Want to be a SAHM, but also want a career.

[MamaByrd]

I always thought I'd want to be around 30 when I started having children. Maybe, it was the constant harassment of my mother telling me I'm too young (I'm 24). But today, I encountered a serious epiphany. Personally, I want, nay need to be a SAHM. It was something that I lacked as a child and something I really want for my kiddos, at least until they're school age.

On the flip side, I'm finishing out college and hoping to go for my Doctorate and become a physical therapist which will take another 5ish years.

My question is: Would it be harder to start my career, take 5-10 years off to raise babies, then try and go back to work when I'm around 45 or; finish up school, immediately stay home, and hope to go back to work when I'm around 35, but having taken 10 years off from getting my degree?

Any answers would be much appreciated. OH and I are literally trying to plan out our lives according to this decision. Thanks!

 

[skycastles]

Hello...
I want to be a SAHM for a few years too. My personal take on this is that even after I have my first child, I'd like to work for a few months or half a year just so that I have confidence in rejoining the workforce years down the road, since I will have experienced a bit of what is like to be a working mom.
I feel it's quite critical to first experience fully what the working lifestyle is like in my chosen field of work... As we grow older, most people become more and more scared of the unknown, especially if they have more responsibilities to shoulder.
However, it really depends on your personal situation and honestly also on luck

 

[aimee-lou]

There is no way you can plan 100% so a bit of fluidity may be needed. Going from your post 2 things stood out.......1 is your chosen career path. Would you be able to do physical therapy at 50+? If its important to you to use your line if work bear in mind that average retirement age is now 67 and is set to rise. You have plenty of working years left whichever path you choose. Just bear inind your physical capabilities.

Second is I've been a working mum and a sahm. I would love to have a career that i could work at part time but unfortunately i need to retrain so that will take time. Don't rule out a balance. If you have a career you love, working around the children could be good for everyone.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I had also planned to start having children around 30... made it to 26. I had also planned to go back to work and keep my career going at the same time... couldn't stand to be away from her all day, so I left. So I wouldn't set anything in stone!

Your degree is something that never goes away, so that's a positive. Even if it's just collecting dust while you chase your toddlers around, like mine is right now. I'd think it would be easier to wait to finish the higher education and start that path after you're done being a SAHM, just so you're up-to-date. If you really wanted to get the additional education out of the way now, is there any volunteer/part-time/online opportunities you could pursue to keep your resume active while you're mainly home?

I have to say: I have zero regrets going the SAHM route. There will always be work, but my child(ren) will only be so young for so long. Not all women are cut out for it, but it's given me an opportunity to learn a new field (Medical Coding/Billing) and I do some work online for a couple hundred dollars a month, so I feel like I have a good balance. Definitely never bored!

 

[MommyJogger]

I think that's something you need to ask mothers in your specific career. Or even a career counselor at your university. I know for my field (and we made the mistake of doing things in the wrong order), it would have made the most sense to have kids and then do all the degrees and career. Next best would have been to do undergrad, have kids, do grad school, and then start the career, but that's because grad school+post doc+career are all pretty fluid and your work from one can feed into the rest. If your field is one where your grad degree is closer to a certification showing you're qualified, you might be okay getting the graduate degree and then having kids. PT schools are pretty competitive from my understanding. You might not be able to get into one right after a 10 year gap. Just the thoughts that came to my mind reading your post. Good luck! It's scary knowing you've put so many years into something and they might not be worth anything once your kids are school age. I'll probably just end up going back to school (again) once the kids are more ready to be without mama.

 

[stellababy]

start your career now. there is always an option to leave to be a SAHM after you have kids.

just as a previous post said, for me the best is working part time. this way you get a lot of time with your kids, and get to make some $, and remain relevant in your field of work.

 

[butterbaby]

I've come back and forth to this post as I don't really like to give advice on topics that are very individual but wth, here's my take on it:

What if you are a SAHM after you have finished your schooling and then decide you don't want to return to work or at least that line of work? Then you will have spent a lot of time and money on education you didn't really need. Now that's not to say education isn't important, but I imagine you probably already have some under your belt which will be helpful if/when you do return to the workforce. Also, to return to finish your education shows a dedicated interest which would probably be attractive to schools/employers. People are very understanding of the need to focus on family and can respect that. Plus, if you go back to school right before you start working then you'll have the most current knowledge to ease your transition into the workforce. Another point, grad degrees can often be done part-time which could be done with small children or once they are in school.

I read an article recently (forget where, sorry) that pointed out that your 20s are easiest on your body to have children if your life is stable enough for it. It also said most people don't advance in their careers until their 30s or 40s. So basically the article suggested you may as well have kids while it's physically easier and then advance your career later just as others in your cohort would be.

Now that I write this out I realize these are basically things I've thought about while planning my future. I'm a nurse and finished my degree a few years ago. I debated returning to do my masters but decided I'd wait and see how I feel once I have kids.

Sorry to ramble but hope that helps a bit.

 

[funinthesun]

If you finish all your education, say in 5 years, then immediately take time off to have children and be a SAHM for 5 years or so, I think it would be difficult to get into work after that. By that time you might have lost contacts in your industry and you would be in a different mindset from having children. Plus you wouldn't have had much work experience by then which would make it harder to apply for jobs.

It makes most sense to me to start having children now and then go back to your education after that if you are still keen on becoming a physical therapist.

The other thing you could do is maybe finish all your education, get a job and then take a long maternity leave with each child and keep working part time in between children. I think this is something to keep in mind because you may find that it's a good balance.

I totally understand the wanting a career as I'm the same.

 

[MamaByrd]

Thank you soooo much everyone for the replies. We've talked and we agree with y'all. Here's to TTC in 2016!

 

[Otterpup]

I've heard for some careers, it can work well to TTC during doctorate work. Might draw it out a bit longer, but by the time you are ready to start your career, the kiddo could be starting school.

 

[kksy9b]

Thank you soooo much everyone for the replies. We've talked and we agree with y'all. Here's to TTC in 2016!

yay kaylee!! hopefully we can be bump buddies!!!

 

[Angel_blues]

That's good you know where you're heading! I don't think I'll be able to decide what to do until the day comes where I would have to choose! Like is Sunday night and Monday I have to go to work type situation lol