VERY VERY VERY long rant, many apoligies!

[Katieeeee]

Urgh, I'm sitting here getting more and more cross so I need to have a rant and get it out! Sorry if this is so long....(I already know it will be!)

Basically when I was 7, my mum met and got married to my step dad. He treated me and my sister pretty badly and because my mum lets men control her, she went along with it and treated us pretty badly too. So when I was 17 she threw my sister and I out and we moved in with our nan and grandad. After a year there I moved in with my ex and we had our own place for a while. During this time, I got talking to my mum again and got onto some friendly ground with her...things weren't brilliant but at least we were talking.

SO, just after Christmas this year, my step nan passed away and I went to the funeral. At the funeral I saw my step sister who I hadn't seen for about 8 or 9 years. I never got on with her as a child, in fact I couldn't stand her,she was the definition lof a vile horrible spoilt evil little brat but I played nice and put on a friendly face. She actually came accross as quite friendly and nice and I thought she'd actually grown up to be quite a nice young woman....a few weeks later she added me on msn and on facebook and we'd chatted a few times, she'd told me about how she felt her stepdad neglected her and treated her like shit and I could relate to that, told her a few stories and said how I'd never liked him and how my mum had secretly told me in the past that she wanted to divorce him...

Then in february, I turned pregnant....even though I wasn't ever close to mum and only spoke to her once a month and saw her even less, I told her the day after I got the and she was over the moon! Over the past 3 months, the pregnancy has bought me and my mum closer together than ever. Any arguments and issues are in the past, I've put it all behind me, I just want to have a family and a fresh start and I want my baby to have a grandmother and uncles and possibly a stepgrandfather.

So, on good friday, I went round to my parents house and the wicked step sister was there....my step dad later pulled me aside and said "we haven't told her yet, we've left that for you to do", so thinking to myself, well she's gonna find out eventually and I don't want to tip toe around all day watching what I say, I told her - VERY reluctantly though as I KNEW she'd be really jealous! (She's an attention seeking bratty teenager)...as soon as the words came out of my mouth she yelled out "WHAT?!?!?!?!" and her face was a picture, you could almost read the different thoughts running through her mind- "I won't get any attention, they'll be all over Kate because a new baby is on the way, she'll be getting close to her mum...etc etc"...for the rest of the day she was in a nasty strop and even went as far as saying- in a really sarcastic voice, "don't fall over Katie, we wouldn't want THAT now would we"- how I kept my temper I don't know but she was implying there that she wanted me to fall over and kill my precious little baby! ANYWAY....a few weeks have gone by and I've since sat and listened to my mum and brothers tell me how much they hate her and how evil and nasty she is and I couldn't have agreed more with them. We've just been waiting and waiting for her to have some kind of outburst. And that happened this morning...I signed into msn and literallly 20 seconds later her box pops up- out of NOWHERE (I seriously did nothing to provoke her, I never speak to her) she said...

"ur spoonin there arse coz ur up duff katie!!! they dnt usually bother with u n now they are ha funny tht init cya" (and then blocked me)

(if you can actually make sense of that then good luck, her grammar and "text speak" is ridiculous and embarrasing but yeah, she's basically saying that I'm up my mum's arse because I'm pregnant and that my parents never bother with me and now they are because I'm pregnant). NICE. I'm sure you can imagine my rage.

So I rang my mum and let her know that Carly had finally lost her temper and thrown her toys out of the pram and she said right ok, we'll deal with it, you calm down and try to forget about it and if I were you I'd delete her off msn and facebook- obviously I didn't need telling twice.

About 20 minutes later I get a message from her on facebook.....

"if u wna be childish n delete me then go ahead cudnt give a fuk but u will be worryin wen i tell my dad wot u say bout him love!! n go ahead tell them wot i say i cudnt give a fuk i still got my mum soo me dnt care just coz ur pregnant ur all in with them now ur the sad one katie not me love!! but watch it just incase i do tell them coz there all u have!! coz wot isit u hate my dad n ur mum was gna leave him n that i still have chat logs!! n u tell them wot i sed like i sed i dnt care i got my mum n always will have my families right here!! ur the one bein walked over just coz ur up the duff haha!!"

So yes, I've been threatened by a bratty little teenager, and to be honest I really could not give a monkeys arsehole, but I'm now really upset and frustrated because I feel like she's going to ruin the relationship I've built up with my mum (I don't care about my stepdad but I don't want to cause any problems with him because at the end of the day, he's in the picture and I just want everyone to get along) just because she's jealous that she's not getting any attention. what do I do?! I've ignored the message obviously, I really wanted to send her something back but fighting with someone half my age is not something I would ever spend my time doing, I'm just so angry that she would try and ruin everything for me and make my pregnancy so miserable just because it's not all about her and she's stamping her feet and wants to be the centre of attention! As for "they're all you have!" I've got friends who treat me like family thankyou very bloody much, I've lived without my family for 7 years!! I know this is harsh but I actually want to shoot her!! No joke! If I could do it and not go to prison or upset anyone then I would! She's such an evil little brat, and now all I can think is great, I was so happy that my life actually seemed to be going in a nice happy direction, my family weren't arguing anymore and how wrong was I, it's ruined again.

I'm pretty sure my mum won't care because she hates her but how bad will I look that I've slagged my stepdad off behind his back! Again, mum won't care because she slags him off to me all the time and says how she wants to divorce him and move to Australia but still!!

I'm going to try and cut this down before I press send, but apoligies in advance! Thakyou for reading if you got this far! I feel a little bit better now for letting it all out so I suppose that's something!!

 

[booflebump]

Oh dear hun - she sounds AWFUL! Hopefully they will see that she is just a poisonous little brat and dont take any notice of her! xxx

 

[andbabymakes3]

Oh hunny. Families are rubbish sometimes. Count to ten...breathe...then google 'hitman for hire'...that should fix it (joke!!).

I know its hard - but rise above it. Any time you spend thinking about the silly little cow is time wasted. She isnt worth the bother.

Is there any way you can take the wind out of her sails? Perhaps approach your stepdad along the lines of 'hey, so when things havent been good I have said bla bla bla...but lets move on and start afresh'. That way when she goes to him with her 'chat logs' (what a loser for saving them??) she will have no ammo.

Sounds like a complete nut nut if you ask me. Silly little girl.

Chin up hun! x

 

[pkbaby]

Wow,

What a bad seed.

Good luck

 

[amylw1]

bless ya. its horrid when "familes" cause arguments. i would let your mum see the message IF you havnt already got rid of it. if you and your mum have started to sort things the last thing you want is to be keeping threats from the brat from her. she may not act on them but at least she is pre-warned if trouble starts. i hope you get it sorted.

me and my cousin (5yrs younger than me) speak only when we have to. i went to the local senior school she went to a private school from age 5 and thinks she's better than all of us. we had big arguments in november last year after a family do - she took photos of my boys, which i said she could but said they were NOT to go on facebook/beebo etc. well a week after the do they were ALL on the net. i went mad and told her to remove them and she threw a paddy. things went from bad to wrose and she decided to start bad mouth my dad (he died in 06). this was the final thing and if it hadnt been for my sister giving me loads of alcohol and refusing to take me to my cousins i would have killed her. since then if the other 1 is at our nans 1 of us walks out or my nan rings the other 2 warn them. it has put my nan in a very hard situation as we are both her grandaughters but she doesnt want us fighting in her house, and i have my kids who i wont let cousin near. maybe i'm the 1 in wrong and should forget it etc, but i dont trust her.

 

[Armywife]

There is one in every family honey! She sounds exactly as you described her - a spoiled selfish child. Rise above it, i know its so hard to do (my blood was boiling for you reading that). She obviously has issues or she would have no reason to be seeking attention and wanting to ruin things for you.

I'd say wait it out, if she does tell them deal with it then but don't get yourself too worked up - baby is more important. Try to explain calmly and if there is anything you feel you can apologise for without lying then do so and explain that you want everything to carry on as it was as you have loved having family around and you hope it can clear the air for the past without causing more problems. The other option would be to beat her to it, pre warn your mum and then at least you're not sat waiting for the inevitable?

She is nothing but a child, my advice would be if she continues messaging you send her one saying 'Grow up, i have no time in my life for playground silliness from you - as you keep pointing out i am pregnant, thats something you can't take away by stamping your feet - I will always have my baby' and leave it at that. Don't reply any more or argue with her. I hope you sort this out x x x

 

[xGemx]

Deny all knowledge of what you said. Beat her at her own game. Chat logs CAN be faked. Bits can be added and deleted before printing, it is possible so use it to your advantage. That way she's going to be shown up as the poison that she is. Even if you do have to bend the truth a little

 

[cinnamongirl]

Oh my! She is a terrible child and doesn't deserve any more of your attention! I hope u work it out!

 

[babystar]

 

[Seraphim]

I wouldn't suggest the denial route - she obviously can't handle english, so it would be a giveaway to say she faked any logs

If it were me, I would quietly, calmly, explain to mum that you vented to step-sister a long time ago. It's your mums relationship you're talking about... even if she's slightly hurt or embarassed, she'll know that you weren't making it up or lying.

Tell her just what you wrote here about being glad how things are, and accepting your step dad.

It will take the wind out of the little brat's sails.

Most of all, don't let her fuss you hon.

 

[Katieeeee]

THANKS EVERYONE! You've all made me feel so so much better! xxxxx

 

[K477uk]

I don't know what to suggest.. but goodluck and massive hugs

 

[Cazza89]

If i were you i'd just write back to her, be calm and polite, but say if she wants to be immature about the whole situation she can carry on. Explain to her that she is someone you don't need in your life and if she can't be civil then you want nothing to do with her. And that yours and your mums relationship has nothing to do with her.
I'd be fuming too. . .but if i was going through this i'd just tell her how it is coz that's just me. Let her know where she stands in all this and make it clear that she is not an important person in your life.
She needs to grow up and get over herself.
But also have a chat with your mum and maybe your stepdad too? Just let him know how she's behaving towards you. Tell your mum you're worried that her childish ways are going to affect your relationship etc and you want her in your babies life. If you can't talk to your stepdad, maybe your mum could have a word with him and your stepsis too even? Good luck. X

 

[Pippin]

wow what a cow!! If I was you hon, show your Mum the message (just to prove how spiteful she is), block her online and from your life and be honest about the stepdad thing I think your Mum will understand by the sounds of it. She's disturbed stay well away!

 

[eswift]

You're gonna have to be strong regardless on what you decide to do. Families as you know are rather unpredictable and can be hard work. Try not to fall out with you Mam & Stepdad; but if it comes to it try biting your tongue just a little bit harder.

I've to do that all the time where my sister is involved, she's manipulative, spiteful, spoilt and more. She 3 years younger than me and if she was a friend she wouldn't be one of mine. I know horrid but very truthful and my parents know how I feel, they're not daft. And to some degree they understand. It does make the arguements easier when they happen.

Good Luck!

 

[Chaos]

Wow what a little spoiled bitch, sounds like she needs taking down a peg or two.

I don't think you should lie and alter logs at all, that makes you no better than her. I think you should be honest with your Mum about things, before she gets it second hand from a kid who will twist things to her benefit. It's true, ogs can be altered, and she could use that to her advantage too and make them more .. interesting.

If your relationship is good now with your Mum, I think she will understand. She's a grown woman and she's not silly, she is going to know things were not great when you were little and if she's honest with her self will know you're hurt over it and were angry. We often say silly stuff in anger about stuff when we're hurt. She may be hurt at first and have a knee jerk reaction, but then .. wouldn't you?

Also I think her eyes are pretty open to the fact that your SS is a little shit stirrer and looking at your newly found close relationship with your Mum, I think this will put your SS in more of a bad light than you, and might be the last straw with her. Also if your Mum is as over the moon as you say, she's not going to want to loose that with her Flesh and Blood. Not many people get a 2nd chance.

If you don't think you could do it face to face and think it might get heated, write your Mum a letter, that way you have time to really sit and think about what you want to tell her and how. Also at the end of the day, she can re-read a letter and let the words sink in and let her actually think about the past and the present situation. Sometimes when you try and have a conversation, more so on a sensitive subject, people just hear what they want to hear and try to get their point across louder.

As regards to your SS, I would not write back to her *at* all. This is what she wants. She wants to push your buttons and piss you off. The thing an attention whore *hates* the most is to be ignored. You want to piss her off? That's the best way You are pregnant and do not need the stress from a pathetic little child.

I know where you are with this. I've not spoken to my mother in 13 years face to face. I aint going to go in to details, but lets just say it was bad enough for me to pack my bags and run 300 miles at 14YO. She keeps trying to contact me and I will have nothing to do with her. It's her burden to bare, not mine, I've moved on.

Families can be hard, you gotta be strong and not let this kid get the better of you.

 

[Tsia]

Well JEALOUSY is the ONLY word in play here. DEFFO

I would get the one up if it were me.

I would sit down like adults with both your mum and step dad.. maybe one at a time if so.. and tell them of some things you said when you wernt getting on and upset back in the day.
And explain to them that now this little brat is blackmailing you with what you said many moons ago when things were different.

Cover your back.. let them know what you let slip.. tell them at the time you were angry but that was back then etc etc and in the last few months you have been enjoying having them back in your lives and dont think like that anymore nor want the trust and love you have built back between them an you to be uneccessarily destroyed once more because of a little girl half your age thats not happy cos shes not getting all the attention.

If you come clean.. cover your back.. there is nothing this little bratt can spoil for you.


And.. dont tell the bratt you gave them the heads up.. let her think shes still got one over on you.. then if she ever does come out with it to try and get you into trouble and cause a fight between you and your mum and step dad.. your covered and they are prepared.. plus at that very point realise who is the better person- you over the little bratt sis.

Well thats how I would play it anyways.
Goodluck hun.. keep us informed. xx

 

[djgirl1976]

God bless you if you can be nice to that horrid little twit.
I don't think I could do it!
She needs to find a better way to spend her time!
If you can muster up the ability, try to keep being the bigger person. Its all you can do