What would you do?

[Jbree]

I have a beautiful 5 month old daughter. And we would love to have another. Im really broody and my dh would have the next anytime.

But I want to wait for a few reasons
I want about a 2ish year age gap.
I know this will be my last pregnancy and I dont want them to be all over in like 18months
- i still have a but weight to loose.
- i want to enjoy my daughter growing for a while.

The problem is ideally i would like to start trying next summer but im my best friends bm march 2017 which means i could be heavily pregnant - which isnt ideal i would rather not be her bm if that was the case. But i can't really say to her just now "oh i cant be your bm as i might be pregnant"

What would you do? Try just a couple of months before or wait till after? X

 

[MindUtopia]

This is totally based on just my own feelings and experience, but I would enjoy your daughter and wait until you feel you're ready to share yourself with another child, irrespective of your friend's wedding. My daughter is 2.5 now and I'm really just hitting the point when I would be ready to have another baby (so very much not like you in that I was ready at only 5 months - at 5 months, I was still thinking, what the heck did we get ourselves into?!). I found the time between 8 and 12 months to be really challenging, so I don't think I would have been ready to TTC then, but I have really, really enjoyed the toddler years so far. I don't think I'd be enjoying it as much if I had been pregnant or had another baby already (like you, our second will be our last). I would probably have been ready this past summer to TTC, but actually my work life is such that I can't take any time off until at least next winter, so that's meant we've had to wait longer than we'd like (will have a 4 year age gap by then). So I would say enjoy your baby and enjoy it just being the three of you for now and make the most of it, but also don't change your plans around for anyone else. If your friend wants you in her wedding, be there and support her (assuming it's safe for you to travel or it's close to home), but don't plan around her. Honestly, anything could happen between now and then (gosh, one of my close friends broke off her engagement after she sent out the invites with only a few weeks to go!), and I'd put your needs and plans before hers. If it ends up being a conflict, just be honest with her and let her decide what works best for her.

 

[Jbree]

Thanks for your response. Your probably right about waiting. Its just i feel that we dont really have an excuse to wait other than age gap of preference. My husbad keeps telling me its only one day! And having a baby is the rest of our lives. Think i might just wait till dd is one then see how we feel then? X

 

[krissie328]

I felt ready at about 5 months. Well sorta. I wasn't opposed to the idea, nor was I want to jump right into it either. So we waited thinking we would be ready when he was one. Well about 10 months he got so active and demanding. I am so thankful I wasn't pregnant with a toddler, who is still very much a baby. I now want to wait until he is about 2 to aim for a 2.5-3 year age gap. I am hoping he will be able to communicate his needs better and have better independence and understanding if mommy doesn't feel good or if the baby needs to be cared for at that moment. Enjoy your daughter as a baby. They really are little for such a short period. Somehow my baby is now 16 months old!!! It has gone to fast and I wish I would have savored him more and less worrying about getting pregnant.

 

[emicakess]

Hey hun. Not much advice. I started feeling broody when my daughter was that age. She is 15 months now and we've ntnp the past few cycles but now we are going to wait a few cycles to TTC. I figure the older DD is the easier things will be to have two. But I am so broody and I have been for months. So i feel you! I agree with Krissie though, once babies turn into toddlers they become much more physically and mentally demanding (easier in someways and harder in some ways, atleast for me)