 2' :D

    wow :| all i can think is 'good luck' :\

    xXx

    update added: apparently she's having a boy! we both had boys for our 1st babys, this should deffinitly be a bonding/sharing time.
     
  2. DolceBella

    DolceBella Mum of 2 Gingers!!

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    Wow! Sounds like your LO will be lucky that you're it's mummy and not her!
     
  3. Tasha

    Tasha 4kids+2angels+16mc
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    I am glad your Granddad rang you and your Nan told him too, I am sure that means a lot to you, take care hun, and I am glad your not letting it upset/stress you out as much x
     
  4. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i am very surprised my nan thought of me i was convinced she didn't like me :lol: :D it actually made me feel really warm and fluffy inside that she'd thought of me and my feelings!

    it's horrible to say what kind of life will that baby have isn't it? :\ considering she's my sister and i'm about to be an aunty for the 1st time but gosh it isn't goingto be easy. me and mr.man were talking before about wheather she'll change and he doesn't think she will and my mum isn't gonna win any mum/nan of the year awards i hope she doesn't take that baby all around everywhere at daft oclock :| none of my buisness of course but it doesn't make for a good reputation when your sister is getting up to all sorts :\

    xXx
     
  5. dizzy duck

    dizzy duck Mummy to Oliver

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    Aww hun, what a nightmare, your Lo is so lucky to have you and Im so pleased you are not letting it get you stressed. Take care :hugs:XX
     
  6. Kimboowee

    Kimboowee Complete

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    If i was your sister i would be wanting all the advice and help i could get from my older sister! Not to mention how much you could help her out with clothes and stuff!
     
  7. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i'd be more than willing to help her out, if anybody had the decency/manners to let me know? kwim? but if they don't want me involved/to let me know then as not so nice as i think they are being, that's their right isn't it? i'm not going to force myself on them kwim? i'm justgonna leave them to it. same with going to the hospital to drop things off for her or drive my mum back and forth when she has baby, as mums car is v.unreliable and they don't have much money to run it, plus her husband uses it for work and he doesn't like my mums kids that aren't his, so no doubt there'd be a moan about it.

    a bit gutted that i'm gonna be the oldest aunty and don't know anything about baby though :(

    even if i don't agree with her/her choices and do feel a bit ashamed it'd be nice to know my neice/nephew and for them to know me and my babys.

    somethings just aren't meant to be though.

    xXx
     
  8. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest

    I can understand how u feel...but i reckon you're being a bit harsh!

    Who knows she may really suprise you with how she changes.
    I wasn't an amazingly behaved teen before but have seriously grown up.
    Iused to hang around on the town alot,underage drink and stuff..alot of teens do these days and just because of hear say it doesn't mean she's actually been sleeping around,or is a slag.

    Lots of teenagers make up things to make somebody feel bad about themselfs.
    You never know she may completely change with the responsibility of a child.
    Maybe she may not change her ways with hanging around but she may be absolutely amazing with the baby.

    x
     
  9. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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    This baby may turn her life around ...I was 14 when i had jake b4 getting pregnant i have dabbled in drink and drugs and truely believe it i hadnt had jake and grown up i would be dead in the gutter by now
     
  10. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest

    my point exactly...alot of people change.!!!
     
  11. faille

    faille Mummy & WTT

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    I cant pretend to know what you're going thro hun but from what you've said I can understand why you'd feel the way you do.

    I think maybe just take it as it comes.. if does change and wants you to be part of her life then great, you get to be an aunty and a big sis. But if she doesn't then it's her loss as it sounds like you're the one who's done well for herself.

    I wouldn't totally rule her out of my life tbh, she may end up needing you and this whole thing might actually bring you closer xx
     
  12. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    hopfully! :D that'd be a great outcome for her and so wonderful for her little one too! here's hoping she wont tell her own child to 'shut the fuck up' i really hope to god that she changes, because right now she's just sounding like another teenage council estate statistic :( i hope too that she learns how to look after a baby because some ofthe things she done to our 2 year old sister and 5year old sister are a bit worrying. eg. straightening their hair :| swinging them around, calling them swearwords are not ok :(

    xXx
     
  13. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    that'd be really nice (not that she was struggling but that she thought i was worthy enough of asking for help) if she did that, if she came and said she was struggling because i deffinitly wouldn't turn her away, she'd have asked me to be involved and been brave enough to ask for help! i'd do whatever i could if there was a problem to help out and fix it, but not without being invited in 1st kwim?

    maybe they are all coping better than i'm giving them credit for? but tbh i'm very much doubting it. my mums been the way she has for as long as i've known her and her own kids haven't changed her, nor has having a grandbaby so can't see another grandbaby causing her to have a complete change to sort her life out to help her daughter bring up a baby. i'm scared for her because i know what my mums like and i know what having a baby's like, and it aint all flowers and rainbows :( i really really hope that somebody who knows can offer her the support and encouragement she will need.

    i hope to god my mum is offering her lots of support and does offer to give her a break everynow and again because we all NEED thatbreak every now and again don't we just to remain sane ? :lol:

    xXx
     
  14. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest

    :) i'm not trying to have a go or cause and argument..but do the kids consent to having their hair straightened cos i wouldn't say thats awful if they consent..understanderbly if they were to refuse and the 2 yr old yes.
    Hopefully she'll turn herself around when shes had the kid.

    She's probably just scared at the moment like any teen genuinely is!
     
  15. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    they don't have a choice :rofl: and i doubt the kids at that age really understand what she's doing enough to make an informed decision about that or anything else tbh. my mum used to tell her off for doing it and she'd just be like 'yeah? so what?' if they try to escape they get a 'well fuck off then' shouted at them. reeeally don't think straightening a young child/babys hair is the best considering how damaging straightners are to our hair, with serums etc on and how fine little ones hair is. not to mention them moving and being burnt on 200degree heat. it's making mecringe just thinking about it. i would kill anybody who tried to straighten my childs hair with the bloody straightener cord :rofl:

    i dunno if she is scared, she used to always say 'oh i'd love a baby' blah blah blah so i think she thinks it's all fun and games. she sounds likea classic case of i've never been loved so having a baby will give me that :(

    xXx
     
  16. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest


    No i completely understand...I,also wouldn't lket anybody straighten my childs hair.
    I was just making the sort of point.

    A lot of teens tell their younger siblings to 'fuck off' and 'piss off'
    That's just general sibling rivalary(sp?)
    I mean siblings get annoyed with one another,i used to get peed of with my little sister and say nasty things if she didn't want to play.

    I guess you'll just have to wait and see!!
     
  17. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i don't think i've ever told any of them to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' tbh. nor would i. i don't (generally as a rule anyway :lol:) tell people to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' reguardless of their age, it's rude and (usually) uncalled for. especially to younger kids, between the ages of 2 and 13 (i think) they shouldn't have to listen to somebody telling them to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' or hear that language full stop. it's disgusting. but the language from my mums mouth isn't much better tbh! kids pick up swear words and there is nothing worse than hearing some toddler walking around swearing. i tell my nan off even if she says the word 'sod' around my son. if she was swearing at my oldest younger brother who is over 18 and away from the younger ones... then fair enough, but infront of young children is very very wrong. she def has alot of changing and growing up to do. but i guess if she sees my mum doing what she does re: the kids and looking after them, she'll think it's a good/normal way to bring up kids? as she's never had anybody else to see/be shown love from.

    xXx
     
  18. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i don't think i've ever told any of them to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' tbh. nor would i. i don't (generally as a rule anyway :lol:) tell people to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' reguardless of their age, it's rude and (usually :lol:) uncalled for. especially to younger kids, between the ages of 2 and 13 (i think) they shouldn't have to listen to somebody telling them to 'fuck off' or 'piss off' or hear that language full stop. it's disgusting. but the language from my mums mouth isn't much better tbh! kids pick up swear words and there is nothing worse than hearing some toddler walking around swearing. i tell my nan off even if she says the word 'sod' around my son. if she was swearing at my oldest younger brother who is over 18 and away from the younger ones... then fair enough, but infront of young children is very very wrong. she def has alot of changing and growing up to do. but i guess if she sees my mum doing what she does re: the kids and looking after them, she'll think it's a good/normal way to bring up kids? as she's never had anybody else to see/be shown love from.

    xXx
     
  19. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest

    i didn't generally mean every teen tells their siblings to fuck off...but you argue..that's exactly what siblings do.argue over stupid things.
    Anyway am leaving it as it is now..as i've said my bit and tried to explain myself.

    Just hope she changes for u and you'll give her a chance before judging her before shes even had the baby!

    x
     

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