What feels like a taboo question

[sakuramiss]

I am 36, and facing the largest decision of my life.

Is there anyone who regrets having children who would share their feelings? Perhaps specifying why? OR, regrets an aspect of their choices?

Much obliged

 

[RaspberryK]

I'm 26 and been married 5 years my son is 2.5. I regret not starting younger xx

 

[moomin_troll]

I do look at my life and think how easy it would be to have no kids, or even if it had just been me and zane or if I just had Corey.
I feel guilty during these times. I love them more than life and they have saved my life more then they will ever know.
I do regret having them so young, but seen as I was then a widow at 22, I wouldn't have been able to have children with the man I wanted to have them with.
And on the other hand I'm glad I had them young, so as I grow and became more financial stable, ile be able to do all the things I think I'm missing out on.

Life is hard and we all think life might be greener on the other side.
But I don't believe in regrets, they won't change a thing and just make u feel like shit.

EDIT.. I don't think anyone is ready for children, no matter how much planning it's still a huge shock to the system.
My sister never wanted children, she's now 28 and pregnant with her first and probably last, she's happy she finally let it happen, she could never have planned to have a baby, if she did, she wouldn't have ever had one

 

[Yo_Yo]

I only regret dd1s dad being so rubbish!
I certainly don't regret any of my children though-I feel blessed to have them, and life began at motherhood for me....even on the days they annoy me I don't have regrets!
I tend to know more that regret not having them, than having them personally.

It's definitely something deep down within yourself you need to look for answers too, as everyone is different. Hope you find your answer.

 

[lhancock90]

I don't regret them at all but sometimes i wish we'd waited till we were in a better place? Our own house etc.
x

 

[MrsEngland]

I'm 22 and have three girls i dont regret them but sometimes i wish me and hubby had spent a bit more time just us too before the girls but then we'll have that time when theyre grown. I cant imagine life without them, its the hardest, most rewarding thing i have ever done!

 

[catty]

No I dont regret having children. I sometimes regret getting pregnant so quickly as its alot of things im trying to juggle all at once. I know itl all be worth it once baby is born just need to get myself through the next 3 months. I have regrets that lucas doesnt get my 100% time as im so tired I sometimes cant wait for his naptime but I know im trying my best.

 

[dani_tinks]

I don't regret having Jacob, however I wish i'd seen and done more in my life. Hubby is a lot older than me and with his age we've had to have children sooner than perhaps we may have done if he was younger. When most of my friends are having holidays and seeing the world, I haven't had a holiday even in this country for 4 years!
But, realistically I know i'm blessed to have the life I do & I try to appreciate it all .

 

[lilyd]

I waited to have children, I was 36 when I had my first. In all honesty, I thought I was perfectly happy to never have children, but I met my OH when I was 32 and it changed everything.

I don't regret having them at all (well maybe some days!), but having travelled a lot, eaten out regularly etc etc, the loss of freedom was a big adjustment. We both come from small, older families so we don't have a huge support network/babysitters.

We have 2 children and won't be having any more. If I could change anything, I would be that OH and I had met 5 years earlier as we probably would have liked 4.

 

[tallybee]

I have moments. I don't regret having my children, but I find myself feeling completely overwhelmed at times. It's hard. But life must go on.

 

[XcupcakeX]

No I don't regret my daughter at all, but I do wish I has made the most of life before having her, and I miss child free holidays etc.

 

[sparkle_1979]

No never. I was 30 when I had my first. I've lived the young life partying, holidays etc so I don't feel I'm missed out at all x

 

[missk1989]

I sometimes wish i could just disappear and have no responsibility but when i think about my life when this was the case it was no better. Deep down all i ever wanted was to have my own family and know i have. I love my son more than anything in the world and could never regret him.

 

[Banshee]

The only thing I regret was not having my children earlier. I always wanted 3 but now we've got 2 and couldn't possibly afford a 3rd at the mo. I am 36 so by the time the boys are in school and we could afford nursery fees for a 3rd I'll be too old to personally consider starting trying for a 3rd.
I don't regret having my children although it is sometimes hard. I also think that being in my 30s we'd had our wonderful holidays and invested in our house etc and established my career before having the boys.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I'm 22 and have three girls i dont regret them but sometimes i wish me and hubby had spent a bit more time just us too before the girls but then we'll have that time when theyre grown. I cant imagine life without them, its the hardest, most rewarding thing i have ever done!

This is exactly how I feel. I was pregnant at 18 and we'd only been together for a year and hadn't done a lot of things like go on a proper holiday abroad together etc. So sometimes I think it would have been quite nice to have had holidays and more time just us two as a couple. But we want to be done having our babies before we're 25 so I look forward to having more time to be us in our 30s and 40s without being busy with babies and toddlers! Never regret having my son though I'm so happy he's in my life

 

[supertabby]

No I don't regret having children - I think it's fairly rare to genuinely feel that way and even then a lot of the time it's a case of needing some support. However I think most (probably all) mums have their moments when they wish they could go back, fleeting feelings on a bad day and heaven forbid you admit it to anyone, but that's normal.

Good luck with your decision making, whatever it is.

 

[wishuwerehere]

I had my first dd unplanned whilst i was still at uni. Although i find it hard and tiring being a mum somedays, i actually regret going to uni a lot more!

I originally wanted to follow an academic career track and if i had kids i would do it in my late 30s or not at all . However when i had my dd this changed a lot, and i wish i had dropped out and gone back to study later as i think i'd be in a better place financially now. I know people always say live your life, study travel etc before you have kids but i actually wish i'd just settled down, had my kids and i'd be better off now. If that makes sense! I also think there's too much emphasis on travel as this affirmative life experience now but i don't feel i've missed something vital by not spending my 20s going on exotic holidays.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Nope. Not even a tiny bit. No doubt at all. I was made to be a mother x

 

[Eleanor ace]

The only thing I regret is not waiting a bit longer to have my LOs, but only because I'm sad that the first pregnancy excitement is over lol. I was very ready to have children though, in fact I was obsessed with it lol. I think that no one is ever totally ready, but if you are finding it a really hard decission it might be helpful to take a couple of months off thinking about it, take the pressure off the situation?

 

[LynseyPynsey]

I fell pregnant 2 weeks before my 19th birthday, had only been with OH for 6 months. I had also recently started a 2 year training course to become a dental nurse which I couldn't complete due to going on maternity leave half way through so the timing was bloody horrendous.

That being said if I'd not had our son there's no way we'd have bought our first house and be in the financial situation we're in. OH has totally got a kick up the butt with his finances and we now live fairly comfortably and can save for holidays and weekends away and we still eat out loads and get takeaways and things. Can't imagine life without our little man!

Oh and I sometimes get a bit jealous when I hear of nights out my 21 year old friends are going on but I still get out a fair bit and even went on a girly weekend last week