What would be comforting?

[Keera1Aiden2]

Hi there first off I would like to say how sorry I am for all of you that have experienced a loss of a child, no one should ever have to go through that. I personally have not lost a child but my dear little cousin did about 5 days ago ( she lost her daughter at 23 weeks due to Turner Syndrome). I'm making the 7 hour long drive to see her this weekend to be supportive and attend the memorial she has set up. But my question is and hopefully it won't be too hard for all you strong ladies, is what is the right and wrong thing to say so to speak, i want to be supportive but don't want to offend or hurt her. I also wanted to get her a gift but don't know what is appropriate and also not appropriate. I thought that since you had experience with this that maybe you could help me. If not as it might be too hard to reply I understand. Thank you in advance for anything help you can give me.

 

[Leilani]

Tell her how sorry you, and let her know you are there for her and if she wants to talk about it you are there to listen.

I certainly appreciated my friends who asked if I wanted to talk about it way more than those who came to visit but didn't ask about Timothy. Having said that, one friend who skirted the issue at the time is probably the only one who still refers to him by name!

Flowers, a house plant or a rose bush (for remembrance) are all good gifts. Another friend gave me a lovely notebook and pen to use to write down my thoughts and feelings.

 

[Mrs W 11]

My loss was at 12 weeks so a little different, but my sister sent me a 'love parcel' which contained things to cheer me up, a book she knew I wanted, a big bag of maltesears, bubble bath. Maybe you could make up a similar love package?

My husband bought me a charm for my pandora bracelet but that's more something they will choose for themselves I guess. Xx