I guess it's time to share what happened this week with my coworker who told me she miscarried.
She shares. A LOT. More than she should sometimes. Nosy people are like that sometimes. Around June she told me that she needs to have some kind of procedure for removing a cyst, or something like that, and that she was a bit bummed out because she's older (34) and they wanted to start trying soon, and it would delay the TTC for a few months.
I breathed a big sigh of relief that I wouldn't need to hear a pregnancy announcement from her in the near future.
She knew of my MC and I often came to her when I needed to vent about my pregnant coworker.
This week she called me over and told me she needed a D&C because apparently she had a blighted ovum. She hadn't gotten AF since the procedure. So they weren't really trying. I was shocked and tried to comfort her, but she was really OK with it and was smiling and even told me that it's something she'll probably laugh about later on when she has live children. I was, again, in shock at how light she was taking it. But whatever.
The next day we talked again and she said she was going to a specialist and he said he'd probably give her something for relaxation of the cervix or whatever and I told her I took cytotec the day of and she said, yes, I know I already took it before, I had an abortion when I first met my husband. I was in total SHOCK. I did not need to know that. There are some things you do not need to share. Especially if you know how much I want a child and know what I've been through. Yes, I feel bad your pregnancy ended, but... I don't know. I just didn't need or want to know that. She explained how she just met him, bla bla. It also pissed me off that she got pregnant that easily, but now I get why she's so laid back about it. Oh, it's OK, we'll just try again. it happened so easily the first times, without even trying, when we try, we won't even need to try.
After she came back, I heard her in the office next to me, with the other girls. I heard her tell them what happened and they talked about it, and she along with them was laughing "yes, it's no big deal, I got it over with" I was shaking so much.
I feel like my emotions, and the way I took my MC were belittled by the lightness, and jokingly matter she was taking it. Like I over reacted by crying and being sad. I just ran out of my office into another girls room and sat with them until I heard her leave. I know everyone reacts differently, but it annoyed me that she just announced it in front of everyone, like someone would announce they removed a mole.
She later came in and told me she wanted to talk with me, but first "I'm going out to smoke because now I
finally can"
I told DH and he said she might just be in denial. I don't know, it's not nothing, it was life. I just feel like I was made a fool because I'm still hurting, and here she is showing, strength? maybe that's how others see it? oh wow, she's so strong for taking it well?
Later on she also told me how common she found it was, and there's no reason why #2 shouldn't be healthy and she heard so many success stories about #2. And I was sitting there like, you know I had 2 MC, how can you seriously tell me there's no reason the second one should also be OK. Which I technically know is true, it just pissed me off she was saying this to me.
I'm still unsure of how to act towards her right now. I'm all confused with my feelings. I am supportive and will be there for her, I just disagree with how she dealt with it. I just feel as if others now see me as so little and weak compared to her.
Wow, that was long, sorry for the long vent
