What to do, bedsharing, still nursing, here comes number 2!

[RosemaryBaby]

Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated for our upcoming changes!

We currently bed share with our LO (25months) and she still BF s, even several times during the night. We also nap with her or get her to sleep and then put her down. So, she currently relies on us, me especially, for sleep and nursing. But, we are moving in a couple months and I just found out I am pregnant with number two. I am not opposed to letting her continue nursing or sleeping with us, but I am concerned that the very squirm toddler will be risky for a newborn. We do side car the crib already, but she mostly doesn't use that space, preferring to wiggle all over the place. On the other hand, having her by me makes it easy for her to nurse if she wants at night, without requiring me to get out of bed. I am nervous to make too many changes at once, too, since we will be moving soon on top of everything else. I am also nervous to wait to make any changes in fear that DD will feel the new baby is to blame for the changes.

Anyone go through anything similar and have helpful tips for what worked or didn't?

Thanks!

 

[Mrsb3]

Hi, I'm due in less than 2 weeks and have an 11 month ok'd weighing 24lb who sleeps on me most of the time and unborn baby has been fine. He is very much a wriggle bum and tried to climb jump all over me but everything seems ok- had a scan at 36 weeks and she looks happy healthy etc... So I wouldn't worry about that side if things x

 

[RosemaryBaby]

I hadn't even thought of DD hurting the unborn baby, and even though DD is a squirmer, still won't wouldn't worry about that, especially with your response. I was concerned about bed sharing when the new baby arrives with a toddler. I don't know if I should transition the older child into her own bed/room and how to do it without making her feel bad if that's what we have to do. I love sharing a bed with her and love our nursing relationship, so I'm trying to figure out the best possibilities and am looking for others' ways of doing things with multiple kids.

 

[NDH]

Is there room in your bedroom to have a separate bed for her? Might be easier to transition her into her own bed still in your room? My daughter was 17 months old when my second was horn and we started transitioning her to her own room at 15 months (gently. She's only just started sleeping there for more than three hours a night a year later) as we felt it would be easier to do it before "the baby kicked her out". We had just moved to a new house with space for her to have her own room and felt that new house/new room would be a better association to make than new baby/out of mommy and daddy's bed.

But as I said its been a slow and gentle process with several months of no effort on our part to move her. She's slept all night in her own bed 6 of the last 9 nights and so we seem to have suddenly reached a breakthrough. Previously she joined us whenever she first woke, which for quite a while was around midnight. I had to night wean her a while ago as I got nursing aversion when pregnant which never has gone away and I just can't bear night nursing her.

 

[RosemaryBaby]

I think we might have room for a toddler bed in our room - that might work out well, at least as an initial gentle transition. Great idea, thanks! I don't know how it will go with night nursing, but after 2+ years I think I'm ready for night weaning - at least decreasing the frequency or availability which might also help with the separate bed. I'm pretty much used to never having a full night's sleep, but I want her to have more sleep.

 

[RosemaryBaby]

BTW, Congrats on the breakthrough getting her to sleep in her own bed pretty consistently!

 

[LegoHouse]

I was still breastfeeding when I found out I was pregnant. He started to wean himself around 4 months (into my pregnancy) and a month later he wasn't nursing at all. About 2 weeks ago we put up his bed and I asked him where his bed was and he got into it. We sang some songs and he went to sleep. I can't believe how easily he's made these transitions himself. If he hadn't I think I would have been a bit nervous lol xxx

 

[RosemaryBaby]

I was still breastfeeding when I found out I was pregnant. He started to wean himself around 4 months (into my pregnancy) and a month later he wasn't nursing at all. About 2 weeks ago we put up his bed and I asked him where his bed was and he got into it. We sang some songs and he went to sleep. I can't believe how easily he's made these transitions himself. If he hadn't I think I would have been a bit nervous lol xxx

Oh I truly hope it comes that easy! She still needs nursing or holding to go to sleep though, so I don't think it will be so easy for us! I actually do love bedsharing and am considering getting a bigger bed as a possibility.

 

[AnneD]

Let us know how things go. I'm not even pregnant yet, but I'm really worried about this aspect because my child also nurses several times a night and goes to sleep on the breast and cuddled up. And we have no room for a toddler bed or even a side-carred crib in our bedroom.

Good luck!