Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[Philomena]

Hi all. Sorry I've been 'missing in action' and when I say action, I mean any action. For some reason, over the last few weeks I totally shut down. Emotionally and physically. I completely flat-lined and withdrew from almost everything and everyone. Of course, that was easy to do since my family was out of town, and I was home alone for 8 days, without a vehicle, during sub-zero temps, and in a village that has almost nothing. That will never happen again! I also gained about 3-4 pounds during that time. I've lost 2 of them, though. I was in a total dead funk.

One thing that helped me out of it (and some of my self-pity) was on New Years Day, I was headed up the hill to our gas station to grab something to eat and one of the ladies from our church picked me up and took me to her mother's house. We spent the afternoon playing Skip-Bo and laughing. The mother has lost an eye, a breast, thyroid, and her husband to cancer, and yet she has a cheerful outlook on life. Really made me stop and think.... and be very thankful.

The other thing that helped was I sought out professional help. Last Friday I spent about an hour with a therapist. I came out of the office in a much better frame of mind.

I would like to say that I'm going to go back and catch up on everything, but I think I will just try to pick back up at this point. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year!

-Andra

I'm glad you were able to get back on track! I've been in some dark places before, and good for you for getting help and recognizing that it's ok to get help when you need it!!
Sending you much hugs and love from Chilly Canada!!
phil.

Thanks, Phil. Do you think Babes has decided to make her appearance today?

So far- NO!! just catching up on posts then will fill you all in on my obstetrician consult....

 

[Philomena]

Hey Ladies,

Well, i've finished my days work and in 30 minutes, I'll be popping out to my first Weight Watchers meeting. Here's hoping this is going to work this year. My friend sent me a message earlier about going to Zumba on Thursday, so its on. I just now need to speak to my friend about going swimming Tuesdays and Fridays and I'll be back in the swing onf it.

Bring on 2013, I'm going to get fitter and grow a baby!

The Doctors appointment still seems ages away, its 2 weeks today. I'll also be going to see a Clairvoyant that day. My friend and I have seen her lots of times, we'll be in a room with about 60 others, so have only each received one message. Mine was to get the blood loss checked out. It was about 2 weeks after my miscarriage, so I knew what it was, but she knew about the scars I have from my Gall Bladder surgery and a few other things. She told me the baby was a girl and that she would come back to me in the future. She's really good.

Twotogo, welcome back! Hopefully you're not feeling so alone now, you can always pop on here for a chat, there's usually someone on to talk to.

Ali, your hair looks great. I have to dye mine too, the greys come through quicker and quicker now. As the back of mine is really short now, its left natural, but the greys are showing through there loads too. I may have to change to doing a full head colour, rather than the highlights. There are some good dyes out there now that are very multi-tonal, so maybe I should give something a try, like you say, its much cheaper. The hairdressers I go to are really expensive, but they are good.

Phil, any news yet? My friend had her baby in the early hours of this morning, he came about a week early, but was 8.5 lbs. Her last one came 8 weeks early and was 4.5 lbs, so she seems to make quite big babies. Hopefully today will be the day for you too. xx

Ah, how nice!! a week early! *grin*.... if he was 8.5 lbs a week early he would have been HUGE on time or late!!!

I am currently 40 weeks and 4 days..... *sigh*
Babes hasn't given me any definitive idea as to when she'd like to have a birthday.... So I saw the original obstetrician for another consult today. Her resident came in first, and I forgot how much I didn't like her.... she examined me, because I said I would be ok with a cervical rimming (where they use their fingers to get up in your business and stretch things out to get things going).... HOWEVER I am apparently still closed up- not fully effaced and not dilated AT ALL!!
So she couldn't do it because they need to be able to get their finger into your cervix to do the procedure.... I wasn't too upset by it, just disappointed because I wanted to try and get things going in a naturally kind of way.... I know that it really doesn't matter and some women go from 0 to 100 in a matter of minutes or hours and some (like Coy!) are partially dilated and fully effaced for days or weeks before labour starts!
The thing is though.... she says to me, while shaking her head.... "I don't think you are going to go into labour on your own...."
and mostly because 'emotionally' I'm just ready to have this baby and, really, if possible, I do not want to be medically induced.... I wanted to have a little cry about it..... she left the room and I was feeling horrible....
Then the obstetrician came in and within minutes I remembered why I love her so much.... we had a good chat and she essentially said that she was happy with how healthy the baby is, how healthy I am and that for her, the GD was not a concern.... she was looking at me like a normal person and was fine to let me go for a few more days to see if anything will start on its own... she reassured me that just because I was still closed up didn't really mean anything because she's seen it change on a dime, and that I *could* still go into labour even today.... The thing we needed to discuss was my age in relation to going past my due date.... at 41 years old, and approaching 41 weeks gestation, we didn't have much more time to make a plan in the event that labour didn't start on its own soon.... the risk of stillbirth increases the longer I go, due in part to my age.... this is something I've read other places, too, and really, I'm not comfortable going past, or much past the 41 week mark anyway. So we made a plan for Wednesday, to try a cervical ripening procedure which involves balloons-one fed through a catheter to go on top of my cervix and one which sits right below it... they inflate the balloons which compress the cervix, causing it to efface and dilate.... no hormones, no drugs.... I'm ok with that as a first step.... the Dr said most moms who are not first times moms find that this is enough to kick start their own natural responses and go into labour and sustain it without further interventions.... if that doesn't work, then she will rupture my waters, and if THAT doesn't work, then we can talk about using drugs to get things going.... so the catheter thing gets put in and left for 12-24 hours, and I get to go home while it does it's thing.... if she has to break my waters, then I get another 24 hours grace to go into labour naturally.... So if we start on Wednesday, then, in theory, I WILL have my baby by the weekend!!
Tomorrow is my mom's birthday..... maybe Babes has just been waiting to surprise her Nana???

How is everyone else today?

 

[Grey Eyes]

Phil- I understand you wanting to wait but I also understand you just wanting to meet your baby! I think you have chosen a good path, as long as you are comfortable with it. My doctor did a bit of a "stretch" the day I went into labor. I wa sin his office at 4:30 and told him I was having regularly timed period type cramps so he stretched me a tad and I guess it helped ? Babes was born that day but as you are having contractions off and on I think she will come soon. No harm inhelping her a bit if you need too. HUGE to you!

 

[alicatt]

Yikes! I have a bunch of emergencies at work, and you all get very chatty!

JenSC - good to hear from you! Don't forget you want to 4 days before you get a positive OPK, and 2 days after (every other day). So if you are starting to see the stick darken then you should start having every other day! Also, clomid is not meant to be an every month thing, there is an increased risk of certain cancers for those women using it more than 3-4 months in a row. So you need to get your DH on board and do whatever you need to do to get him to do his part. Some FS's will allow you to go a few months more, but there are studies that show it does increase your risk of ovarian cancer (don't quote me on the type, but I think its ovarian).

Samsfan - glad your uterus is looking good! I would definitely get in to see your endocrinologist to make sure all your levels look good for getting pregnant. Then when you get back to see your FS, you will have to talk with the scheduler to figure out if they can work around your vacation or not. It really depends on what type of ART you do (IUI or IVF) and the protocol. The IVF protocol I was on started with 3 weeks of BCP, then about 10 days of lupron and then the stimulation meds (this is the part that they need to monitor). So you may be able to start an IVF cycle and just time it so the stimulation meds start once you return! Also, with IVF they move your cycle around with the BCP and the lupron so you probably won't be ovulating at the same time when you do your IVF cycle. For example: I got my period on Oct 4th, they put me on BCP starting Oct 7th, I took BCP all the way through until Nov 15th, and overlapped lupron starting on Nov 9th. I didn't actually start the stimulation portion of my cycle until Nov 26th. So my cycle started on Oct 7th but I didn't do the egg retrieval (ER) until Dec 10th! That was unusually long, but with the long lupron protocol it is at least 6 weeks.

Never - what is it with men? They are always so wimpy! I love my man.. he's just hanging out in a little vial waiting for me to need him!

Phil - Oh my still pregnant! I'm learning so much from you and the different things they can do to get things started without using drugs! I love it and will have to remember all of this for when I am pregnant! So maybe she will arrive tomorrow on your Mom's b-day or if not, you're going to get things started on Wednesday! YAY!!

Coy - I am not a lawyer, but I think a hearing sounds way better! I hope it gets settled and the store gets egg on their faces!

AFM - I set my alarm yesterday because I was on call, and I wanted to wake up at 7:55 am to turn on my cell so I wouldn't miss any work calls (but I didn't want to be awakened by them during the night, which is why I had it off). Well when I went to set my alarm last night I forgot it was set to Sat/Sun and not M-F so I woke up at 8:10 on my own and was like why is the sun shining in my eyes! EEK! So I emailed my boss, said I was working from home, and was doing a great job of working until some emergencies occurred, and I was pulled off what I was doing. which isn't too horrible, but the guy that works the late shift had decided to work the normal shift and just be 'on call' if there were issues from 5-7. Well we had over 50 orders die, and he should have been there to fix them, but of course he wasn't so I had to do it. GRR So I'm not in the best mood right now. At least I have eaten and I got my 2 errands run. Still it is 8:30 and I'm just settling down! Other than that, I'm still getting migraines daily. Stupid estrogen levels! That is what is causing the migraines, as your body recovers from the IVF your estrogen levels come back down to normal, but during that time your body has been used to it, and so your head takes the brunt of it

Well ladies.. thanks for letting me rant.. I'm going to watch some TV and go to bed.

 

[Samsfan]

Ali- Thanks for the info... I know no BCP for me. I don't know what drugs they are putting me on, but the nurse said 4 different drugs. The nurse said they would start me at the start of my next cycle. I expect my next cycle around January 28th or so... so I think it may interfere with my fun in the sun in Florida.

Phil- sounds like you have a plan...so excited ..any day now.

Coy- Hearing is always better....evidence rules are much lighter

So wiped from the test. What a journey this is. Feel like but it is too early here

Yikes! I have a bunch of emergencies at work, and you all get very chatty!

JenSC - good to hear from you! Don't forget you want to 4 days before you get a positive OPK, and 2 days after (every other day). So if you are starting to see the stick darken then you should start having every other day! Also, clomid is not meant to be an every month thing, there is an increased risk of certain cancers for those women using it more than 3-4 months in a row. So you need to get your DH on board and do whatever you need to do to get him to do his part. Some FS's will allow you to go a few months more, but there are studies that show it does increase your risk of ovarian cancer (don't quote me on the type, but I think its ovarian).

Samsfan - glad your uterus is looking good! I would definitely get in to see your endocrinologist to make sure all your levels look good for getting pregnant. Then when you get back to see your FS, you will have to talk with the scheduler to figure out if they can work around your vacation or not. It really depends on what type of ART you do (IUI or IVF) and the protocol. The IVF protocol I was on started with 3 weeks of BCP, then about 10 days of lupron and then the stimulation meds (this is the part that they need to monitor). So you may be able to start an IVF cycle and just time it so the stimulation meds start once you return! Also, with IVF they move your cycle around with the BCP and the lupron so you probably won't be ovulating at the same time when you do your IVF cycle. For example: I got my period on Oct 4th, they put me on BCP starting Oct 7th, I took BCP all the way through until Nov 15th, and overlapped lupron starting on Nov 9th. I didn't actually start the stimulation portion of my cycle until Nov 26th. So my cycle started on Oct 7th but I didn't do the egg retrieval (ER) until Dec 10th! That was unusually long, but with the long lupron protocol it is at least 6 weeks.

Never - what is it with men? They are always so wimpy! I love my man.. he's just hanging out in a little vial waiting for me to need him!

Phil - Oh my still pregnant! I'm learning so much from you and the different things they can do to get things started without using drugs! I love it and will have to remember all of this for when I am pregnant! So maybe she will arrive tomorrow on your Mom's b-day or if not, you're going to get things started on Wednesday! YAY!!

Coy - I am not a lawyer, but I think a hearing sounds way better! I hope it gets settled and the store gets egg on their faces!

AFM - I set my alarm yesterday because I was on call, and I wanted to wake up at 7:55 am to turn on my cell so I wouldn't miss any work calls (but I didn't want to be awakened by them during the night, which is why I had it off). Well when I went to set my alarm last night I forgot it was set to Sat/Sun and not M-F so I woke up at 8:10 on my own and was like why is the sun shining in my eyes! EEK! So I emailed my boss, said I was working from home, and was doing a great job of working until some emergencies occurred, and I was pulled off what I was doing. which isn't too horrible, but the guy that works the late shift had decided to work the normal shift and just be 'on call' if there were issues from 5-7. Well we had over 50 orders die, and he should have been there to fix them, but of course he wasn't so I had to do it. GRR So I'm not in the best mood right now. At least I have eaten and I got my 2 errands run. Still it is 8:30 and I'm just settling down! Other than that, I'm still getting migraines daily. Stupid estrogen levels! That is what is causing the migraines, as your body recovers from the IVF your estrogen levels come back down to normal, but during that time your body has been used to it, and so your head takes the brunt of it

Well ladies.. thanks for letting me rant.. I'm going to watch some TV and go to bed.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Thanks ladies on the advice re:hearing vs. trial....

Ali - egg in their faces! I love it

 

[alicatt]

Thanks ladies on the advice re:hearing vs. trial....

Ali - egg in their faces! I love it

I know, I kill myself sometimes! UGH.. so I was just reading another thread, the IVF in Jan/Feb/March and there is a woman there that was told that her chromosomal testing is going to take 30-40 days! She is using Quest Labs, which is where my testing is happening. Now I'm worried that it will take that long for my tests to come back! AHHHHHHH. I don't want to wait until mid-February to get my results! Waiting until next Friday is hard enough! I'm so impatient!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Ali- why in world would it take so long?? Crazy! Maybe ask your fs about it...

 

[alicatt]

Ali- why in world would it take so long?? Crazy! Maybe ask your fs about it...

Well she said they are mapping her entire DNA! I guess they have to be really careful since her DH is a carrier for CF, and so they need to make sure she is not? So that is why hers is taking so long.

I know they are looking at chromosomes in my case too, but I doubt they need to read my entire DNA! Sometimes people have mistakes in their DNA, where they are mixed up. It doesn't hurt us as humans, but it can make it difficult to reproduce. So that is the kind of DNA testing they are doing on me!

This is the kind of thing they are looking for: https://www.drdaiter.com/preg7.html

It is amazing to think that they can determine this type of thing!

 

[never_give_up]

Ali is chromosomal testing different to genetic testing? I had the genetic one where they test your saliva. When I miscarried the radiologist said she thought it could be a chromosomal issue and I told RE that so I am wondering why he didnt do chromosomal testing?

 

[never_give_up]

dh is playing Halo so I was trying to stay awake because when he comes to bed it wakes me up and I cant get back to sleep but I am soooo sleepy I can't keep my eyes open. I have them closed as Im typing this lol

 

[alicatt]

Ali is chromosomal testing different to genetic testing? I had the genetic one where they test your saliva. When I miscarried the radiologist said she thought it could be a chromosomal issue and I told RE that so I am wondering why he didnt do chromosomal testing?

Honestly I have no idea? I didn't do a saliva test, it was all blood. I know they did some genetic testing at the beginning, CF carrier, tay Sachs etc. All those tests came back normal. I think those tests were for common hereditary issues based upon your ethnicity.

I think this other test is to look at the chromosomes to make sure there aren't any mutations. I don't have the results yet so I don't know what it all entails. I'll let you know as soon as I know!

One thing you can do is get all your blood tests and google the results to see if there is something your FS overlooked? Or take it to another FS for a second opinion?

 

[alicatt]

dh is playing Halo so I was trying to stay awake because when he comes to bed it wakes me up and I cant get back to sleep but I am soooo sleepy I can't keep my eyes open. I have them closed as Im typing this lol

I have that same problem! If I get awakened shortly after I go to sleep I'm up all night! If is maddening! I had an ex BF that would wake me up if I was snoring, like.. yell at me! I would lie there and think of ways to subtly wake him up.. lol! I mean come on, I'm sure we've all had partners that snore, just gently rock them and they don't fully wake up and they stop!

You should try to get your DH to come to bed at the same time if possible or wear ear plugs?

Sweet dreams!

 

[Grey Eyes]

Phil- have you had that baby??? Can't wait! Fx'd!

 

[never_give_up]

Ali You are right. Dh snores like a freight train and if I wake up I cant go back to sleep. I just gently roll him on his side. I tried ear plugs but the only ones that don't hurt are the waxy ones and they cause build up in my ears He would turn on the light when he came to bed after me and that woke me. I usually feel around in the dark if I get up during the night. Well last night I turn a night light on and I continued sleeping so that worked The tay-sachs etc that was the saliva test. Yours are probably new ones. I am starting to see that the doctors are better in Canada. Two of my cousins in Ottawa were diagnosed with auto-immune diseases and their doctors are so good at helping them manage their pain. One cousin has lupus and the other syrogen's. They have alot of the same symptoms I have but are 10 and 12 years older than me. They said their symptoms intensified as they got older.

Coy How are you today? Yes I came here thinking the same thing that Phil had her baby.

Philomena we are all thinking of you and your precious baby girl.

 

[alicatt]

Ali You are right. Dh snores like a freight train and if I wake up I cant go back to sleep. I just gently roll him on his side. I tried ear plugs but the only ones that don't hurt are the waxy ones and they cause build up in my ears He would turn on the light when he came to bed after me and that woke me. I usually feel around in the dark if I get up during the night. Well last night I turn a night light on and I continued sleeping so that worked The tay-sachs etc that was the saliva test. Yours are probably new ones. I am starting to see that the doctors are better in Canada. Two of my cousins in Ottawa were diagnosed with auto-immune diseases and their doctors are so good at helping them manage their pain. One cousin has lupus and the other syrogen's. They have alot of the same symptoms I have but are 10 and 12 years older than me. They said their symptoms intensified as they got older.

Coy How are you today? Yes I came here thinking the same thing that Phil had her baby.

Philomena we are all thinking of you and your precious baby girl.

Interesting about the Tay Sachs - that is something that they determined I didn't need to have tested. I guess it is only recommended for people of French Canadian or Jewish descent? How they would know I'm not either I do not know, especially since I am Canadian and was adopted? HMMM

I did do a DNA test with ancestry.com and found out that I am 26% Scandinavian, 68% British Isles, and 6% unknown. How can I have 6% unknown? I have no idea. Am I an alien?

Coy - hope you are having a good day!

Phil - baby news? anxiously awaiting an update!!!

AFM - ninja today and training a noobie. So that is fun! He is in a new employee type training session right now, so I am free for a bit. It is painful training new people, but I know that in time it will be a great help. Short term pain for long term gain!

 

[Philomena]

Hello Ladies!
NO baby yet!!

I woke up this morning to find the house dark and quiet.... which it shouldn't have been since it's DD#1's first day back at school after Winter Break.... She was going to wake me up after her shower, but it was 8am and no movement.... So I had to climb out of bed, and go wake her up.... then had to wake my mum up so we could drive the rascal to school!! She usually leaves the house around 8 to catch the city bus to school.... so DD#1 would have been late had I left her to it! She accidentally set her alarm for pm instead of am....


So I've decided today is a work day.... been cleaning, taking down Christmas decorations, washing clothes, dishes, anything that keeps me vertical and moving.... in hopes of getting this LO to think about moving down and out!!

Been feeling pressure and a few light surges, but nothing to stop me from what I'm doing.... I'll let you all know if anything changes!!

much love,
Phil.

 

[Grey Eyes]

Phil- classic mistake w/the alarm Glad ou were on the ball! where you get the energy - I have no clue! lol

Ali- gl w/the newbie!

Chantal- smart thinking w/the light, lol, MEN!

AFM- stuck on the new Skyfall song by Adele --can't wait to see the movie

 

[Grey Eyes]

Ladies- I seriously need some Post Partum hairstyle ideas....my hair is currently an espresso colour, #4 of the Perfect 10 series. My hair is hip length and arrow straight and damned hard to curl or get body and I just wash and dry it forEVER.

I want to keep my length but maybe some layers around the face? Maybe something flyaway/spiky something? IDK...but I want something super sexy for once and kind of badass at the same time. Any ideas w/possible pics???

My face is long and angular which makes it tough. Hm.
Aaargh!

Recent pic (my hair had been braided so it's fuzzy lol!


https://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o611/greyeyes3/000_4387_zpsa3875a38.jpg

 

[JenSC]

Yikes! I have a bunch of emergencies at work, and you all get very chatty!

JenSC - good to hear from you! Don't forget you want to 4 days before you get a positive OPK, and 2 days after (every other day). So if you are starting to see the stick darken then you should start having every other day! Also, clomid is not meant to be an every month thing, there is an increased risk of certain cancers for those women using it more than 3-4 months in a row. So you need to get your DH on board and do whatever you need to do to get him to do his part. Some FS's will allow you to go a few months more, but there are studies that show it does increase your risk of ovarian cancer (don't quote me on the type, but I think its ovarian).

Hi Ali,
Yes, I know Clomid is a short term thing- I think I would only be on it two more months (I have been on 50 mg and would increase to 100mg per the doctors plan) but I think I am going to give it up. My husband has horrible allergies and could only manage sex on the day of the opk+. He was working long hours leading up to it, and the day after the positive, we tried to have sex and he kept losing his erection and couldn't finish. (I don't know if I am allowed to say that- you all use the "BD" euphemism, but I figure it is only adults here.)

I think we are done with this. I am frustrated by my husband's attitude that we have lots of time. In my opinion, we do not.