What to tell work...

[mrsmax]

Hi lovely ladies and hugs to all suffering.

Just found out at 9.5 weeks that I have a missed miscarriage. Told work on Monday that I needed to work from home as some medical stuff going on - was waiting for scan following spotting.

Probably going for surgery option so will want a week off but what doni tell work? I have quite a high powered job and usually work from home even when I'll but I want to switch off completely to allow emotional recovery....sigh

 

[c beary83]

I've got the same dilemma. I've told my boss but will tell colleagues its medical and I don't want to talk about it not sure what else I can say

 

[mrsmax]

Cbeary sorry for your loss. It sucks doesn't it. Did you tell your boss over the phone? I can't face that so considering an email but seems unprofessional. just never thought I would be worrying about this.

 

[c beary83]

No - I emailed. I know what you mean about being unprofessional- I prefer to do things over the phone or face to face but this one was too hard

She came back and was really nice about it. It's so awful. I've not told anyone about the pregnancy - not even parents so to have to tell everyone this news is so sad.

Hope it goes well for you xxx

 

[mrsmax]

Thanks. Yes I think I will do an email too. Easier than a phone call and my boss is a guy so he wouldn't know what to say...

 

[Rinaz]

First off, I'm sorry for all of your losses and heartache. It's absolutely awful what you're going through.

I work with a small group of people so it was impossible to keep my loss from them. I started to miscarry naturally on Sunday so I went in early Monday morning (before anyone else got there) to pick up what I'd need to work from home and left a note for my boss. It's been really nice to have their support and to have a work distraction at home. It's physically and mentally painful but keeping yourself busy is really helpful.

 

[mrsmax]

Thanks Rinaz. I think I will work from home once had dc.

 

[londonangel]

I miscarried and I told my boss. He was wonderful about it. If you tell them they will probably be more understanding than if you just say it is 'medical matters'. In my second pregnancy I had to tell my boss I was pregnant when I was six weeks along as had a bleed and thought miscarriage imminent though glad to report the 'miscarriage' started school a few weeks ago. Miscarriage is more common than people realise but I am sure your boss will sympathise.

 

[LouOscar01]

I've taken a month off and have been honest with work. Even with colleagues asking if I'm ok. I kind of felt that I wanted people to know my baby had existed.

I'm a teacher so can't work from home, but my job is so emotionally demanding it's not possible to do how I currently feel.

I'm hoping I'll feel more able to return once we are 'trying' again. This limbo is hard. Positive pregnancy tests but no pregnancy. Ugh.

 

[Sophiejash]

I only miscarried a few weeks ago (17th sept) I was completely honest with work and they have been great about it. I have returned now and I talk openly about with them, it actually has made it a little easier for me plus I also want to acknowledge my baby existed, I don't want to cover it up like a horrible secret. It was my baby and part of me, I never want to forget that, it'll always be in my heart and I'll always want to be open about the fact it existed, even if it was only for a few weeks, it was completely real to me.
Sorry for all of your loses xx

 

[mrsmax]

Thank you everyone. I told my boss and they sent ne a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Feel much better and supported having been honest.