Weird!

[Jen1802]

I was just wondering if anyone else has found this as well with having a preemie? My second daughter was born at 26 weeks plus 4 gestation on 18th September 2011. She's still in hospital but has been progressing well and has been moved in the last week from NICU to SCBU. She has stage 1 ROP which they will monitor, reflux and frequent apnea and bradycardia spells. We also found out last week that she has a bicuspid aortic valve rather than a tricuspid and she is still requiring low flow because of frequent desats relating to apnea periods. The only way I can sum up everything that has happened in the past 6 weeks is its just weird! With my first daughter everyone was wishing us congratulations and we were inundated with visitors, cards, gifts etc as soon as we came home. This time round though its as if people have kind of forgotten we've even had another child...I know that's not the reality but aside from a few friends and family we've not had anyone over to visit to check if we're ok, we very rarely heard congratulations, it was more along the lines off oh my god and the odd congratulations retrospectively... With cards and gifts I can literally count on one hand the number we have received, everything is just so different from the typical pregnancy and newborn announcement. I just wondered if anyone else had found this? Maybe because I've something to compare the experience too the contrast just seems more glaringly obvious....but its kind of shitty! xo

 

[Lottie86]

Ah yes it is definitely crap. People don't have a clue what to say so they either totally blank me or say 'she'll be absolutely fine'. When we've been to neighbours parties they have all been fussing over the neighbour who had a baby a few weeks after Iona was born, asking the mum how she is etc and asking loads of questions about the baby etc but the vast majority act like I've not even had a baby and don't ask about her or me or if they do it's more of a forced "I suppose we'd better ask but all we want to hear is Iona's fine/Lottie's fine" question

Everyone in our street are good friends but yet no one has come in to see Iona/me at all other than one half of our next door neon our who kindly dropped off Findlay's medications to us not long after Iona got transferred here. A couple of neighbours asked if they could come in so I said yes not a problem just let me know when and months later they still haven't been so it just feels like no one really cares.

My first was a preemie too and whilst we didn't get that many congrats cards as people weren't sure what to do we got tons compared to the very very few we got for Iona. I've never had a termie to compare but even a mildly poorly preemie (ie just cpap, jaundice etc) and a very poorly preemie causes huge differences in how people react.

My gps are just as bad though as I've still not had my postnatal check done yet (Iona is 19wks old) because they only do them along with doing a check of the baby

Congratulations on your daughter. What is her name? Glad to hear she is progressing well

 

[ermm23a]

I think people feel weird saying congrats when the baby is still in the hospital, you know? I think it would've been weird if I'd gotten a lot of congrats cards while my son was still in the nicu.... We got some cards and plants that said "thinking of you" and "praying he's home with you soon".

It's just hard to know what's appropriate in a preemie situation. I think a lot of people don't really know what to say to us so they say nothing.

 

[25weeker]

I never got any cards or presents until she came home. I was fine with this though because until she was home I probably wouldn't have wanted them incase something happened and she didn't come home.

This was my first pregnancy so I had no experiences to compare it too which is probably why it's strange for you. Sounds like she is doing well.

Congratulations on your little girl xx