What's with STUPID comments from MIL!!!!

[xpinkyperkyx]

You're exactly like me hun.

My MIL is nice but she really annoys me when it comes to LO.

She always comes in and says "hello my baby, my/granny's little angel, my darling, my sweetpea etc. etc." I just feel like she's MINE (and OH's) not anyone else. I can see her itching to hold her when she's sleeping and when I'm feeding her she always distracts her and ruins the feed (Macy has significant reflux and a cow's milk allergy and feeds are very stressful and difficult, I'd rather do them on my own). She also tells me what to do with her, how to hold her etc. and if I'm playing with her and her t-shirt is riding up her back or something she has to come and fuss and fix it. Also how to dress her, I just want to shout "I've had her for 3 months, I know how to ****ing look after her you moron".

She also has an opinion on everything - her reflux, milk allergy, her weight gain, her immunisations, TV, weaning etc. She's MY child and I'll do things my way not hers!!

I know it's ridiculous but I can't help that it really really annoys me.

I also get jealous when MIL holds her or gets smiles from her or anything, I often wonder if she gets them easier than me lol.

Weirdly, I don't feel this way about my own Mum at all and I love seeing my Mum giving Macy cuddles and playing with her :-S

I find myself getting really defensive and not wanting her involved which I know is unfair.

this was exactly what hwppened/how i felt when molly was born-soooo hard to keep my mouth shut!! our problem was that we only had tiny house and DH has 4 children that we have every weekend so had to go to MIL's as not enough room at ours so she was always poking her bloody nose it and over-riding us when we saif the kids had to fininsh meals or weren't allowed to have a second choc bar-just little things but it drove me crazy!

in the end i got DH to have a word with her to back of and she did for a while, but then she started on at me once molls was around 4 months becuase she kept sucking her fists-MIL would say 'ah you're starving that poor little mite' or 'give her some water love' or she much be hungry lookat her sucking her hands.' and i was like 'no, she's just fed an hour ago, she's playing!'

now we have charlie it's stareted again, i feel like of she makes one more comment about feeding i'm gonna scream#! for gods sake i work in a nursery with babies and i have 2 children i know how to look after them!!!!

so you're not alone and thank god for forums like this where we can all rant and scream together! x

 

[stardust599]

You're exactly like me hun.

My MIL is nice but she really annoys me when it comes to LO.

She always comes in and says "hello my baby, my/granny's little angel, my darling, my sweetpea etc. etc." I just feel like she's MINE (and OH's) not anyone else. I can see her itching to hold her when she's sleeping and when I'm feeding her she always distracts her and ruins the feed (Macy has significant reflux and a cow's milk allergy and feeds are very stressful and difficult, I'd rather do them on my own). She also tells me what to do with her, how to hold her etc. and if I'm playing with her and her t-shirt is riding up her back or something she has to come and fuss and fix it. Also how to dress her, I just want to shout "I've had her for 3 months, I know how to ****ing look after her you moron".

She also has an opinion on everything - her reflux, milk allergy, her weight gain, her immunisations, TV, weaning etc. She's MY child and I'll do things my way not hers!!

I know it's ridiculous but I can't help that it really really annoys me.

I also get jealous when MIL holds her or gets smiles from her or anything, I often wonder if she gets them easier than me lol.

Weirdly, I don't feel this way about my own Mum at all and I love seeing my Mum giving Macy cuddles and playing with her :-S

I find myself getting really defensive and not wanting her involved which I know is unfair.

this was exactly what hwppened/how i felt when molly was born-soooo hard to keep my mouth shut!! our problem was that we only had tiny house and DH has 4 children that we have every weekend so had to go to MIL's as not enough room at ours so she was always poking her bloody nose it and over-riding us when we saif the kids had to fininsh meals or weren't allowed to have a second choc bar-just little things but it drove me crazy!

in the end i got DH to have a word with her to back of and she did for a while, but then she started on at me once molls was around 4 months becuase she kept sucking her fists-MIL would say 'ah you're starving that poor little mite' or 'give her some water love' or she much be hungry lookat her sucking her hands.' and i was like 'no, she's just fed an hour ago, she's playing!'

now we have charlie it's stareted again, i feel like of she makes one more comment about feeding i'm gonna scream#! for gods sake i work in a nursery with babies and i have 2 children i know how to look after them!!!!

so you're not alone and thank god for forums like this where we can all rant and scream together! x

Yeah, I absolutely hate being told what to do - I guess I'm still like a teenager and whenever it happens I want to do the exact opposite lol. My OH thinks his mother is fabulous so I haven't said anything.

I get the fist sucking thing too, and if LO makes the slightest cry my MIL always says she's hungry when I know she's not. Or she repeatedly pats/rubs her back saying she must have wind. Lol, it's annoying but I try to just let her get on with it unless LO is getting upset. I talk to her under my breath sometimes and I'm sure she's noticed haha xx

 

[RinnaRoo]

IDK what the problem is with MILs, but I do think that some of the ladies on here need to be a little more understanding. Now granted, there are some crazy ones out there, and maybe Im a little lax, but understand that its a grandchild! Think about how excited they are to spend time with them, and have cuddles. They love them a whole lot too! I dont see anything wrong with the MIL threads half the time, and I think most of the problem is sometimes as women we can get a little sensitive.
Grandparents usually want to cherish their time with the grandchildren, its a new life to their family, its their sons child. How could they not be itching to spend time with the LOs.
I think that to help make life a little easier for those that say they have evil MILs, just let the little stuff roll off. If its a consistent problem and you are honestly offended, you should have the gill to say something to her. She is going to be a part of your life whether you like it or not, and if you have a problem with how shes acting, then let her know!
Just an opinion and if I offended you then sorry.

 

[Naturalmystic]

Wow I must say that I am very fortunate that I do not feel this way about my MIL. I accept the fact that this is what they live for their that their kids and grand kids. I actually like to see MIL fuss over LO and when she offers advice sometimes I take it and sometimes I ignore her. Then again my MIL is not pushy. What upsets me is when my friend who has a baby 8mths before me gives me advice and has opinions on how I am raising LO. This infuriates me because she acts like she has all this experience. I could handle my MIL advice because she raised DH and I my opinion she did a fantastic job but as for my friend I have no idea how her kid will turn out so don't tell me I should not be co sleeping.

 

[iHeartbaby#1]

IDK what the problem is with MILs, but I do think that some of the ladies on here need to be a little more understanding. Now granted, there are some crazy ones out there, and maybe Im a little lax, but understand that its a grandchild! Think about how excited they are to spend time with them, and have cuddles. They love them a whole lot too! I dont see anything wrong with the MIL threads half the time, and I think most of the problem is sometimes as women we can get a little sensitive.
Grandparents usually want to cherish their time with the grandchildren, its a new life to their family, its their sons child. How could they not be itching to spend time with the LOs.
I think that to help make life a little easier for those that say they have evil MILs, just let the little stuff roll off. If its a consistent problem and you are honestly offended, you should have the gill to say something to her. She is going to be a part of your life whether you like it or not, and if you have a problem with how shes acting, then let her know!
Just an opinion and if I offended you then sorry.

We understand that we SHOULD be more understanding...i do at least. That's WHY i don't say anything to her because i know its not fair of me and i know that she has every right to fuss over her grandchild. But i think that since were the mothers, we carried them for 9 months, and we know our children better than anyone we like to be the ones in control. This forum is our way of being honest and getting things off our chest...

 

[elephant29]

I think most of us understand our feelings are irrational. It doesn't stop us from having them though. Ive said I know mil is just a proud gran and adores Lo. I know its my issue. I would never ever say something to her as I know id be hurting her feelings when she's done nothing wrong.

Xxx

 

[hodbert]

I thought this forum was the place to air things like this? We all know we are irrational crazy hormonal women at the mo and i think most of us said our MILs are great, we just get infuriated!

 

[Mantha]

Thanks for all the replies ladies atleast i know im not going crazy and not the only one!! An ladies that think we should be more understanding, i understand what u mean. But i cant help the way i feel, i wish i could. But i havent carried my son for 9 month to have MIL tell me what to do with MY son. Yeah shes had her kids and shes done a great job with OH. But even so it doesnt give her the right to butt in. She should be happy enough to see him. This is my first baby and i love him to bits, i just want him to know who his mummy is and not have his grandma acting like his mum. An the fact she's had kids of her own should maybe make them understand!!! Especially my MIL she had her daughter taken away from her by her own mother. I get that we all have our own views on these things. But we cnt help if we have issues, at least we can see that ourselves and admit it.
xxx

 

[WanaBaba]

Hey hun, im also having some issues with my MIL, i made a thread the other day all about it named 'really need to vent' which explains most of it.

I am so glad i am not the only one out there that has these feelings about their MIL's! I wish i could understand why i feel this way as we have always got on SO well but i just get all these jealous feelings when she's with my LO And like others have said i dont get them with my own mother....strange!


I do feel bad for feeling this way and when i was pregnant i was really looking forward to my child having a great relationship with my MIL just as i always have, and those first few days home with LO i found it so hard and was so thankfull for MILs help with everything, housework, LO etc, which makes me feel even worse for feeling this way

However i do think i have some right to feel this way as i do feel like MIL is taking over a bit.... she works 1 day on 1 day off so comes over almost every other day, which i dont really mind as like spending time with her its just that it kind of feels like she takes over the care of my baby. She feeds her, changes her, holds her ect and i dont feel asthough i can actually ask for her back....
also lately she has started coming over and telling me that she is taking my LO out for the day, without actually asking me.
I dont know what to do with all these feelings, i dont wanna fall out with my MIL as i love her but sometimes it really does get me down

I feel so bad writing about this on a forum but i honestly havnt got anyone else to talk to it about and really need to as its getting me down quite a bit

 

[hodbert]

However i do think i have some right to feel this way as i do feel like MIL is taking over a bit.... she works 1 day on 1 day off so comes over almost every other day, which i dont really mind as like spending time with her its just that it kind of feels like she takes over the care of my baby. She feeds her, changes her, holds her ect and i dont feel asthough i can actually ask for her back....
also lately she has started coming over and telling me that she is taking my LO out for the day, without actually asking me.
I dont know what to do with all these feelings, i dont wanna fall out with my MIL as i love her but sometimes it really does get me down

I feel so bad writing about this on a forum but i honestly havnt got anyone else to talk to it about and really need to as its getting me down quite a bit

I totally understand how you feel, we live in america and our families are in uk os obv wont see Holly v often. OH parents have been over for 3 weeks and for the first week they would watch holly first thing in morn and let me go back to bed for a sleep, which was great, but they would take Holly out for a walk whilst I was sleeping. It was horrid to wake up one morn and my baby had gone - she was only 3 weeks old! I knew she was safe, it just wasnt a nice feeling. I would also hear mil say to fil lets take the baby out for a walk, but they never asked me! So I spoke to OH through a few tears, and he had a word with them and they've asked me since then. I felt v guilty about it though, as I know they were well-intentioned, but if it makes you unhappy you have to say something. Its been a lot better since then and they never said anything to me about it. Even if your mil does sulk though, she'll get over it and you'll feel better in the long run. I would speak to your OH hun

 

[mommy2lilmen]

I know how you feel!
My MIL is sweet and will bend over backwards for her grandchildren, but when it comes to my older 4 she pays no attention at times, well atleast I feel she doesnt. When its her biological grandsons from me, (the younger 2) she will love and hug and play with but it upsets me. I feel she should do same with the others. I know silly. She also lets my lo do what ever he pleases, climb couch, grab pens, play with scissors ANYTHING and it upsets me. I am an OCD person and very strict, and it over steps my parenting and she just laughs. Literally. Then says oh come here to grandma. Like I matter nothing. She is a loving person and I wont hate her but it just drives me batty. I hope it doesnt get in the way in the future. Also I am jealous I dont see my mom, my mom has issues and I wish she would stop. Having my MIL around as much is causing my own mother to not feel comfy to be around her own grandchildren and I am a jealous little brat cus of it. I am not proud of it. Speaking of In Laws. I am growing this anger towards my DH/OH cus hes got BOTH his parents and I dont. I find myself bashing his dad to him and then crying cus I dont have my own. I am such a horrible person.