What is the latest you can 'book in'/have first scan

[luci and bump]

I found out recently I'm expecting my 2nd baby. My ex OH (very recent break up) isn't happy about the pregnancy, he's just about to start his 2nd year of university, 100 miles away from where we live.
We've discussed our options, and we don't agree on how to proceed. Obviously ultimately the decision is mine. He has an exam tomorrow, and we agreed we'd wait until after that to have a proper discussion.
My worry is, I'm further gone than I thought I was (12 weeks tomorrow) which is obviously when most people are having their first scan. We have an appointment with the hospital to discuss TOP on Sept 5th (we agreed it was better to book it in and not need it, than decide that was our choice and it be too late)
I'm just worried that the hospital won't see me/will judge me for not knowing what I want to do.
Does it get to a certain point in the pregnancy where the first scan stops being an efficient way of dating the pregnancy? Is that even the purpose of the first scan??

 

[Sweetkat]

If TOP is what I think it is, then without a medical reason I doubt you will be able to have it... first scan has to be between week 12 and 13&6 and if you don't book it now then you will run out of time to have the nuchal translucency to assess risk of downs (It has to be before 14 weeks I think).

 

[Sweetkat]

Purpose of first scan is not to date but to date, plus make sure everything ok plus to assess risk of downs and other anomalies.

 

[Talia12]

You need to get that scan booked by 13+6 for the NT test as pp said. It does also become less accurate for dating, yes. The hospital won't judge you - firstly, they see many women who are unsure of what they want, and secondly, that's not their job - they have to treat you and provide you with all the medical care and the respect that they provide all patients with regardless of the circumstances. I promise no one at the hospital will judge you, but you do need to have the scan booked before 13+6 in case you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy. Best of luck

 

[Talia12]

If you book in now they will "escalate" you and get an urgent scan booked because you're so far along.

 

[StaceyKor]

As others have said get yourself booked in asap and get the scan done at least. Needs done before 13+6 to be accurate for the NT part. Our dates are very similar (I'm 12+1) and I have my first scan tomorrow. If for any reason they can't get all the measurements they need tomorrow I would have plenty of time to come back and try again to get baby in right position for measurements. You need to make sure you have this option x

 

[luci and bump]

If TOP is what I think it is, then without a medical reason I doubt you will be able to have it... first scan has to be between week 12 and 13&6 and if you don't book it now then you will run out of time to have the nuchal translucency to assess risk of downs (It has to be before 14 weeks I think).

The hospital said i can have TOP until 15 weeks with them, and until 24 weeks with an outsourced clinic. I was surprised tbh, but much past 15 weeks and there's no way I'd go through with it anyway.

Either way, I think we need to decide in the next few days how we're going to proceed. I didn't want to book in with the hospital and have a scan, until I knew that was our decision. I don't want to waste anyones time, but I didn't want to feel rushed into making a decision I'd regret either.
Thank you for all your help ladies, I feel so clueless and lost!!

 

[Talia12]

Sorry you feel so lost. If you think that having a scan might change your mind and make you not want to go through with the termination, then I think maybe you are leaning towards wanting this pregnancy and potentially setting yourself up for regret if you have the termination. In my honest opinion you should have the scan first, for two reasons - firstly for the NT and other anomaly measurements, and secondly to see how you emotionally react as it may make the decision for you either way.

 

[luci and bump]

Sorry you feel so lost. If you think that having a scan might change your mind and make you not want to go through with the termination, then I think maybe you are leaning towards wanting this pregnancy and potentially setting yourself up for regret if you have the termination. In my honest opinion you should have the scan first, for two reasons - firstly for the NT and other anomaly measurements, and secondly to see how you emotionally react as it may make the decision for you either way.

The termination was never my first thought, it's more I agreed to book it to give us time to talk, but it isn't the way I want to proceed. He seems to struggle to separate us trying to fix our broken relationship, and us trying to deal with an unplanned pregnancy. Where as in my mind they're separate issues, we don't have to be together for me to have this baby, I'm prepared to do it alone.
In all honesty, I didn't book a scan/see a midwife because I didn't know I could when I have a termination booked! His exam is at 9am tomorrow morning in Aberystwyth, so he should be back in Cardiff by 3pm. I think I need to sit him down and explain that just as I've gone along with having the TOP arranged just in case it's what we decide, he needs to understand I need this scan booked too, in case thats what we decide. I think he's in denial to an extent, he seemed shocked I was taking pregnancy vitamins etc, and couldn't understand why I wouldn't go on the water slides at the swimming pool last week.

 

[loeylo]

You can have the NT until 14+2, and they won't fast track you. I didn't see a midwife until 11weeks as I was being dealt with by the early pregnancy unit until 12 weeks. I had my 12 week scan at what I thought was 14 weeks but they measured me as 14+2 and they told me if I had been a day later they would have had to base it purely on my blood tests which is less accurate. My risk for chromosomal abnormalities was really low (1:25,000) so having it later didn't skew my figures whatsoever.

 

[luci and bump]

You can have the NT until 14+2, and they won't fast track you. I didn't see a midwife until 11weeks as I was being dealt with by the early pregnancy unit until 12 weeks. I had my 12 week scan at what I thought was 14 weeks but they measured me as 14+2 and they told me if I had been a day later they would have had to base it purely on my blood tests which is less accurate. My risk for chromosomal abnormalities was really low (1:25,000) so having it later didn't skew my figures whatsoever.

I didn't have any bloods taken during my first pregnancy due to a crippling needle phobia (my midwife and Dr agreed it was causing more harm than good, so they gave trying) I think my risk would be fairly low too, I'm only 30. I also feel confident that even if my baby did have a chromosomal abnormality, I don't think I'd terminate anyway, so it isn't a major concern. It's more that the baby is alive and growing as it should, and to work out a rough due date I'm concerned about.

 

[Sweetkat]

I think some chromosomal issues are incompatible with life so they give you the option to terminate rather than have a very late miscarriage. I had a missed miscarriage at 10&2 because the baby had trisomy 21. So I think if I had made it to 12 weeks they would have given me the option to terminate because it wasn't a viable pregnancy

I am sure everything will be fine with your baby and you should definitely book the scan soon

Your OH will come round and even if he doesn't i could never forgive a man who made me terminate a pregnancy.