What feels like a taboo question

[alicecooper]

I definitely don't regret having had my children, but I wish I hadn't had my first at 21. I wasn't ready to have kids then.

But if that was changed, I'd have different kids, obviously, because it'd be a different egg and a different sperm. So I don't wish it was different, it's just the way it is.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

See I had my son at 16 and it worked in my favor in the way I don't miss anything as didnt have anything to miss lol! I have devoted my life to children and will see what life brings in later years

 

[tinkerbelle93]

That being said if I'd not had our son there's no way we'd have bought our first house and be in the financial situation we're in. OH has totally got a kick up the butt with his finances and we now live fairly comfortably and can save for holidays and weekends away and we still eat out loads and get takeaways and things. Can't imagine life without our little man!

I also really feel our financial situation is owed to our LO. Before I fell pregnant we didn't save anything at all despite both working and spent as fast as earned it, we definitely wouldn't have a mortgage now if it wasn't for our LO coming along lol

 

[smileyfaces]

No I never regret my kids. I do wish I had been a bit older though.

 

[lovelylaura]

There are only 2 things i wish i had done before children. A holiday abroad together and a festival. Not life changing things. I was young (still am) when i had my girls, but we'd had a while living together already and spent time together as a couple so i don't feel like i missed out on anything. Then again i dont like big nights out or anything like that. We had a rythem going so poppy just fitted in. I will be early 40's when my girls are in their 20's so plenty of time for holidays ect togther. Also i had no desire for a career before my girls but now its a huge life goal of mine. Children change your perspective on life which is why people seem to have 'regrets' but its not really its just children seem to make you see clearly whats important to you in life.

Edit- just to add i don't think there's anything wrong with not having kids. yes they are lovely but you can still have a wonderful life without them. It's not that i don't enjoy them it just that life isn't just about children. There are lots of things in life that will give you happiness x

 

[phoenix333]

No I don't regret my children, they make my life feel more complete. I genuinely believe that had DD not come along when she did we probably would not have had children - not that we didn't want any, it's just never felt like the "right" time to try. I feel lucky the decision was taken out of our hands and in hindsight starting at 27 was the right age for us and everything has just slotted into place.

 

[jd83]

Definitely don't regret having my kids, they are my world I would say my regret is putting it off so long, wanting to get through school, get a good steady job, get a house, etc. While those are all great things for stability, I now wish I hadn't spent so much money in student loans to get to this place of "stability", because I am stuck needing to work to meet our financial obligations. I don't have an option of getting to stay home with the kids for a few years while they are little, because my student loan debt for 6 years of school to get a masters degree is just way too much for DH to make the payments on his income. So that's my regret. At the time, I was much more career oriented. I still am, but I wish I had the option to work less. I'd love part time work, but need full time work.

 

[Abigailly]

Sometimes I envy people without children. Usually they're DINKys. They seem to have this idyllic life style. Holidaying regularly. Have the freedom to go out as a couple regularly. Spontaneity. And are often very free living. There are days that, for a bit, I think I'd do anything for that lifestyle.

Then I realise, that actually, they will never experience the things I have. The depth of love I feel. 'Coming home' after a day out and hearing the noise of the house, the joy and the laughter. Even the arguements and shouting. They'll never know their true potential. Never find their limits.

My Great Aunt is a wonderful woman in her late 60s. She never had kids as she met her husband in her late 30s and he's 30 years older than her. And I know that she doesn't regret marrying Eric. And she wouldn't change it for the world. But even now, with all her money (they are LOADED), all the love she still has for him, all her social life and all her free time. She regrets not ever having the opportunity to be a mother, even though when she was younger she was adamant she didn't want kids.

 

[jodiex]

Im going to be totally honest here. Yes u regret having kids. Every day. I love them but I wish I could rewind my life back and not have any.
I had my son on my 21st birthday so not really young. I did enjoy my life before that but theres so much more I wanted to do and cant now .

 

[emyandpotato]

I often feel like I messed everything up from being about 10. I'd love to change many things but with the way things happened, Rory's coming along changed things for the better, so although everything leading up to his birth was perhaps regrettable, I don't regret having him at all. Does that make sense?!

 

[Cariad_x]

No, not at all. I regret that we didn't have as much time just the two of us before he came along but he's made me feel complete in a way I didn't know was possible until I had him. I love being a mum.

 

[mammy2oaklen]

Nope I was definitely put here to be a mother. I had ds1 at 21 and feel this might be early but to me it was definitely the right decision I just want to get on and have number 3 so they can grow up close together.

I feel I can do all the travelling and seeing the world when they grow up and leave me me and dh r still young.

 

[Angelbaby_01]

I don't regret having my DD. Life is hard soemtimes, but I would have been much more misreable and lonely without her. She makes me smile everyday.

 

[lisa1980]

No regrets at all. My outlook on everything has completely changed since having my son, for the better. He has taught me so much. I found having a newborn tough but it's worth it a million times over.

My only regret is maybe not starting a bit earlier. I was 31 when I had DS and we waited until jobs were secure, home was bought etc etc but realistically we could have started a bit earlier and maybe had time to have 3 or 4 kids (we still might ). I AM grateful though that I had done all the girly holidays, some travelling, spontaneous stuff beforehand, so I don't miss it one bit. I was getting bored of cocktail nights tbh (sorry to sound so old and dull!)

 

[Feff]

I wouldn't say I regret having Elodie but I definitely had her at the wrong time (16), I wish that I was married and living on my own home so that she would have a normal family life, I've been on one night out round town in my life so I wish that I could be care free and do that. I love her millions though and really can't imagine life without her, she's definitely made me more determined x

 

[Lauraxamy]

I don't regret anything, I had two by the time I was 20 but I love being a young Mum, I also found out I was pregnant with my first five months after losing my Nan and in a way it kind of saved me because I wasn't in a very happy place. Sometimes I wish things had worked out with their dad as I often feel bad about that but other than that, no regrets.

 

[aimee-lou]

Yes children are a big responsibility but there was never any question that we would get married and have babies. When we met we were both 22 and and a lot if life experience between us. We got married at 24 and then ds1 arrived at 26. Some said it was all too fast but it all made us strong. We have faced hardships and challenges head on and having the children has held our nerve when if we'd been able to run away we probably would have. We are now done ( well i'm actually in a 2ww at the mo but never mind lol) abduction are planning the next 18 years while we have them at home as our responsibility. After that we'll both be 50 and plan on traveling for a year then retiring to a country retreat before we are 60 - all very possible and very much a plan.

My only regret is that i spent a lot of time and energy trying to build a career i didn't actually need ire in the end actually want. I'm a sahm (.lucky ) and hope to retrain in the future but i do feel a guilt that i have never reached my professional potential and now at 30 while it's not too late i'm aware that with 3 smallies in tow it restricts the options and time available to achieve anything, at least quickly anyway. This however is not a brick wall and can be overcome given time.

There is never a good time to have a child. They tip everything on it's head then leave you to pink up the pieces. However as with everything in life, you need to ask yourself how you'd feel if you never grasp the opportunity when it arises. If the never option is scared than the perhaps, then always explore the perhaps.

 

[celestek89]

The only thing I regret is not being there as much as I should have been when DD was smaller. I was diagnosed with PND after having her, then while getting treatment for that, I was diagnosed with developmental PTSD. I went down a very deep hole of depression and self medicated with alcohol for a while. I stopped seeing my psychologist and went out 4 times a week, leaving OH home with DD. She would have been around 18 months when I started and I think it lasted around 6 months (of constant partying) this is time I will NEVER get back with her. My marriage nearly ended, I was sleeping in the spare room and the thought of losing them both completely snapped me out of it. It breaks my heart thinking about it now, knowing that I missed out on so much quality time. I should have been there and I wasn't Since I've sorted myself out my marriage is better than ever, and the time I have with DD is so cherished. I miss her all the time, even if its only been half an hour. This is something that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life.

 

[catty]

The only thing I regret is not being there as much as I should have been when DD was smaller. I was diagnosed with PND after having her, then while getting treatment for that, I was diagnosed with developmental PTSD. I went down a very deep hole of depression and self medicated with alcohol for a while. I stopped seeing my psychologist and went out 4 times a week, leaving OH home with DD. She would have been around 18 months when I started and I think it lasted around 6 months (of constant partying) this is time I will NEVER get back with her. My marriage nearly ended, I was sleeping in the spare room and the thought of losing them both completely snapped me out of it. It breaks my heart thinking about it now, knowing that I missed out on so much quality time. I should have been there and I wasn't Since I've sorted myself out my marriage is better than ever, and the time I have with DD is so cherished. I miss her all the time, even if its only been half an hour. This is something that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life.

Dont beat yourself up, she was so young she wont even remember and she was probably sleeping when you were out. You cant change whats happened now. Least you have decided to change and the years she will remember you will be there

 

[Lauraxamy]

The only thing I regret is not being there as much as I should have been when DD was smaller. I was diagnosed with PND after having her, then while getting treatment for that, I was diagnosed with developmental PTSD. I went down a very deep hole of depression and self medicated with alcohol for a while. I stopped seeing my psychologist and went out 4 times a week, leaving OH home with DD. She would have been around 18 months when I started and I think it lasted around 6 months (of constant partying) this is time I will NEVER get back with her. My marriage nearly ended, I was sleeping in the spare room and the thought of losing them both completely snapped me out of it. It breaks my heart thinking about it now, knowing that I missed out on so much quality time. I should have been there and I wasn't Since I've sorted myself out my marriage is better than ever, and the time I have with DD is so cherished. I miss her all the time, even if its only been half an hour. This is something that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life.

Don't feel bad, getting better was the best thing you could of done for her