Waiting for #1 to grow before planting #2

[alliec]

We are! Our son will be 2.5 in a few days and we will start TTC on my next cycle. If we conceive on our first try, DS will be just over 3 when #2 is born.

Prior to having kids, I thought that I'd like a 1-2 year gap. After the first week of my son's life, I decided he would be an only child. We finally settled on a preferred minimum gap of 3 years. I need Clomid to conceive so there wasn't much of a chance for an earlier "oops!"

I far prefer my son as toddler than as a newborn, so I'm glad that I get to just focus on him right now instead of dealing with another baby. Once a new baby arrives, DS will be in school/heading off to school, making friends, and building a life outside the home.

Some people are very good at being a parent to many young children at one time. I am so not one of those people! I think that being a parent to an older child who is independent and exploring and learning about the world around him will make me a better parent to #2. At least, that's the plan!

 

[CaliDreaming]

A 3ish year gap is a very manageable gap and has many advantages. 3 is right at the age where kids are starting to want more independence and they are old enough to be excited about a new sibling. That is the best feeling when your LO is as happy as you are about a new baby.

There is a 3 yr 3 mo gap between my children. I had originally wanted 2 under 2, but it ended up taking us 2 years to conceive due to fertility problems. The 3 year gap worked so well I'm intentionally aiming for a 3 year gap with #3.

My dd#1 was also a very high strung baby/toddler so giving her a year to mature made a huge difference in being able to manage both of them. By 3, dd was old enough for the most part to where she understood she had to wait until I tended to the baby's needs until I could see about hers. I also like it because I can give more individual attention to each, but they are still close enough in age to where they can play and have the same interests. Both dh and I work, so this gap also allows us to spread out daycare costs a bit since one kid will be preparing to enter school while the other is still in daycare.

 

[alliec]

A 3ish year gap is a very manageable gap and has many advantages. 3 is right at the age where kids are starting to want more independence and they are old enough to be excited about a new sibling. That is the best feeling when your LO is as happy as you are about a new baby.

There is a 3 yr 3 mo gap between my children. I had originally wanted 2 under 2, but it ended up taking us 2 years to conceive due to fertility problems. The 3 year gap worked so well I'm intentionally aiming for a 3 year gap with #3.

My dd#1 was also a very high strung baby/toddler so giving her a year to mature made a huge difference in being able to manage both of them. By 3, dd was old enough for the most part to where she understood she had to wait until I tended to the baby's needs until I could see about hers. I also like it because I can give more individual attention to each, but they are still close enough in age to where they can play and have the same interests. Both dh and I work, so this gap also allows us to spread out daycare costs a bit since one kid will be preparing to enter school while the other is still in daycare.

It's great to hear that you've found the 3 year age gap to be a good fit for your family! I love hearing stories from parents who have 3-5 year age gaps. I'm very optimistic about it being a good fit for us as well.

My son is a stubborn and opinionated little soul but each day he shows signs of greater understanding and patience (we practice with our dogs A LOT ) I know 3 year olds can still be a trial but I think he'll do well.

 

[CaliDreaming]

A 3ish year gap is a very manageable gap and has many advantages. 3 is right at the age where kids are starting to want more independence and they are old enough to be excited about a new sibling. That is the best feeling when your LO is as happy as you are about a new baby.

There is a 3 yr 3 mo gap between my children. I had originally wanted 2 under 2, but it ended up taking us 2 years to conceive due to fertility problems. The 3 year gap worked so well I'm intentionally aiming for a 3 year gap with #3.

My dd#1 was also a very high strung baby/toddler so giving her a year to mature made a huge difference in being able to manage both of them. By 3, dd was old enough for the most part to where she understood she had to wait until I tended to the baby's needs until I could see about hers. I also like it because I can give more individual attention to each, but they are still close enough in age to where they can play and have the same interests. Both dh and I work, so this gap also allows us to spread out daycare costs a bit since one kid will be preparing to enter school while the other is still in daycare.

It's great to hear that you've found the 3 year age gap to be a good fit for your family! I love hearing stories from parents who have 3-5 year age gaps. I'm very optimistic about it being a good fit for us as well.

My son is a stubborn and opinionated little soul but each day he shows signs of greater understanding and patience (we practice with our dogs A LOT ) I know 3 year olds can still be a trial but I think he'll do well.

AllieC, it does seems the bigger the gap, the easier it is on the parents because you don't have to be as hands-on with an older child. Two of my aunts had their children with 5 year gaps and they had a very easy time of it. My cousins are very close too despite the gap.

The only down side to a larger gap for me has been that it's hard being thrust back into the baby stages after you've had a taste of "normal" life again.

 

[KylasBaby]

^^ that's exactly why we're doing it sooner rather than later. I know once we are out of the bad sleep and neediness I'll never want to go back in! So need to do it before I change my mind