Wedding dilemma

[Willow82]

So one of my best friends is getting married on Saturday. We have the option of going child free but seeing as there will be a lot of old uni friends there with their children who haven't seen ours for a long time or ever in the case of the youngest, we thought it would nice to take them.

However, I'm beginning to wonder whether to leave my 5 year old (DS) with my parents. My parents have very kindly agreed to visit so we can hand them over in the early evening allowing us to stay for the disco. I guess if we only took the youngest (DD), DS can have a nice afternoon with his grandparents.

I feel really guilty though about only taking DD! It would make things a lot easier for us especially as OH has to look after both of them during the ceremony as I am on wedding duties. The last wedding we went to he ran out and we missed half of the ceremony! My friend is making a big effort to make it easier and has arranged a little play area for the children during the ceremony but I don't know whether it would make any difference as to his behaviour. There will also be a kids disco prior to the main one but he doesn't like dancing and in all likelihood will not want to participate. He has also said he doesn't want to go.

I know it makes a lot of sense to not take him but a part of the reason we wanted to take them both was so we can show off our little family to friends that are used to seeing only me and OH when we meet up and have childcare in place etc. so I do feel a bit torn about what to do.

Any advice appreciated!

 

[loeylo]

When we have been to weddings since having our dd, who is nearly 2, we have always had family members take her somewhere until after the meal, then bring her along for an hour or so of the evening do, then take her away by about 9pm. I would fondness keeping her quiet during the "boring" bits difficult, as they don't really understand if that makes sense. She would actually be great at the meal, but by having her dropped off after the meal it means that she isn't covered in her dinner!
She's going to her first "all day" wedding in November and there will be nobody to collect her or drop her off until halfway through the evening do, I'm quite nervous as she's going to be the only kid there, apart from a baby under 1. I've been specifically told that they actually want her there though and aren't just inviting her to be nice.

In your situation I'd probably leave both kids, especially if your oldest isn't going to enjoy it (my dd loves a dance floor which is the only reason we take her)

 

[CaptainMummy]

If your eldest has said he doesn't want to go, then I wouldn't take him. Don't feel guilty about it either because he has had a say and going off what you said, he probably wouldn't even enjoy the wedding.
If it were me, I'd not take either so you are able to enjoy the day, stress free. You could always arrange a meet up at a different time, that would enable you all to get together with the kids

 

[MindUtopia]

I would opt to go child free as you are in the wedding and at least for us, that would be a rare treat as we don't have family or anyone around who could help with childcare. But if you really do want to take them, then I would take whoever wants to go. I don't think there's any point taking your ds if he truly doesn't want to go. What does your husband want to do? He'll be the one doing much of the childcare I suspect so I would go with whatever he would prefer to do. I know mine would jump at the chance to go alone, but if he wants to take your daughter, then I would opt for that.

 

[Willow82]

Thanks for your responses. We've decided to leave DS at home with my parents as he is adamant he doesn't want to go. It would be very tempting to leave both of them but I think DD will enjoy it and my parents find it difficult with both of them, so DS would just end up watching tv all day if she was at home as well.