upset,hurt and confused -*updated on p1 for the last time!*

[Samantha675]

Comfort sucking is NOT going to lead to a clingy baby. Your baby will become clingy no matter what - it's a normal part of their development. There's actually research which suggests that if you comfort a baby whenever they need it, the child will become more independent a lot quicker as they are more secure. Google Attachment Theory for more info on this.

I totally agree with this. Babies are meant to cling, it is a survival instinct. This link is from Dr. Sears, a big proponant of Attachment Parenting.
https://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130100.asp

 

[sam's mum]

I'd just let her suck whenever she wants to - comfort sucking is perfectly normal for young babies and will not make her any more 'clingy' than she would be if you didn't let her!

There's a growth chart for breastfed girls here: Average Growth of Breastfed Girls

While she might be below average she's not at the bottom of the chart and has still been gaining weight. Can't remember if I said it before but little things can make a big difference to their weight while they're still tiny (just being fed or just having a very wet nappy can add or take off several oz...even being weighed at a different time of day or on a different set of scales can change their weight), so as long as she'd still feeding ok, seems content and she's giving you lots of wet and dirty nappies I wouldn't worry until you next have her weighed. And then I'd consider waking her up for an extra feed at night if you need to rather than giving her a bottle. I'm sure she'll catch up on her own though x

 

[claire1983]

I think the reason HV's and Doctors get like this is because there is so much red tape and guidelines that they have to stick to and they get so bogged down with procedure they forget why they are there - to help the mums and baby's and see to their INDIVIDUAL needs. You are doing a great job exclusively feeding and your baby seems very happy, why upset your LO and cause yourself uneccassary stress trying to get LO on the bottle, its pointless unless LO is losing weight or appears un well you should carry on breastfeeding, as I suggessted before take a good multivitamin for feeding mums and try and make sure you take in plenty of calories - I know we all watch what we eat after delivery but you really need those extra calories right now. Good luck and dont feel deflated by the advice you have been given by the professionals, your instinct is always far more accurate.

 

[Margerle]

HV and doctors say the weirdest things, i just remembered my HV telling me that if i put Amelia on the boob everytime she cried (this was the first week i had her and we were still getting to know one another) that she would learn to resent me as she would think 'oh no don't feed me again!'.
Has anyone else been told this?

Oh, Goodness gracious NO!

I think in all the women I've ever talked to that have had their doc give them "advice"... this takes the taco.



I'm just speechless with that one...

 

[Carolyn]

girls you are the BEST. i can't thank you enough

 

[sam's mum]

How are you? x

 

[tinytoes]

awwww dont feel down. just do waht you've got to do to care for baby. My baby didnt gain enough weight at the very start. He wasnt very good at sucking. And it took us 6 weeks to learn to breast feed properly. I had to use formula once a day at one point as I was so sore. Neither he nor I had it right I dont think. He's a chubber now though...doc has even commented on it! And now it's 100% boob. Do what you've got to do - even if you use formula now it doesnt commit you for ever.

 

[tinytoes]

HV and doctors say the weirdest things, i just remembered my HV telling me that if i put Amelia on the boob everytime she cried (this was the first week i had her and we were still getting to know one another) that she would learn to resent me as she would think 'oh no don't feed me again!'.
Has anyone else been told this?

Oh, Goodness gracious NO!

I think in all the women I've ever talked to that have had their doc give them "advice"... this takes the taco.



I'm just speechless with that one...

my baby doesnt resent me, but he seems to dislike feeding sometimes - i think he links it with me tring to get him to sleep. (I used to always feed him to sleep)...he'll get all mad and scream and go all rigid and hot and kick his feet and refuse to feed.... (oh god, how will he be when he's 2?!?....gosh I'd best be strong!)

that said, he is still considerably over the avergae for weight gain so he can afford to turn his nose up at it from time to time.

 

[Carolyn]

How are you? x

thanks for asking...

i still feel a bit on my own in wanting to stay exclusively breast...

even one of my best friends who bfs said there's no harm in topping up.

i guess i'd feel a bit like a failure..?

i feel comforted by all of you kind and supportive comments.

i've expressed some milk over the past few days and oh's been feeding her, which has given me some time off, helped me gain some perspective.

i don't think it's helping my post natal feelings though, i'm still a bit screwed up from the birth, motherhood is not how i envisaged it...taking me time to adjust!!!

thanks sam's mum

 

[Hevz]

I was ordered once by a midwife to feed my daughter some formula or she would....WTF?????


Have you spoken to a lactation consultant in your area? They may be able to help you. Good luck babe and stick to your guns chick

 

[MissPolley]

How are you? x

thanks for asking...

i still feel a bit on my own in wanting to stay exclusively breast...

even one of my best friends who bfs said there's no harm in topping up.

i guess i'd feel a bit like a failure..?

i feel comforted by all of you kind and supportive comments.

i've expressed some milk over the past few days and oh's been feeding her, which has given me some time off, helped me gain some perspective.

i don't think it's helping my post natal feelings though, i'm still a bit screwed up from the birth, motherhood is not how i envisaged it...taking me time to adjust!!!

thanks sam's mum

tbh you shouldnt use bottle and boob, she may be rejecting the boob because the botte's milk comes out at a different pace and its a different technique to getting the milk too, just stick with the boob and it will be fine

 

[Carolyn]

ringing lactation consultant in morning, getting abigail weighed again on weds...dreading it!
she's finished the 6/8 week growth spurt and is feedin every two/three hours for 20/30 mins. normal?
seems happy, sleeps for four/five hour stretches, wee and poo seems normal...oh well.
i had a dream last night that the health visitor read the scales wrong and i mocked her whilst dancing...

 

[sam's mum]

How are you? x

thanks for asking...

i still feel a bit on my own in wanting to stay exclusively breast...

even one of my best friends who bfs said there's no harm in topping up.

i guess i'd feel a bit like a failure..?

i feel comforted by all of you kind and supportive comments.

i've expressed some milk over the past few days and oh's been feeding her, which has given me some time off, helped me gain some perspective.

i don't think it's helping my post natal feelings though, i'm still a bit screwed up from the birth, motherhood is not how i envisaged it...taking me time to adjust!!!

thanks sam's mum

It sounds like you're doing great without topping her up. Nothing was quite how I imagined it to be at first either - and all the hormones and tiredness really don't help.

Hope it goes well tomorrow. Every 2-3 hours for 20/30 mins sounds perfectly normal, amd if she seems content, she's sleeping well and having lots of wet and dirty nappies I wouldn't worry too much about her weight gain if she's not put on as much as you'd hoped. Sam was exactly the same for a few weeks and I just carried on feeding him whenever he wanted and his weight sorted itself out.

at you mocking the HV x

 

[MissPolley]

better than my dream, i dreamt my OH had died in an accident and i woke up and cried, stupid dreams, but at least yours was a funny dream with dancing

 

[Carolyn]

well today has been good...

bf consultant has sorted me out some tablets to increase supply.

she has also told me that she's secured me an electric pump to express the milk to give to baby.

bubs took a dummy for the first time today and slept for 3 and a half hours - unheard of!

also blood test came back and i'm no longer anaemic!!! so, i'm a happy bunny.
nearly 9 weeks after birth and i'm starting to feel like myself again! thanks for all of your help...you are all super stars


ps consultant rang my hv and 'spoke to her about the 'advice' she gave me'....someone's had their knuckles rapped!!!

 

[sam's mum]

So pleased for you! Sounds like it's all going really well

x

 

[MissPolley]

glad its all worked out for you babe and happy to hear she slept for so long

 

[Samantha675]

Wonderful news all around hun!!

 

[Hevz]

well today has been good...

bf consultant has sorted me out some tablets to increase supply.

she has also told me that she's secured me an electric pump to express the milk to give to baby.

bubs took a dummy for the first time today and slept for 3 and a half hours - unheard of!

also blood test came back and i'm no longer anaemic!!! so, i'm a happy bunny.
nearly 9 weeks after birth and i'm starting to feel like myself again! thanks for all of your help...you are all super stars


ps consultant rang my hv and 'spoke to her about the 'advice' she gave me'....someone's had their knuckles rapped!!!

That's great news babe....did you dance around her?

 

[Whisper]

Fab news hun, see you were doing everything right!
Pleased to hear that you are feeling better.
xx