Views Please.

[Cazza89]

This could be a long post so i apologise in advance! =)

Basically me and oh don't live together as yet. We had a rough patch a few months back and i was going to stay at home now and for a little while when bubs is here. Well things may be changing as oh is thinking of getting a house near my mums so we can live together! =) He currently lives an hour away.

Well, i have a large family but we're not close at all. When baby is here, if they want to see him/her then i will be local and they can come see me as i don't want to force my baby on people. . .plus, why would i go out of my way to take my baby to them when i see them once or twice a year? Obviously there are a few exceptions! I've told oh that i don't want visitors for the first 2 weeks and probably wont want to go anywhere for a month due to me bleeding etc! (as if i'm going to have embarressing leaks, i'd like to be at home!)
Anyway, oh is quite close to some of his family. They're always going on at him to go visit but he doesn't have much spare time as he works hard and a lot and on his one or two days off a week we spend it together. I like all of his family i've met so far, but when i'm at his, i'd like to just spend time with him instead of having to go visit lots of people!
Well, if he moves down here then i know we will have to take the baby up there for his family to see. . .which i completely understand and am fine with. . . BUT. . . My issue is, that when we go up there to visit that we are going to have to see his mum, sisters and brother, his dad and his wife, kids etc, aunties etc. And we will have to cram it all in! I'm really not looking foward to it, especially as people are going to want lots of cuddles etc and i HATE the thought of my baby being passed around like pass the parcel!!
Plus, if people ask if they can feed him/her i don't think i'll like it much. Or if they offer to babysit (they're all going to be an hour away and i want to be the one looking after my child and i don't want anyone to babysit! I know this may change when LO is here, but that's how i feel now.) I feel so protective over my baby already.

Am i being stupid? Views and opinions please! X

 

[golcarlilly]

It is only natural to feel protective of your baby and more so if they are people you don't know very well, I would just play it by ear and see how things go, you may be worrying over nothing, plus you prob won't want to go out and leave LO to begin with anyway so there won't be any opportunity for anyone to babysit!

 

[lalitas charm]

Hiya Hun, I think that is totally understandable. I think that I will be the same as my DH's family are in Scotland and I am in N.Ireland so when we go there it will be mental. My plan was to try and visit people when the LO was sleeping and also not to go to see everyone. If anyone asks I will be too tired to see them all and will apologise and will see them the next time. As for the feeding bit, I'm hoping to breast feed so that won't be a problem (unless they magically start to lactate! LOL!!). If you are worried about the feeding side of things I would just try not to feed the baby when visitors are around or if the baby does need fed when people are there just say "excuse us, we'll be back in a few minutes" and then go and feed him/her and dont give them the option to bottle feed as you will be out of the room.

You could also say that you dont want him/her passed around too many people in one day as he/she isn't used to it and might get upset as they are out of familiar places and with unfamiliar people. But say it with an apologetic smile and say when the baby is older it will be easier on visits.

I dont think you are being stupid BTW, its completely understandable.

 

[Cazza89]

Thanks ladies. This has made me feel a bit better. I'm ready to stay in every night for the next god knows how many years! I'm not worried about going out etc? when people are at mine, it'll be easy to go off to feed but i'm worried about when we're up his end with his family. X

 

[djgirl1976]

Well, I can see your point. I am on the other end of this with MIL dropping in whenever she feels like it already. I am not going to be into that once the baby arrives. Already irritates the living hell out of me. She's rude and extremely bossy and I know we will end up having words. I know I need to warn her not to give my baby a haircut without permission as she had the nerve to do this to DHs sister. They were so upset. I am really dreading how miserable this woman is going to make me, and the only solace I have is knowing we will get to move out of her regular driving route here in the next few years so she won't be barging in. I also know that there will come a time that I will be glad to have a few hours out with DH and will be happy to drop the baby off to her.