Difficult one...
BUT (personally) I think that you are right to bite your tongue. I often tell my husband off for reading my emails...
He isn't worried about cheating, he is just a nosey b*gger and wants to know what is going on...
. Although I have nothing to hide, I dislike my privacy being invaded. Everyone is allowed a little privacy.
To be honest, the comment on his phone sounds like "harmless flirting". I don't mean "I want to get into bed with you" flirting, I mean "harmless compliment paying". Harmless flirting (providing it goes no further) in the office is not uncommon at all and it actually makes places more plesnt to work in (it is nice to get the occassional compliment about your top or your perfume).
PLUS the woman from the message is talkign about her boyfriend.... always good.
HOWEVER if you are worried about your OH being "distant" these past few months, then that IS something that you want to tackle. Pregnancy can be a difficult time for men (a LOT to come to terms with), but after the child is actually born can be a LOT harder. So pregnancy (assuming this is your first?) is an essential opportunity to get "as close as you can" to your OH AND to prepare him for afterwards: so the arrival of the child is not something that he is dreading and so he doesn't feel "even more pushed out" after the birth.
So this is a potentially difficult time for him and it wont become easier after the birth...
I would say "go on the attack" - remind him what you have and start him looking forward to your new arrival. LOTS of quality time with OH now (romantic nights in, "date night" etc). Also start him bonding with the baby. I encourage my husband to talk to my belly, kiss my belly (he always kissed it good night, goodbye in the mornings and often when he gets home), we have a nickname for the baby and we talk about him, I often say that "Binky" (sorry, stupid nickname
) loves him loads. I make sure that husband is involved 100% in everything to do with baby (including what we buy etc). That he knows, 100%, that this is "OUR baby" (and not "my baby" ).
So I think that this thread is completely to do with baby.... Try to stop invading his privacy (it isn't good for him or for you) and just concentrate on two things:
- you and him (remind him how wonderful you are together and that this WILL NOT stop, one way or another, after the baby is born).
- him, baby and you as a family group (get him really used to, comfortable with and even looking forward to baby arriving). Many men can feel "pushed out and isolated" when a baby is born - that can be a dangerous time.
That is what I would do anyway. From what you have said, doesn't sound like your OH is "playing away" (just being harmlessly flirted with). The way to keep him is not to invade his privacy and make a big things about it. The way to keep him is to show him how amazing you are and what a great thing having a family will be.
Beat wishes
QT