Visitors: What are your rules?

[AP]

I was adamant to no visitors. The nurses just let them in! because i was in a spare room before going to the ward. My LO was in NICU so no-one could see her without my permisson

Its amazing how friends and family get this magical idea that they can turn up whenever they want. A girl from work was in hosp with her mum and just turned up at neonatal expecting to see my LO! She was a collegue tbh, nothing more!

If I was to add tips

-Dont tell anyone you're in labour.
-When you get home - SWITCH OFF your phone.No-body even egins to think about the fact you may have a sleeping child and will phone you anyway!b

 

[CJane]

Oooh good advice on the switching off of phone, that hadn't occured to me. Being a first time mum I guess I just presumed everyone would be understanding and stay away sounds like I was very wrong!!

Thanks for the warnings guys!!

 

[rainbows_x]

I'm hoping to stay in hospital for one night, my parents will be there as my dad is driving me to the hospital & my mum wants to be at the birth, my OH is my birthing partner so will also be coming.
My sister will be visiting and that's pretty much it for visitors in ospital, but I don't mind OH's mum & my best friend visiting in hospital.

At home I only really want it to be me & OH for a few days & people turning up without asking I won't be happy with!
As long as I say it's okay they come over that's fine, but I can see people turning up out of the blue.

 

[mordino]

It will be just my DH, DD and my Mum at hospital. My inlaws live 200 miles away so they probably won't be seeing the baby till we are ready to travel. My Mum is coming over from the USA as she is one of my birth partners with my DH, just like before except that it might be different this time now that my DD is here.

I won't be getting any visitors at home for a while unless my aunt wants to pop around too soon! My neighbour popped in the day after I got home without asking - and she wanted me to give her the baby to cuddle. I was breastfeeding the baby at the time! I was not too pleased. I will have to talk to my DH and Mum about it.

 

[StarLightxx]

Heyy! At the hospital my OH and mum will be there with me and rest of our families are welcome to visit afters.

Once we are back home i would ideally like it to be just me and OH but my parents live in the same town, so i wont mind them coming round. Also duty calls with visiting each others grandparents as they are frail and cant go out their houses much!

So i probs wont get the quiet first week i am hoping for but i can try!

 

[Hellodoris]

I may have to have a C-Section, so until we have a clear idea on that I can't make a big policy... I know I stand no chance with saying no to my mum and my sister, and my OH folks will come down from Hull the moment they get the chance.. this is the first grandchild on either side so I can't blame them for being excited...

The only rule I currently do have is no visitors to the hospital (unless i end up staying a long time). I'll have a hard enough time coping as it is without people faffing round me and the baby...

We shall see i'm pretty open minded about the whole thing.. I'm sure i'll change my mind though

 

[piglet_1984]

If i have my baby in hospital i dont want any vistors at all my mum thinks its really harsh but i just want time alone with my oh and my new baby, im going to turn my phone off and tell no1 that im in labour as i know the second i tell my parents thay will be up the hospital.
Im hoping to have my baby at home but the problem i have is my mum lives on the next road along and i know she will be round every second when the time gets close she never listens to me and my ohs wishes. i hope i have my baby when thay go on holiday at the end of august for 2 weeks at least it will give me and my oh time to get selted with our new baby.xx

 

[Memphis]

I am currently trying to figure all this out aswell. Both mine and my husbands parents don't live in the same city as us and I know my parents are currently trying to organize when they are coming (they have to get a house/pet sitter). I am due Sept 12th and thinking about telling them to plan on coming no sooner than the 15th but not sure on this. I feel like I may want a few days for just my husband, baby and I but understand with the grandparents being out of town they have to plan.....

The only rule I KNOW I am putting into effect is that when we are at home and people come over to see the baby they must spend a minimum 2 full minutes acknowledging our dog first. I want her to realize she isn't being replaced and still gets love!

 

[kfarb]

I am currently trying to figure all this out aswell. Both mine and my husbands parents don't live in the same city as us and I know my parents are currently trying to organize when they are coming (they have to get a house/pet sitter). I am due Sept 12th and thinking about telling them to plan on coming no sooner than the 15th but not sure on this. I feel like I may want a few days for just my husband, baby and I but understand with the grandparents being out of town they have to plan.....

The only rule I KNOW I am putting into effect is that when we are at home and people come over to see the baby they must spend a minimum 2 full minutes acknowledging our dog first. I want her to realize she isn't being replaced and still gets love!

LOL, I LOVE that! I only have kitties, so I don't really need to worry about that. Well, maybe I'll make them pay attention to my little cat. She's too sweet to be jealous but I don't want her to feel replaced.

I really wish that I could be firm and make no visitor rules. But I'm a pushover. I'd love a few weeks with no visitors, but I don't think that will happen. Maybe I can get them to clean or bring me food at least, lol.

 

[Mindy_mini]

Im hoping for a quick discharge - max 24 hrs stay.

I have decided my mum and dad and the in laws can visit PROVIDING hubby and I have had a good few hours with our LO first.

In terms of friends, theres only one who I'd really want to see me in hospital and another two who i'd want at the house in the days after the birth (upto about a week)

I've decided im not telling the parents when I go into labour as my mum has this idea that she will wait in the waiting area.... URM NO MOTHER, YOU WONT!!!!

 

[Bumber]

Great thread! I was checking out all your posts for inspiration.

With our twins we have decided that on day one/two it will be parents only. DH will then be in touch with the sisters, best friends etc if we feel ready to see others. We also have the fun of my FIL having left the MIL last year for another woman and he gpes nowhere without her. Not really appropriate for when our girls are born as we dont know her and I dont want my DH upset or his mum. Its our day with our girls not one for family rubbish!

When we are home it will be whens convenient for us and the babies. And not on masse either.

And def no ringing anyone when I go into labour!!! x

 

[pinkandfluffy]

Likewise agree it is an interesting thread to read through!

I have a problem in that my SIL is over from Australia - she booked the trip before we got pregnant. Obviously thats not a problem in itself I am really looking forward to seeing her

But if bubs is born before she leaves, I really want her to be able to spend plenty of time with us (at the moment ) But I imagine once bubs is born I may be a bit protective or greedy of him.

I am just planning to 'wing it' basically and see how I feel and let DH be the enforcer of any visiting rules at the time - but definitely friends/any family other than our parents/siblings are going to have to wait. Which is easily enough done as most live a good hour or so away and would need to ring first

 

[daniellelk]

While i'm in hospital it will just be my parents and my OH's parents, IF I cant get around it.
If it wasn't for my mum saying she was going to be waiting in the hospital while I was in labour, then it would just be my OH allowed in.
When I come out of hospital, I don't want any visitors at home, door's will be locked, back gate locked so we can go on our back's and front curtains shut, and the key left in the door's so no-one like my mum can let them self's in.
Will be invite only to our house, I know they are grandparents and our brother's uncle's but I want me and my OH and the baby to have time on our own.
Anyone else (our auntie's + uncle's, "friends" etc) won't get to see him until he's a few week's old, and that's if I go to there's OR they are invited to mine.

 

[Jetters]

I also don't want to have to get dressed, or entertain people, or run off to another room in my own house to breastfeed.

I would NEVER do that anyway... anyone who knows me well enough to come over can cope with seeing my boobs!


I want family only for the first few weeks, and best friend- that's it. Mainly because I want to maximise bonding and I know how fast those precious first few weeks go. The OH goes back to work after one week though, so I will allow friends around after a few weeks to keep me company in the daytimes

Oh and i've also made a mental note not to say my usual polite "no thanks" when someone says "can I bring something?". If they offer, i'll say YES, bring food/drinks/whatever I need, or i'll say no but you can wash up when you get here

 

[Hoolie]

No rules here. First time round it was lovely to see everyone and the joy a new born brings.

Alex

 

[emmadaisy]

My problem is my dad and 2 of my sisters live in cyprus, and they are coming over on the 11th of august and Im due 1st august, now Im not saying noone can see him till hes over but and heres where it gets complicated!!!
my dad remarried and had my younger sister now i know she is so excited to see her nephew and Im excited for her to see him but she will come with her mum and I dont want her seeing him before my dad (ex step mum, not sister!!!) but dont know how or what to say to my sister so we dont fall out x

 

[helen1234]

I found it best people come to hosp, it's between a certain time and I sat with Rhys in my arms so no one asked to hold him anyway, and I said before hand no pass the parcel as babies can have bit of a headache after birth its a big ordeal too, I didn't gatany visitors for 3 days most people came at the wknd, he was asleepib his crib and no one askedto diaturb him, tbh I would have invited the world round I was proud to show him off, I was glad tohave visitors while oh was on pat leave cos he made the cups of tea,

 

[samface182]

im not making rules. if people want to come see my LO, they can do so as long as they phone or text first. i dont want to have strict 'rules' on it
xx