We just got back bad sperm analysis feeling hopeless.

[SomedayMaybe1]

I was hoping I could join you ladies.... We have been TTC for 8 years. It seems as though everyone around me is getting pregnant with such ease and facebook is the worst I feel like all I see are baby announcements. Not that I am not happy for others but I guess I am being selfish when I feel sad for myself.
It is soo hard to not be negative at this point
I have had tests and scans done all came back good. My Dr. put me on Metformin which I started taking on Jan 1 and I have eliminated alcohol altogether.
My DH had his SA done 11/16/13 and came back with not great results:
Concentration: 17.3
Motility: 55%
Morphology: 16% normal with significant presence of amorphous heads, and neck defects observed
with elevated round cells observed (which I am not even sure what that means )
DH also has Blood work done which all came back in the "normal" range.
I am figuring that we will just keep on trying for the next 6 months and then make the hard decisions then as our insurance does not cover anything that infertility related...
I guess really I am looking for a place where people have an understanding of what I am going through.

 

[CaliDreaming]

SomedayMaybe--Sorry about your hubby's SA. However those results really are not so bad in the scheme of things. My hubby's was even worse than yours esp in the motility and morphology departments.

I'm not sure what they meant by round cells either, unless they're talking about white blood cells. That can be a symptom of a prostate or other infection which can be easily remedied with antibiotics. The head and neck damage might be improved with supplements.

Also, my insurance did not cover infertility either, but usually they have to cover anything relating to the diagnosis of a problem. Some problems need to be addressed whether or not a person is trying to have a child so you can get a lot of stuff covered that way. Doctors are usually good about coding it the right way so that it gets covered. Mine paid for a lot more than I thought it would.

Everyone feels depressed at the beginning of testing but it does get better. You have a lot of reason to feel hopeful.

 

[SomedayMaybe1]

Thanks CaliDreaming I find myself getting frustrated with every pregnancy announcement especially when people brag after one month of trying... As for insurance many of my claims have been denied even the blood tests because they were "fertility" related I had to fight just to get them to cover my DH's reg Doc appt just to read us the blood test results... I am really going to try and stress less about it this year and go with the thinking that everything happens for a reason I am just glad I was able to find these message boards

 

[PinkDragonfly]

Hi ladies, mind if I join you?

We haven't been trying for as long as some of you (one year), but we've got our second infertility consultant appointment today.

I'm 29 (until March) and have had all manner of blood tests and a hycosy and all results have been good.

Hubby is 30, fit and healthy with a much better diet than mine... But his first semen analysis results were awful. Sperm count was 4.0, forward progression 5%. They couldn't test for morphology because of the low count.

We've got our second appointment today and we'll get the results of his second analysis then and hopefully find out what our next step is. Last time, our consultant said icsi was our most likely option, but obviously had to wait for the second semen analysis because they can change so much.

It's very difficult. We waited 7 years to start trying because hubby wasn't ready. We never thought we'd have trouble getting pregnant and when we started to realise that we were, is as convinced I was the problem. It never occurred to us that it would be a problem with him. I'm devestated at the thought of not being a mum, but he's devestated at the thought that he's let me down and he blames himself, so I feel like I can't talk to him about how I feel without making him feel worse

You're right. It's a very lonely situation to be in. Especially when everyone around you is having babies.

This situation changed my entire life. I was a student midwife until we realised how difficult things were going to be for us. I quit my training because I couldn't bring myself to deliver even one more baby. When I left the office I'd been working in for 9 years, I told myself I'd never go back to an office job, but that's exactly what I've done, because I just couldn't continue with my training. I'm sure lots of women would have stuck with it. One of my mentors shared with me that she had fertility problems throughout her training and eventually had her son through ivf after she qualified. She's much stronger than I am.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Pinkdragon,

 

[SomedayMaybe1]

Pinkdragonfly - I know the feeling of the blame game, my DH now feels he is the one responsible which then adds more stress to an already VERY stressful situation. I am pretty sure I would not be able to continue working to help others deliver babies either. You have to take control of what you can!
to all the hopefuls

 

[Emmi]

Gosh Ladies - it's all hard.....At 42 - I need supersonic sperm to hit the jackpot and I guess hubby's sperm can be okay but can also be far too slow. Sometimes I get really angry and frustrated by it (never say anything to him as that would really hurt him!) I think the frustration and exhaustion from it all really gets to me.

I live near a primary school and near a park and babies and toddlers is all I see - some days I just want to cry......So I totally understand the whole not wanting to be a midwife - putting yourself in painful situations is not a good idea....

 

[PinkDragonfly]

Thanks ladies x

Well, our appointment today wasn't great. Hubby's second semen analysis was even worse than the first sperm count was less than 1 million this time

It's just so awful he's been doing everything right - taking vitamins, cut out all alcohol, eating a better diet, regular exercise... And it's worse, not better

Now he's got to have blood tests and chromosome tests and then our next appointment is in 2 months. Our consultant thinks it'll be about 6 months before we're referred for icsi.

Feeling rubbish now

 

[ToughhGal]

Pinkdragon, have you and your spouse ever considered fertilaid?

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

So sorry to hear that Pinkdragonfly. It's hard enough getting the news that the SA is bad but when you have been working so hard to improve it and it gets worse it's just heartbreaking. I hope you get some good news soon and a new direction. I find one of the most frustrating things with dealing with men and their sperm is that everything takes SO long - esp. since it takes 3 months for new sperm to be made and mature and have any changes etc.... One thing to remember though is that SA's can change from day to day so fingers crossed that day was just a really bad day and that 3 months before the day of the test he was sick or something?! I"m sorry that's not much help but I do understand.

 

[PinkDragonfly]

Thanks ladies. We're trying to stay positive, but it's difficult

We have thought about fertilaid, but it's quite expensive and hubby hates taking pills. He's reluctant to spend money on something that may not work. He's grudgingly taking wellman conception vits, and it ready to quit because they've made no difference

 

[ToughhGal]

I recently saw a video on youtube about how fertilaid made the news.

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I have my hubby on Fertilaid and I'm sure he will be sent for another SA once he sees the urologist so I'll let you know if there is any change or improvement since taking it. TBH I'm not expecting anything as my DH sounds the same as yours....he is only taking 2 a day instead of the recommended 3 and I suspect he's maybe even cut down to 1 a day. He's been complaining it's made his skin breakout (which I was hoping was a good thing as perhaps a sign of hormones changing?!?) and at times says it upsets his stomach etc..... Anyway if there has been any improvement I'll certainly let you know!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Thanks ladies. We're trying to stay positive, but it's difficult

We have thought about fertilaid, but it's quite expensive and hubby hates taking pills. He's reluctant to spend money on something that may not work. He's grudgingly taking wellman conception vits, and it ready to quit because they've made no difference

I think Wellman and fertilaid have the same ingredients in them so no need to switch. Hopefully you'll get some better news at the next appointment in two months.

 

[ToughhGal]

Me and OH are still discussing buying the value pack, a couple months worth. We may still need to discuss it further.

 

[PinkDragonfly]

Thanks ladies any fertilaid success (or not) stories would be much appreciated.

I struggling a bit this morning. I had a dream that I had a baby, which isn't unusual... But my husband wasn't in the dream. I had a baby because I was with someone else. And now I'm in a foul mood, because it's true! I most likely would be a mum if I was with someone else and I feel awful for even thinking it! Not thinking that I should be with someone else, because I love my husband and wouldn't swap him for anything in the world, but merely the thought of acknowledging that I could get pregnant if I had met and married someone other than my husband makes me feel like an epic bitch. Which is daft, right? I mean, it's true. It's no different than saying "I'd have a different surname if I married someone else", but it feels like it's this huge secret that I can't say out loud, because if I said to my husband "I'd have a different surname I'd married someone else", he'd probably laugh at me and think nothing of it. But if I said to him "I could be a mum if I'd married someone else", it would change everything

Sorry. I've rambled on enough. What I really want to do is stuff my face with chocolate and pretend it makes me feel better, but I'm on a diet to keep my bmi below 29 for ivf so I can't even do that!!

 

[ToughhGal]

Me and OH just ordered the fertilaid. Now im thinking, did we do the right thing? What if it doesnt even work for me? Oh boy lol. What have I done?

pinkdragon, do not feel bad as you know that your husband is your only. Most my dreams go the complete opposite so maybe its secretly your husband who will make a great comeback! We each have our own way of addressing problems and coping.

 

[Emmi]

Thanks ladies any fertilaid success (or not) stories would be much appreciated.

I struggling a bit this morning. I had a dream that I had a baby, which isn't unusual... But my husband wasn't in the dream. I had a baby because I was with someone else. And now I'm in a foul mood, because it's true! I most likely would be a mum if I was with someone else and I feel awful for even thinking it! Not thinking that I should be with someone else, because I love my husband and wouldn't swap him for anything in the world, but merely the thought of acknowledging that I could get pregnant if I had met and married someone other than my husband makes me feel like an epic bitch. Which is daft, right? I mean, it's true. It's no different than saying "I'd have a different surname if I married someone else", but it feels like it's this huge secret that I can't say out loud, because if I said to my husband "I'd have a different surname I'd married someone else", he'd probably laugh at me and think nothing of it. But if I said to him "I could be a mum if I'd married someone else", it would change everything

Sorry. I've rambled on enough. What I really want to do is stuff my face with chocolate and pretend it makes me feel better, but I'm on a diet to keep my bmi below 29 for ivf so I can't even do that!!

I hear you! I love my hubby with all my heart but would I be pregnant if I was with someone else?? I think it's natural to analyse things which can manifest in dreams - I often dream I am with my ex......Maybe my mind is wondering if I had stayed with him, I would be pregnant by now......

And I love chocolate!! But am keeping my BMI below the number for IVF if we have it again so it's all about keeping healthy etc!!!! All so hard!!!!

 

[PinkDragonfly]

Oh ladies, I had such a horrible day today

I started a new job in November after deciding I couldn't carry on with my midwifery training. When I started, my new supervisor joked that there were a couple of pregnant ladies in the office that might require my services... The company is huge and there are hundreds of people employed there, so I didn't think much of it... Until I realised that these two pregnant ladies are in my team!

I've tried to just not look at their lovely baby bumps and avoid conversations about their pregnancies, but today another girl in my team announced her pregnancy and she sits right next to me!!

I was holding it together until one of the other girls asked if it was planned and she replied "oh yes! It happened much more quickly than we expected!"

I know I shouldn't let it upset me, because at least it's not another of them "I was on the pill and only had sex once that month and fell pregnant" stories that make me want to throw myself off the nearest roof, but she only tried for one month!

I cried. I went into the toilets and cried. Only one person at work knows about my situation, and I only told her because we started at the same time and she mentioned that her daughter was an ivf baby (people tend to open up about their experiences when they hear I was a student midwife) and I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to. But she wasn't in today, so I felt so alone and didn't think I'd survive the day!

Obviously, I did, but I'm dreading work tomorrow now

And I'm reading The Complete Guide to IVF, which is great in some respects, because I didn't really know much about it before and I'm one of those people who likes to know... But now I realise how many times during a cycle it can go wrong and I feel like it's a wonder anyone ends up pregnant at the end of it!!

And I haven't idea how I'm going to fit it all in without telling work. If it all happens when our consultant thinks it will, it will be right in the middle of when all 3 girls are on maternity leave, so taking time off will be difficult

I'm stressing myself out over something that is months away, but I can't help it

 

[SomedayMaybe1]

Pinkdragonfly- I am so sorry that you are feeling so down That is a terrible situation to be in at work ... I don't know if I would have been able to remain at work after that ~ you are much stronger than I!! But i do know one thing - do not stress your self out about taking time of work and how it may disrupt everone else's schedule. You neeed to focus on you I hope that today is a better day for you!