Venting: Disappointed, frustrated. Needing encouragement.

[MrsCorny]

So in February I thought I was pregnant. Been on the pill for 5 years, but in February I had sore, swollen breasts, nausea, fatigue. Never having experienced sore breast before, my mind jumped to the possibility of pregnancy, so I went off the pill just to be safe. After doing research, etc. my husband and I decided I should just stay off of it and if I get pregnant, that's great too. So I guess now we are NTNP. :/ well ever since I thought I was pregnant, it's all I want, but hubby not ready to actually try. Then last week my period was 5 days late and I began getting excited and I took the home preg test about 2 days after my period was due, negative, then on Tuesday night I woke up with excruciating cramping and heavy bleeding, well it only lasted about 36 hours then light spotting for 2 days. Obviously I'm not pregnant, but really wanted to be... We are having everyone over for Mother's Day so I had it all planned out in my head to announce it then. I'm just tired of getting excited and then not being pregnant. How do I not get my hopes up?? Or Maybe I just needed to vent! :/

 

[Andi86]

Your situation sounds similar to mine. I'm NTNP as well after 11 years on the pill. I would be full on TTC but my husband doesn't want the pressure/stress of trying. It sucks though because I still stress about it and I know when I'm ovulating. So during that time I will want to and he won't be in the mood grrr. And because we are NTNP I can't really be like but we have to cause I'm ovulating.

Back in Dec I thought for sure I was pregnant cause I had symptoms such as sore breasts, moody, acne, fatigue (I was falling asleep by 6-7 p.m.), and I spotted for a day then it went away and I never got my period. My whole plan was to tell family and friends over Christmas....then I took a few tests and that ugly showed up. It really sucks sometimes and is frustrating . All my friends just got pregnant by accident or it happened pretty much right away for them when they TTC. I don't feel like people understand that I literally think about having a baby every single day...numerous times in a day. I guess I don't really know how to help you not get your hopes up since I have the same problem. But this site helps and there is others like you out there. If you need to vent ever I'm around to listen if you need!

 

[momofone08]

I am sorry you are frustrated. I have been there and completely understand how you are feeling. Try sitting your husband down and tell him that you feel you are ready to fully TTC.
Just want to send you

 

[MrsCorny]

So my husband knows I am ready to start TTC already. But knowing he is not ready i don't want to push the issue and make it something negative. He gets overwhelmed fairly quickly with this kind if stuff. He is an absolutely wonderful husband, provider and friend, we have a great marriage and he doesn't want that to change yet, which I can understand. But I think not knowing, or having any idea of when we can start really TTC, is killing me, it's almost like I have no hope. Right now the only thing we are doing to prevent is withdrawal method, but that's no fun! Haha! Anyway, this morning I asked him if on my 25th birthday we can start really trying- which is in just over a year. So it will be a long year for me, but it will give me something to look forward to (if I don't become pregnant before then- God's Will and wishful thinking lol). He seemed okay with the idea. Hoping maybe we will try just once on my birthday this year, but I doubt it lol he is kinda paranoid about it, even though twice I thought I was preggers and he was totally fine with it, like less concerned than I was- which got me excited haha cuz I know he will be a phenomenal daddy! Thanks for your encouraging words ladies- finally gave me the courage to ask for a TTC date and it wasn't so bad!! Haha can you tell I over think things waaayyy too much?!

 

[Daynaa]

Oh my heart goes out to you I know how your feeling, somehow we just went from ntnp to ttc and I don't remember how it happened and it was more my oh that wanted to wait. I think you have no need to worry you will either end up pregnant by the method you are currently using or your husband will come around sooner good luck x

 

[Andi86]

Mrs Corny i cant get over how much your situtation is simuler to mine. My husband is the same in the fact that he wants a kid but likes how we are now and doesnt want to be overwhelmed of trying or to feel pressure. He did agree to be NTNP but since then seems to have a low sex drive. It makes me upset cause I want a baby now but dont want to force it on him. Good luck to you!

 

[OurLilFlu]

Such a same story, I screwed up my bcp back in so I stopped the pack late in the cycle, come dec I'm having every symptom in the book so I didn't restart the pills. After 3 bfn and a neg bloodtest we were pretty disappointed. After some research, turns out your body reacts with pg signs when it finally gets the natural hormones your body makes instead of the synthetic of the pill. Told the BFP I didn't wanna confuse my body anymore and that I would do charting to prevent on fertike days and leave the pulling out to him... I'd rather truly be ntnp or ttc officially but he's not quite ready. But here I stand with a wonky cycle and we did bd during the fertile time.. Oops! Oh and btw my cycles off the pill have been 42, 35, 38 days long so far

 

[MrsCorny]

I actually had no big problems with my cycle. I thought I was oh back in February before I even thought about going off the pill, and the thought of the possibilities or what could happen if I were to be pg on the pill weren't worth it so I went off. The next 2 months I was 25 days apart almost on the hour! Lol so when I went to 30 days I got excited- for no reason. Womp womp! Haha feeling much better after hearing from all of you. Thanks for ur support. I wish the very best for you with the least amount of stress!!! Let me know when you all start TTC. I wanna know what changed with your OH! blessings!

 

[pieceofpie]

Hi everyone, read all the posts and thought I would jump in for a moment. Most men would love to have a baby with their partner however the stress of ttc is sometimes hard on them because if it does not happen right away then they feel it is something that is wrong with them and they starts to feel less of a man. Therefore, in order to cover their fears they would come up with every excuse in the book but at the same time they are not telling you to prevent it. When in fact they are in their own way telling you its fine to try and get pregnant and at the same time reassure themselves that if if does not happen there was no pressure on them and they were not really trying (I guess they are trying to keep their ego intact).
Mrscorny
The mere fact that your DH is using the pull out method which is not a good form of preventing a pregnancy should tell you something. The fact that you also gave him a year would give him just as much time to come to terms with it and readies himself and his mind. In the meantime you should to prepare your body for the baby by getting in shape physically, emotionally and start taking a folic supplement with a multi B-vitamin complex..you would be surprise how much it would take your mind off currently ttc to concieve because you would be so excited getting yourself together for the big event..it would be like the party you have been waiting for. Remember not to stress by hanging out with friends, doing all the things you like to do because it may be a long time before you get to do them again also if you really have the urge try keeping some of your friends/family kids for a few hours if you are really up to it.

I have made the decision NTNP because I have been doing this for about six years and it started to consume my life and I would get upset when I get all these pregnancy symptoms only to find out there is no baby on board or freak out if I did not ovulate and all of a sudden BDing starts to lose its pleasure, there was no more foreplay,cuddling, tenderness it was more lets get this bad boy on the road and do some hardcore sex then laying down on the back to get as much semen as possible by then the need to be together is gone.
Now I am relaxing and letting nature takes its course, no longer am I on a roller coaster ride of emotion and no longer am I consume by it. Wish I had made the decision earlier just did last month and I am feeling a whole lot better.

Wish you all the best and would love to be kept abreast of what is happening to all of you in regards to the outcome and I would do likewise.

 

[MrsCorny]

Thankfully it hasn't really affected our sex life much at all. I'm just hoping it will happen. I am actually a personal trainer so as far as preparing my body, I am in almost the best shape I could be for having a child, considering my lifestyle and my age. I will start taking a multivitamin though. guess already should be anyway! Haha thanks for the reminder! And I will keep you all posted as well, and hope the same from you! Blessings!!

 

[Andi86]

Thankfully it hasn't really affected our sex life much at all. I'm just hoping it will happen. I am actually a personal trainer so as far as preparing my body, I am in almost the best shape I could be for having a child, considering my lifestyle and my age. I will start taking a multivitamin though. guess already should be anyway! Haha thanks for the reminder! And I will keep you all posted as well, and hope the same from you! Blessings!!

You should actually take prenatal vitamins. Its good to take before you get pregnant since women don't normally find out they are pregnant until 4-6 weeks. Babies can develop birth defects in those first 4-6 weeks such as Spina Bifida or clef lip/pallet. Taking the prenatals will prevent these birth defects as they have all the vitamins and nutrients you and the baby need.

 

[pieceofpie]

Keeping my fingers cross for you and hope it happen soon as well. Enjoy and all the best.

 

[SimplyCountry]

I understand completely. I just came off my BC and was 100% not TTC because I work full time, just aquired a 6 year old step son, and started my masters program. However with my fiance's and my age, we decided to NTNP. It's been a month and I haven't really been tracking temps or days or anything like that, however I do know my ovulation dates. We've had and now I'm having symptoms for the past two weeks. I am 5 days late, however: BFN . Now I'm getting myself all riled up hoping I am but not knowing in the same.
It's a very trying time, and know that there are some of us out here in the same boat as you. So let's do this boat ride together with some NA Daquris and see where it takes us!!!!

 

[minni2906]

I think it happens to everyone of us. We tell ourselves were NTNP but in reality we're desperate to TTC because we want a baby so badly. I've been there. I'm there now. Currently on CD 2 and can't wait to stop af so I can BD BD BD in hopes of getting a BFP next month!!

 

[MrsCorny]

Haha so true about about secretly wanting to TTC!!! I don't really track dates or anything either, I just guess about ovulation- thought everyone on here tracked all their stuff and i am just being lazy!! I never really know exactly when i ovulate but I estimate so for me it would be this week, I think. but we BD at least every other day- mostly every day, I'm a lucky gal! Lol so I just hope for a BFP each month. I heard if u go for "round 2" there is higher chance of getting preggers and that was last night for us, so I'm crossing my fingers haha! My AF is due on may 29 if I go by the 28 day cycle. And my bday is June 11- who knows maybe a birthday surprise!?!?! Haha again- blessings to all!

 

[minni2906]

Very interesting. I would thini going for "round 2" would not give the boys enough time to regroup in order to have any effect. Hmmm. I'm sure I'll be able to test it out. Haha.

 

[pieceofpie]

MrsCorny hope you get your birthday wish and get a BFP..if it was for getting pregnant by doing tons of BDing than I should be getting my positive as well. I was so horny for the past few days that we have been at it all night mostly every day except on Tuesday we did dtd only once. Cant do anything tonight cause I ended up bruised and sore so I will be soaking in some epsom salts to ease the pain..but there are other ways. wink.

Fingers cross for you as for me I am loving the new outlook I have on getting pregnant.

Enjoy the weekend.

 

[MrsCorny]

Hey ladies- help bring me back down to earth please... Lol my LMP was May 1. Yesterday I had extremely sore nipples....TMI, sorry. Today is a little better though. So naturally, when something changes with my breasts, which has only happened one other time in my life-- I start gettin a little excited. But I also know it is way too early for that to have been a pregnancy symptom and that was all I was feeling different. I guess I'm hoping you ladies can make me feel okay with it now that I probably am not pregnant. Lol if my AF doesn't come on 5/29 I'm gonna test 5/30 with the first urine. So I'm a little anxious- especially after seeing my hubby dance with his 7 year old little cousin at a wedding last night, man I am broody!!! Haha!
How is everyone doing?? I love to read updates- keeps me kinda sane knowing I'm not the only one going thru this crazy thing we call NTNP thanks blessings!!!

 

[Andi86]

Hey ladies- help bring me back down to earth please... Lol my LMP was May 1. Yesterday I had extremely sore nipples....TMI, sorry. Today is a little better though. So naturally, when something changes with my breasts, which has only happened one other time in my life-- I start gettin a little excited. But I also know it is way too early for that to have been a pregnancy symptom and that was all I was feeling different. I guess I'm hoping you ladies can make me feel okay with it now that I probably am not pregnant. Lol if my AF doesn't come on 5/29 I'm gonna test 5/30 with the first urine. So I'm a little anxious- especially after seeing my hubby dance with his 7 year old little cousin at a wedding last night, man I am broody!!! Haha!
How is everyone doing?? I love to read updates- keeps me kinda sane knowing I'm not the only one going thru this crazy thing we call NTNP thanks blessings!!!

Hey Mrs.Corny. I love reading updates too. I was feeling symptoms pretty much right after ovulating so don't feel bad your not the only one lol. Sometimes I wonder if its all in my head or if i'm actually experiencing these things lol. I'm 10 dpo. I gave in and tested yesterday with first urine. Got a , not even a hint of a line but I'm still hopeful because it could be to early as my AF isn't due until the 23rd. My symptoms seem to have gone away so I'm doubtful but you never know! good luck to you

 

[MrsCorny]

I'll be lookin for ur next update Andi86! I'm so tempted to try on the 25... 5 days before my AF is due cuz packaging says u can, but I don't wanna see another BFN. So I'll wait til it's late. Lol but only a day late...