I'm really sorry this may be a bit long but I can guess that you wont have read one like it before. The Short life of my boys Harris and Hamish.
So last October I found myself with my head down the toilet most of the day. (No ladies their was no alcohol involved!
) And stupidly I never once thought i could be pregnant. (Even though we dont use anything). I was diagnosed with PCOS so I presumed it just wouldnt happen for us. My boobs where sensitive and i was very very tired! But no i didnt think it was....
We left the little island where we stay to go buy ourselves a little puppy! Little poppy. Great working dog. But I felt sick every time she was about. A couple of days later I confided in a friend... told her how i was feeling and her immediate response was a pregnancy test. So told to wait to test until the fmu. So i went to bed convinced that she was wrong and it would be
. Woke up a 6 the next morning to visit the ladies... nearly forgot... but remembered just in time. Piddled on the stick and walked away and forgot about it. Went back an hour later for another piddle and glanced at the little stick and i nearly died. Bright Bright Blue positive. Total shock ! OH was in complete shock... friend wasnt.
However after about an hour the shock was gone and OH and I where delighted, over the moon, couldnt be happier!!!!!!
So i'l skip the boring bit in between and cut to the next bit.
At nine weeks I had some pains in my side so the hospital called me up for a scan. At there was my bouncing baby.... Everything was perfect nothing wrong!! Sent home delighted with an appointment for a 12 week scan!
12 week scan came and i was a tad nervous .. i was convinced that if i got passed this scan then everything would be perfect and we would definitely be going home with a bouncing little baby. So i lay on the bed and the lady begins to do her job. Checking measurements etc... then she stops looks at me and OH and back to the screen! My mind was on overdrive!! SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH MY BABY!!!
She goes away and comes back with a consultant. Who does a quick check over and pipes up. Well from your previous report (9week scan) there was one baby. This scan is showing two. Congratulations twins!... Well you could imagine the shock!!! He also noticed however that there was no membrane between the twins and he was worried about this because that can cause lots of problems.
ANYWAY ... He called us back two weeks later for another scan. At this scan he seen that Hamish had passed away!!
. No heart beat my little surprise had lost his fight. . He had never seen this before so sent me away to come back the following week with a referral to a specialist.
During this time i was admitted into the hospital as i had severe hyperemisis. After being in hospital i finally got out and managed to see the specialist who then was able to tell me something! My boys where monochronic monoamniotic twins. (I had to google this to understand it fully) Shortened version is that if my egg had split one day later by boys would have been conjoined twins. They where very very very identical.
When Hamish passed away Harris grew a vein through the after birth and into Hamish, supplying him with blood, allowing him to continue growing without a heartbeat. Although he was never the exact same size as Harris he grew more than he should have. My boys where TRAP twins (Twin, Reversed, Arterial Perfusion). Very dangerous as the larger Hamish grew the more strain it put on Harris's heart! (circulating blood through his own body and his brothers).
We were devastated. I had no hope what so ever. Specialists plan was to cut the vein between the twins too allow Harris to grow and be as healthy as possible. first they had to find where the vein was. I had to attend weekly scans to see if the vein could be seen.
We went up for our final scan and i honestly felt different that morning. I felt them move really early. But this one morning i felt "still". But i thought that Harris was just having a rest... until i seen the scan. It was dark. And he wasnt showing off like he usually did. I knew instantly that he had gone.
*** Im going to have to give this bit a miss ladies. I cant just now From here i still find it too difficult. ***
I had to carry my boys for another 5 days (I didnt want to ever give them up) and on the Friday I went through full labour and met my precious little angels! Couldnt believe how much they looked like my OH ! soo much!!!
So sorry for the brief look into my journey. And sorry for this post being so long. I know the type of pregnancy i had is confusing. Trust me no one could have been more than I was. But im all clued up so please feel free to ask me anything. (Except my feelings at that time).
Thank you for persevering.
xxx
