"Were you TRYING for a baby?"

[mummyvikki]

I hate this question so much and I wouldnt dream of ever asking another pregnant lady that question ever! I find it rude and very upsetting that people are so rude to even think of it before saying oh how lovely congratulations. So if I said no it wasn't (which baby was planned) would there reaction still be oh how lovely congratulations! Damb right out of order if you ask me xx

 

[Tasha]

I think it is such a rude question. Obviously different for health care professionals as the approach they need to take will vary with the answer to the question but everyone else shouldn't ask at all.

Even my ob/gyno asked me when I was preg with #3 if I was with same guy!

That's actually needed as bad as it sounds, your risks of pre-eclampsia and some other things go up if it's a new partner.

 

[bluecathy1978]

I get this all the time. This is baby number 7 for us and we were meant to be stopping at 6 but we were blessed with a surprise and anybody who is noyt happy can jog on!

 

[Peanutt]

I feel like I'm the odd one out because I don't see why it's such an offensive question. Weird yes, but not as bad as some questions I've heard being asked. Maybe they're trying to make sure they're on the best birth control lol!

A friend of mine who is 41 had her 4th (the little girl is just a doll and about ready to start walking). She wasn't expecting that pregnancy but during her pregnancy, people kept asking her things like she should go on food stamps or saying that she should have been done having children by now, or why she thought she needed four children and isn't she too old for another child.
I thought that was the kind of stuff that was rude.

 

[bluecathy1978]

I get allsorts like I'm only having another baby so I can claim benefits. We only are eligible to claim child tax credit and child benefit like anyone else with children. My husband works more than full time hours. We pay all our own bills, council tax and rent. We don't smoke, drink or go out and we take care of our children ourselves so it has nothing to do with anyone else!
We also get the same father question. People look shocked when we say yes!!

 

[babifever]

Its a common question, don't take it personally.

 

[mrs.e.e]

I'd probably just say "yes I shagged my husband it was fabulous .... Isn't that what married couples are supposed to do " ?!? Thankfully no idiot had ever said this to me

 

[mommyB]

I got asked at the bank if this one was planned?!?! Seriously. Since when has having 3 kids a crazy thing? Ignore questions like that, people shouldn't be asking them! And I was 27 when I had my first!

 

[jumpingo]

The only person who asked me if my pregnancy was "a good thing" was the nurse but I think it was because I'm 38 and it may have been unplanned. Don't let them get you down. You should come up with the a good smart ass reply to knock them down a notch.

I'd probably just say "yes I shagged my husband it was fabulous .... Isn't that what married couples are supposed to do " ?!? Thankfully no idiot had ever said this to me

i agree - you just need to have a witty comeback to these kinds of questions. people are just rude and a little bit of their own medicine might make them think twice about asking questions about stuff that is none of their business!

personally i like, "um, are you asking if i had unprotected sex, on purpose? or are you trying to imply something else? just so i know how offended to be..." and then just not even answer the question.

 

[Charlie_x]

I hate this question too how bloody rude! It doesnt matter if you are trying or not trying and tbh its no one elses business like why do they even feel the need to ask or to even imply that you being pregnant is a mistake like you've done something wrong!!

 

[MummyM86]

"well we did such a good job at making the last one we thought we'd keep banging and see if we could do it again! "

Inappropriate questions deserve an equally inappropriate response!

 

[mrs.e.e]

"well we did such a good job at making the last one we thought we'd keep banging and see if we could do it again! "

Inappropriate questions deserve an equally inappropriate response!

Lol

 

[mommie2be]

I'm sure once we start telling people other than family we'll get that question a lot. I understand why since we're both only 20, we have a son already & we aren't married. BUT I do think it's kind of rude to ask. Granted we weren't trying (but we also weren't doing a good job at preventing it either) but still! I remember when I got pregnant at SIXTEEN people were asking me if I got pregnant on purpose....

 

[nadiasunshine]

I have had this too. I have a daughter who is 3 and i'm 22. Realistically, i'd preferred to have been an older mom, but my first was unplanned and I didn't want to wait a long time before having another baby, and so this one was planned. I was really happy telling everybody my news, I feel in a much better place this time round etc. And when telling everybody I said 'I've got some lovely news, I'm having another baby.' I've had 'You wont cope' and 'Don't get your hopes up' and 'What a situation to be in you couldn't cope with your first' I was 18 with my first and single, it was a completely different situation.

Personally I think people are just bloody rude! They should congratulate rather than push you down. I felt like utter sh*t with the responses I got! It really upset me.

XXX

 

[nadiasunshine]

haha love this!!!

 

[nadiasunshine]

"well we did such a good job at making the last one we thought we'd keep banging and see if we could do it again! "

Inappropriate questions deserve an equally inappropriate response!

Haha love this!

 

[crazycatlady5]

I'm still shocked at those responses. I can't even imagine knowing people who would respond in the way you ladies have shared. So sorry you've gone through this.

 

[Catiren]

i know how rude people can be. im fortunate me and my boyfriend have had nothing but nice comments and questions throughout my pregnancy. maybe its because hes "popular" with the crowds as hes such a people-person.. either way i cant think of anything rude we've been told but there has been A TON of annoying remarks about how certain birthing methods are a MUST-DO over the one ive planned for myself (im sticking to my hospital birth). ugh..