Venting: Disappointed, frustrated. Needing encouragement.

[pieceofpie]

hello ebonymama, it is indeed good to join this board and meet with others who some how shares what you are going through. I would indeed love to be buddy and we can chat up anytime you wish via PM or here on the board. Like mrsC I am a Christian was baptize as a baby but personally have not done the water version as yet. I still have a lot of struggles that I am currently going through and many more demons to fight.
I understand the need for a baby so badly to the point that we allow it to take over our body mind and soul but I am starting to come the conclusion that sometimes just sometime we need to take a back seat and let the lord do his work.
There is 24 year old lady that lives six houses from me and is on her seventh child for six different fathers and she is not working always asking for $5/10 to buy things to eat and I get angry because I know I can take care of a baby but have yet to get one.
I guess its one of those things in life. At what stage are you in your accounting study? I did economic banking and finance with my series seven and detection of money laundering..not that its helping any at the moment but its an excellent field as least in my opinion.

Sorry I cant stay for very long, my mood is shot and I am feeling seriously depress today so I will go in my corner and sulk.

 

[ebonymama]

nice meeting u piece of pie....
again sorry its so hard for u in your struggle....yeah this is one of those things...its unfair but we just have to accept it.....

what i am doing now is shifting my focus on losing weight.....was 154 LB and currently 149 LBS and finishing my studies.....cause dwelling on something that is taking forever to swing in my favor is just not healthy.....next thing ya know we all send ourselves mad.....
lolzzzzzzzzzzzz....

i am on the second level of ACCA....u should be familiar with that qualification....but i rather the canadian version....(CGA-CANADA)

trying to double up the ACCA with completing a project and getting my BSC in accounting as well (don't have my degree yet either

when i finish all that i wanna go on to a MSC in finance...

from reading your post u seem pretty much successful already in other parts of your life....

maybe u can find another passion to shift focus and just continue shining girlly....

or why not travel out to a country u have not yet been and make it like a project and plan for it

i am planning on coming to the US (new york) for the first time in the lather part of this year....i can't wait....

or go out and shop for new items for the house or clothes...

trying to cheer u up and by extension all the ladies who visits this thread and also the others who is apart of this thread...hope its working....

 

[pieceofpie]

it did and thanks a lot ebonymama..wow seems like you are doing a lot and with God by your side you will accomplished a lot. All the best to you..... I have visited New York a few times and like it a lot..went shopping. I hope you enjoy your trip and yes sometimes we can make our self sick when we want something so back therefore it is only right to step back re-access or take a break. I am of the opinion that if something is for you it will happen.

 

[ebonymama]

i agree if something is for u it is just that, for u....

so from looking at the band u probably in your TWW...are u feeling any different...any symptoms perhaps?

 

[pieceofpie]

Fertility Friend remove my ovulation line and mymonthlycycles including countdowntopregnancy all have indicated that I did not ovulate. CTP did give me a cover line of 97.4 and FF had me ovulating at CD14 but as I said remove it.

I had some symptoms that had looked like they were implantation but it was nothing. At the moment I am feeling nothing except I am moody and depress, but this sometimes happens when AF is on her way. my temp is up in the day but when I wake up its either up one day and down the next so I have no idea what to make of it. I guess I want a child too badly so it is playing tricks with my body which tells me its time to ease up and take a rest. lol...

Think I will be having anovulatory cycle this period, just gotta wait and see.

I will keep you both informed and how are you doing cycle wise?

 

[ebonymama]

awww,,

sorry for taking soo long to reply....

from looking at the chart.....my cycle before the last one was like yours...and then came the last cycle which was 168 days which led me to the doc..

at least u r temping to know that its ovulation that u need to strongly focus on....

i read tons of posts on here and other websites where the ladies get their docs to put them on clomid to induce ovulation....

have u tried that?

so its my first cycle on metformin..so i gonna wait it out and observe how many days the cycle is going to last and just monitor my temps every 2-3 days or so cause i know what pre and post temps are like for me...

i wish i had an ultrasound machine at home and probe myself to know what my follies are doing......lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
( i think that's taking it to the extreme)

so
hang in there missy...

 

[pieceofpie]

Hi Ebony, yes I did the clomid treatment for a few months had many cyst to indicate that I had ovulate and one point I thought I was successful and it turns out its nothing. I tried the baby dancing every day and every other day thing and still nothing. I think that a few times I might have gotten pregnant but the baby did not implant properly due to the length of cycle and kind of periods I had.

I think its not to be and if it do happen its going to happen when I am in a complicated position, that is just the facts of life. I have now leave everything to God because only he can fix whatever the problem is. Currently I have been having some barely there noticeable twinges in the lower abdomen and pelvic area like AF is ready to come so I am kinda in a expecting mood.

The only thing is I have gain so much weight in my breast and stomach without eating, cause I have no appetite at all ( I know this happen when AF is on her way - but not this bad cause it has been like this for a few weeks. Tomorrow I guess I might be force to see the doctor.

I will indeed keep you posted.

I think clomid will indeed regulate your cycle or if not have the doctor done a hsg test on you as yet. I know it will happen for you soon, I always say try to relax and watch God work on you. Please keep me posted on your status as well.

 

[ebonymama]

hi all,

i thought i would just come on here and give a big shout out to u gals.....

its friday and the weekend is upon us......

lets us all POAS till Monday..........nah jus joking

CD 20 for me today nothing really to update except well brownish spotting early on this week and left side poking which i hope is ovulation....
got two high temps in a row so far and know if i continue to temp.. well probably mean AF is on her way or perhaps not....i just wish i can know for sure if i ovulated....i know if i call my gyne.....he would want to know if i am going nuts if i ask him to perform an ultrasound or bloodwork to confirm.....all he said to me was take the metformin until i get pregnant and just rushed me out his office he didnt sat down with me to really discuss a detailed plan.....but as we all have been stressing .....lets not stress and leave everything up to GOD.....

gonna take myself out later and have a glass of wine....listen to some music and chillax the evening away....

piece of pie.....i have not performed a HSG yet....i guess as the struggle progresses all those we come into play if need be......

i am hoping i dont have to..have u done that? is it painful?


how are u mrC...
any updates?