Venting!

[gueyilla1985]

i just want to take a moment to vent. I sometimes feel that god is not listening to my prayer. my 18 old brother and his 22 yrs old gf told me a couple of weeks ago that she is pg again. WTF!!!! they cant even take care of the baby they have now. why do i feel so dam agry and so jelous. i just want it to happen to me I know i would 100% better at taking care of the baby. Im so angry ahhhh

 

[addie25]

Trust me that is totally normal. I lost our baby at 14 weeks they were sick and I am heart broken. (that was this week) My friends get knocked up and are not married and I am sitting her empty because the baby I wanted more than anything is gone. Now i Have to wait till May or June to attempt getting pregnant again but this time with IVF to make sure the baby is perfectly healthy so it all gets very complicated. Y cant I just have sex get pregnant with a healthy baby and call it a day like so many others!!! I have dedicated my entire life to children I am a teacher and have worked with children since a young age. I will be a great mom and it was taken from me. It is very normal to be angry and jealous I am in the same boat. Sometimes now I turn my head if I see moms but then I remember I do not know their story what if they lost a baby or took 2 years to get pregnant. We all have a story some better than others and I hope to god we all have a happy ending and soon.

 

[gueyilla1985]

thank you. this is very hard for me because i have had babies before but i was dumb and didnt know what i was doing why cant it be like when i was 17 and got knock up with no dam effort it just makes me so dam angry even more so now

 

[addie25]

I no longer things happen for a reason they just happen. If things happen for a reason then why would a couple who has a house, makes good money and can support a child, and wants a child more than anything loose their child!!! Live and learn people say well I am done learninggggggg. I have learned enough about pain and suffering from this experience. I just want things to be easier. And even tho IVF wont be easy I hope it works fast and effectively. I am breaking down inside each time I see people I know getting pregnant and each time I think of the ultrasound of my baby lifting his or her arm and kicking bc they are no longer here. I hope this just becomes a distant memory and I can enjoy being pregnant this summer again with a healthy baby.

 

[gueyilla1985]

i just think its crazy cause i know alot of women feel the same way but no one wants to say it. i feel so bad because of the way i feel but sometimes i just need to vent. and i know it will happen soon.

 

[addie25]

It is normal to feel this way. It will be our turn soon and then we will relax.

 

[gueyilla1985]

im gonna be sooo overprotective hehehe

 

[addie25]

I will never go back to work I will stay with my baby all day and night lol I am not even joking. I told my husband when we get pregnant that is it. Family is most important and I will be home enjoying our baby!

 

[gueyilla1985]

lol i told my hubby i will go to school until i have the baby and then no more hehehe until he or she is a little older. i think all og us who have lost feel the same

 

[addie25]

Yes I think we do. Family comes first and I will be home with my baby. We even may have more than one with IVF and I really hope we do have twins!!! If we have twins then I will most likely just stop having children. I can not experience this loss again or fear that the baby will be sick so cross ur fingers that when we do ivf we have twins. I would obviously be thrilled with just one but 2 would be a great surprise.

 

[gueyilla1985]

lol. i hope i have twins too lol. i would def be done hehehe but ill be happy with whatever comes my way

 

[addie25]

Yes! My whole life I was scared to have twins and now I think BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gueyilla1985]

oh yeah i know i can handle it