Venting: Disappointed, frustrated. Needing encouragement.

[pieceofpie]

Hello ladies, I enjoy reading the post as well give me something to do. Sorry but I have no symptoms as well but then its only seven days past ovulation for me. I had a drop below the coverline yesterday and today a jump of more than .8 which is strange for me but then everything with TTc is strange.

I have made the decision NTNP and so far it is going well. I am love to temp and temp several times a day but only use the morning one.

Ladies I am sure you all will have something to be happy about by the end of the month and try to relax or shop to ease the mind from temping.

 

[minni2906]

I love updates too.

I havr nothing to post you all on though. I haven't even O'd yet. Af not due for me until June 16th! 32 day cycle, usually.

 

[MrsCorny]

Can anyone say "symptom spotting"??? Well I sure can cuz I'm the queen of it! Lol like I mentioned befor had sore nipples for 2-3 days, then nothing but felt nauseous after each time I ate but only slightly. Warning: TMI: yesterday loose stools, today the opposite... Ugh, still feeling slightly nauseous whenever I eat- waiting to test cuz AF not due til 5/29... But it's driving me crazy... And today I keep feeling twinges down by ovaries- I keep telling myself I'm just catchin a bug cuz I work with kids that are in school or the sudden rise in temp in my area is making me feel this way and that the twinges are just "muscles spasms" lol idk... I'm just tired of gettin my hopes up and it's only been since February that we are NTNP!! how am I gonna make it another year before my DH says we can actually NTNP (we are using pull out method only right now- which is still kinda preventing lol) I feel like a lunatic all back and forth thinking maybe I am, no I'm not, maybe I am, no I'm not....

 

[hopefulfor1st]

February this year??? So you've only been trying like 2-3 months and your upset it hasn't happened? That's a bit unrealistic

 

[MrsCorny]

Not upset it hasn't happened. Just get disappointed when I see the BFN. but I get over it in like a day. I'm not wondering why it hasn't happened yet, that's clear. I just get frustrated not knowing what to expect each month but still wishing it would happen. I've been ready to have a baby for some time now, so I'm excited for it to happen. It was just in february my husband agreeed I should stop the bcp.

 

[pieceofpie]

MrsCorny, don't worry and upset this may just be your month. Sometimes some of us have come to terms with not getting a positive result in years but still try because we are after a mission. Others cannot handle it because it is indeed taxing on a person emotional and we take it out in different ways. Trust me you will get used to it and become such a pro you would not believe. Some of your symptoms do sounds like pregnancy but my question to you is if you are doing the pull out method why would you get upset if there is not pregnancy. NTNP means not doing that method, not using any form of preventive, or taking anything to increase chances just let nature takes it course. I can see that if you just let nature takes it course there will be a positive for sure. If AF is due on the 29th then take a test on the 26 and another later on the 29 and keep testing until AF comes. Please stop symptom spotting cuz you will drive yourself crazy.

Hopefulfor1st...ever thought of taking Lydia Pinkham to bring on AF and sometime too much exercise can halt AF including excess dieting. You should try losing about 5lbs and up it from there..sometimes all it takes is a bit of adjustments nothing harsh..take it from someone who have been there to the point of damaging an organ and had to have it remove. No I use do 15 miles every Saturday from 4am -7am and hardcore exercise in the afternoon for two hours five days a week and I was not ovulating until I ease up abit and I have just started about 7 months ago to have regular period. Also try to relax (that's my word) cause you sound angry and that is not going to help.

 

[Andi86]

February this year??? So you've only been trying like 2-3 months and your upset it hasn't happened? That's a bit unrealistic

Wow, That's a little harsh isn't it? I was disappointed that it didn't happen right away for me too. Plus Its not unrealistic either. Lots of people get pregnant right away or without even trying.

 

[MrsCorny]

Andi and piece of pie, thank you. I def need to stop symptom spotting. It stresses me out. I'm actually feeling better right now. Pulling out is his choice, like he is okay if it happens but doesn't want to completely go for it. I wish he wouldn't, but I don't wanna push him either. I'm in a weird place, not TTC not NTNP, but not fully preventing either. Idk. I think that is where most of my stress is cuz hubby is kinda 50/50 on the whole thing. Thanks for the encouragement. I just need to keep my head on straight. Had a rough week with my best friend passing away... She was so excited for me to have children, idk it threw me into a craze I think. Hard to explain...

 

[pieceofpie]

Mrscorny, everyone goes through it you are not alone and wont be the first or the last. Someone people take out their unhappiness on others because they did not get what they want when they wanted it. Everyone is different and handle things differently. I am not pregnant, my son died when he was 10 days old 12 years ago and I hate to see persons who have kids and abuse them but what do I say? I don't take it out on someone if the person is feeling a bit down.
My ex and I was going for over seven years and that was the method he used, the pull out because he did not want kids with me I guess because he is greek and I am a black woman with a Jew for a grandmother so I am a no no, mind you he was fine before he found out I had jewish dna even though I am black because he wanted three kids but after he found out it was taboo and the pull out method or condom. However, I wanted a child because my clock was running, I convince him to try sex without pulling out just once and I was pregnant..so you see it can happen.

Don't worry and I am sorry to hear about the passing of your BFF.

 

[Andi86]

Andi and piece of pie, thank you. I def need to stop symptom spotting. It stresses me out. I'm actually feeling better right now. Pulling out is his choice, like he is okay if it happens but doesn't want to completely go for it. I wish he wouldn't, but I don't wanna push him either. I'm in a weird place, not TTC not NTNP, but not fully preventing either. Idk. I think that is where most of my stress is cuz hubby is kinda 50/50 on the whole thing. Thanks for the encouragement. I just need to keep my head on straight. Had a rough week with my best friend passing away... She was so excited for me to have children, idk it threw me into a craze I think. Hard to explain...

and there is no need to explain. That's what's great about this site, your able to rant, say how your feeling and ask for advice. There is so many people here who are in different situations, and some that are in the same. But in the end we are all here for one reason and that's because we want to be a parent. Most people on this site are supportive and understanding.

 

[MrsCorny]

Thanks again ladies. And pieceofpie, that is so heartbreaking. My prayers go out for you. I wish u the best. That really is a difficult situation. God bless you for pushing thru.

 

[pieceofpie]

I have long ago come to a point in my life where nothing or what persons say move me anymore, I grow up without affection and what love is all about. When I was younger I was seeking attention and someone to love me, due to this I would open myself up and share the affection I have for others. I was used countless of times by best friends, so called friends and the few boyfriends I had. I have endure verbal abuse from my mom, looked down upon by her family, was told that I spoil the family with my looks and colour. I have boyfriends who used me to assist them in getting their life in order and then move on to someone else to enjoy it with but when everything fails they wanted to come back in my life (but no way). I had a brother who tried to sexually abuse me on several occasion but it never worked because God was always in my corner from a child and he protected me. A boss who walked all over my back to get where she was and in the end had to flee the country because she stole over a million from the company and now everyone wants to be my friend. I am simple saying that we all have it and come in contact with monsters during our time. I have no children was pregnant in 2011 and the guy left when I told him which case I ended up MCing at five weeks. He comes back after he found out about the MC because I was the only one who could have assisted him move up in life and get him out of the rut he was in, he ended falling in love with someone who used him and then he had some idea of what it felt like. I am not ugly, I used to model and do commercial (TV and print ad), worked as a assistant financial controller for a bank, have a small business, have my own home and am told that I am intelligent, am a Christian and can get any males I set my eyes on but just not interested because they all turn out to be frogs. I have no contact with any of my family and could not tell you where they are located and frankly I don't care. I take care of my mother the same woman who did not like me when I was younger but now claim she loves me more than anything in this world. It is just a part of life and the way you handle what was given you. Never, never let anyone or anything get you down and steal your thunder, you are you, you see and handle things differently than and we are all here for one purpose and goal only and that is to conceive. Some of us will indeed conceive and other wont but I am sure it would not be because of the lack of trying. Some of us on this board can handle the hurdle for years others just can do a few months before getting throwing in the towel. It just pisses me off when I see people on these site already with one, two, three or four kids trying for another one and have no sympathy for the ones trying to get just one. Sometimes I want to tell them off so bad and let go fly a kite but then I have to reel in myself and say let them be they are just to stupid to understand, they been there but forget the lesson and what they went through. Anyway I want to thank you for allowing me to somewhat vent even though it was suppose to offer you support.

Fertility Friend and all other charting site that I am part off remove my ovulating line indicating that I did not ovulate. I could understand because I did not felt like I did this month and my tempt was all over the place with weird symptoms. Once again an opportunity lost with time running out for me. I used to stress now I will just move on and if it is in Gods hand it will happen.

PS: did I tell you I am just using BF for his semen and that's it. Now that it did not work I will end relationship with him. ....... don't judge.

 

[MrsCorny]

Honestly, this thread is for anyone to vent or to provide encouragement. I would like to provide encouragement as well. As cool as this site is for me and to know other women feel the same or can give me advice, the best encouragement and advice I ever receive is from the Word of God. In my most upsetting or disappointing times, in any situation, the Psalms always help me to focus on what is most important. My relationship with Jesus Christ as my personal savior. And knowing God is sovereign and His timing is the BEST timing. But it doesn't mean I won't feel disappointment each month with a BFN.

 

[pieceofpie]

Words well spoken.

 

[ebonymama]

big hug for all the ladies on here and especially for mrs corny....
thank u for reminding us of the psalms..and how much GOD gonna remain being there for us through our time we are waiting for our bfps...


are u from a christian background mrs c if u dont mind me asking ?

 

[MrsCorny]

Yes ma'am, I am a Christian, so blessed to be a child of God!! Ebonymama, and anyone else on this thread... Are you a forgiven sinner, following Christ, too?

I had a great reminder this morning... If Jesus isn't Lord OF all in your life, He isn't really Lord AT all in your life. We need to surrender EVERYTHING to Him, including our desires to be parents, and trust Him to fulfill HIS plan in us, which is the BEST for us, even if we can't see it at the moment.

So glad I have been reminded- I was going bonkers- even tho I am still symptom spotting a little- gotta be honest lol (twinges now!!) ugh! Haha

 

[ebonymama]

thank u lord for sending mrs c and also u piece of pie,

so sorry for your troubles....jus hang in there girl...

i always wanted to come across women from christian background and from a financial background cause i am from a christian background and i am an accounting student.....

jus want to be a parent and a successful tax accountant so bad but i am in my early thirties and i am thinking like its never gonna happen.......

can i buddy up with u ladies?

so a bit of history for me....my hubby n i will be 10 years together next year and we shared our first ever natural bfp in 2011...a beautiful baby girl who was born sleeping in 2012...(my heart can never be whole again)..

we have been trying since with no success....my gyne diagnosed me with pcos and put me on metformin and here i am...

its extra extra hard for me cause right now right next to me in work is a preggy co worker of mines (#1)
and also at home my hubby's sister is pregnant

so i am not jealous or anything jus sometimes i wish my ttc journey can end and a bfp will prevail....

so coming on here and bouncing up u ladies is good distraction to talk things through.....cause i dare not talk these things with anyone not even hubby...cause i dont want him to know how disperate or perhaps obsess i am...

 

[MrsCorny]

Aww ebonymama... I am so sorry for your loss. We can def buddy up and I will pray for you. We aren't even really trying and a BFN is still heartbreaking for me. I cant Imagine what u are going thru. Feel free to private message me on here if u want. We can be prayer partners if u would like. That goes for anyone. Blessings to all!

 

[ebonymama]

thanks mrs c
would love that...

so to take my mind off things i decided to focus on losing some more weight...have lost 8 lbs so far the last time i checked...ideal weight is around 115 i am currently 145 lbs ...it doesn't look too bad cause im a curvy ebony but i am short ...i am jus 5 ft....

i also have to lose for other health reasons...so i wanna continue going hard at it ....i would love love to go down some more weight before i get my bfp though....

 

[MrsCorny]

That's awesome. I'm actually a personal trainer. Working on women's fitness for my specialization. Hoping to do pre and post natal fitness training! I wish you luck on your journey to fitness and health as well!!