What do you do with LO's evening

[Peppermint25]

Hello,

I'm just wondering what others do when you have a nice little evening routine going with your LO that works well - wind down from 6, bath, stories, feed and asleep by 7- and you are asked to go out for dinner or two grandparents houses that will disrupt this routine?

My LO is 4 months and we have established a really good evening routine with her. She is always shattered by the evening and becomes really tired DVD grizzly if we keep her up past 7 ish. When she was younger and was a sleepy little thing we could take her out for dinner and let her sleep in her pram then just get her to bed quickly when we'r home. This doesn't work at all now. She would be nosey and awake the whole time and would quickly become over tired. The last time we went out for dinner, about 5 weeks ago she managed well whilst in the restaurant then as soon as we got to the car she was so upset, tired and fussy. It took ages to get her calm and get her fed and to sleep and I felt terrible for upsetting her routine and getting her in such a state.

So I just wondered, how do you manage taking your LO's out if it disrupts their evening routines and bed times? Or do you just not go out at those times? Its s pain in the bahookee that the only times we can really see MIL & FIL is a Friday night as they are working over our way, if not its a heck of a journey to see them at the weekend and anyways, their always busy! They just don't understand when I tell them its no good being out until 8 or 9 at night as it's too late for LO. I think they think I'm being mean and deliberately avoiding going out in the evening.

Thanks x

 

[Dream.dream]

With my oldest we had a bit later bed time but routine has been the same from about 6 moths till now an he's 4

We do dinner at 6 done by 630, in the bath645 out of bath and Jammie's by 715 snack till 730 stories and then lights out and tucked in by 8 .

 

[sezzolou]

My lo is nearly 5 months and has a similar routine as yours. He also will not tolerate staying up any later than 7pm, leads to total meltdown lol. So far we have only gone round to family/friends in an evening with him. We do the bedtime routine while there but without the bath and settle him in his carrycot (only just fits) in a quiet room. Of course we have to wake him to put him in the car seat to go home which he is usually not too pleased about. We haven't dared take him to a restaurant or anything like that yet.

 

[GracieGoo]

We have a similar routine to your lo. We just don't go out or get someone to sit (very very rarely), Can you invite your in laws round and order in?? Or something similar like that... We used to regularly go out with our in laws as well.. but these days it just doesn't happen - I suppose it is just one of those sacrifices. I would rather have a night in than deal with 2 hard work fussy children - cannot see the joy in that myself...

 

[Pielette]

When Noah was younger we used to take a travel cot and put him to bed at a friend's or a grandparent's house. We would then pick him up and put him in the car. It worked reasonably well. We haven't done it for a long time though.

 

[Peppermint25]

Thanks for your replies! We have had dinner in a few times but we don't have much room and Everytime they come they make it very obvious that they are disappointed and uncomfy at our tiny table! I suppose its just too bad though eh.

The travel cot would be an idea only if we were to go to theirs then there would be an hour and a half journey to get back and last time we drove it about 7pm LO screamed all the way, to the point of us having to stop every 10 minutes to hold her and take her outside to calm down. I'm definitely not doing that in a hurry!

Looks like the easiest thing and the best thing for baby is to just not go out to dinner. There just doesn't seem to be a kind of easy way to get round it.

Mil and FIL can't come to ours for Christmas and wanting us to go up there for dinner. No blooming way am I driving back late and ruining LOs Christmas with a meltdown. And I really don't want to stay at there's as this is our first Christmas as a family with LO and it want us to all be here. Argh Christmas and seeing family is stressful!

 

[Pielette]

I've always taken the attitude that if it upsets my boys and they're tired and out of sorts, I'm not going to do it. They need their sleep. It isn't MIL/auntie/random friend who's going to deal with an upset baby later!

 

[Peppermint25]

I've always taken the attitude that if it upsets my boys and they're tired and out of sorts, I'm not going to do it. They need their sleep. It isn't MIL/auntie/random friend who's going to deal with an upset baby later!

Exactly! That's my way of thinking too. It's just not OH's so much and not his parents.

I think I will just have to out my foot down on this one

 

[Noo]

I wouldn't go out. Invite them round. If they turn your offer down - no great loss.

 

[Beccaboop]

My lo is really nosey too and wont sleep when we go out but he loves being out and surrounded by people so hes happy most of the time we're out and then is normally knackered and falls asleep in the car (he doesnt usually sleep in the car, never has done) then we just quickly get him changed and into bed when we get home not worrying about giving him a bath.

I do feel bad about messing up his routine but i think if is only every now and then its not too bad and he loves seeing everyone and they love seeing him so its worth it.

 

[Sparrow85]

We don't, I'm afraid. My LO's needs come before mine now (unfortunately, sometimes ) and he's a tired little man, so we don't take him out after his bedtime.

He goes to bed between 6-6.30pm. I have occasionally kept him up until 7.30 if he's had a late nap, but very rarely. He becomes a mess if he's too tired and it's just not worth it.

We still go out almost every weekend for dinner, but we either go around 4pm and take LO with us or my mum/MIL comes up to sit for a few hours whilst me and OH go for dinner, go to cinema etc.

My LO would never sleep in his pram now. He's far too nosy and needs peace and quiet to be able to sleep.

 

[NoodleSnack]

Things might change in a month's time. I found around that age, it was best to follow a routine but after he got older, he could tolerate being awake for longer much better so going pass bedtime for an hour wasn't a big deal. He also go through phase when he screamed in the car seat and now once in, he will sleep in there when tired.

 

[FAB mama]

We mostly don't go out. We never did that much before though. DH is always too tired after work. We went out recently for our anniversary and MIL and FIL watched LO. We fed him and bathed him and brought him to their house in his pj's. It worked fine for a couple hours and then he had a total meltdown right as we were getting back. I'm surprised it worked that long though! They had never babysat him before either. I'd rather stay home than make him upset unless there's a good reason.

 

[MumToEva]

We have always went to family every sunday since we got married, so when DD came along she just went too. What we do is have an earlier dinner, around 5 o'clock usually as that's my daughter's normal tea time and she's a real creature of habit. That way dinner is well over by the kids bedtime, then we get them into their jammies and leave at their bedtime (7 o'clock) - that way they sleep on the way home and I can transfer them to bed without them waking. On the odd occasion that we want to be out later than that, we get someone to babysit in our house.

I'd say think about what you want to be able to do longer term - if you would like to be able to go out to family for dinner etc, then getting LO used to it at an earlier age it likely to mean it's easier to do down the line.

 

[petite ping]

On the few occasions we do go out with the LO, she's usually so excited by being with other people that she doesn't want to go to sleep. Normally she'll play till she drops and then we put her to bed in another room until we go home. A few times she did have a meltdown in the car but was OK once we got home.
We tried to avoid dinner out of the house and usually try and get people to have lunch with us instead. When we go out to restaurants with the LO it's usually for lunch.

 

[Reno]

We were on our way to DHs nephews birthday party which started half at 7pm (half an hour after DSs bed time) when DS was about 9 months old. We turned around when we were half way there cos he was falling asleep in the car.

It's just not worth it, we just decline any evening invitations now! Perhaps your ILs could come over to your house so LO can sleep as normal?

 

[Reno]

I know a couple who were so determined that having a baby wouldn't 'disrupt their social lives' that they got him in to the habit of sleeping at midnight (the time they normally go to bed). By his first birthday he was sleeping 12-12, but now he's 2.5 and they are seriously struggling to change his routine before he starts nursery at 3!

It's very extreme, but illustrates that having a baby does mean your whole world changes and you don't have the freedom with your evenings like you used to!