When are you telling your older children?

[AngelofTroy]

I'm curious. We have a nearly 3 year old who is desperate for us to have a baby. He understands about babies growing in mummys' tummies and when we told him his aunty was having a baby he said, "oh! I've ALWAYS wanted a baby!"

I'm wondering when we tell him that we're expecting. I guess to be safe we should wait until the 12 week scan? That seems so long away! And as we're telling family soon I'm worried he'll hear something from someone else and realise.

When did you/will you tell your older children?

 

[lace&pearls]

That's so cute!!
My daughter is 3.5 and we're waiting until the scan. She sounds a bit like your son in that she gets babies grow in mummie's tummies, we've had a couple babies born in the family in the last year so it's quite recent for her. She's also asked me for a sister a few times lol
But if we tell her before she will tell everyone! I won't be able to explain its a secret you can't tell anyone lol.
But for other people this may not be an issue - I think it's a very personal decision we're v private and aren't telling family until after scan have only told my sister and OH's brother.
Also another thing I considered, not meaning to be negative but if God forbid (touch wood it doesn't) something was to happen I don't think my daughter would understand very well.

 

[Marumi]

My son is 4 and I told him both times when I felt I conceived and had first signs of pregnancy (always right for me).
When the first one ended in a miscarriage I told him the baby was gone and later that there is a new baby...I am really not good at sugar coating things and was not raised that way either but he does perfectly well with it.
He loves coming along to Ultrasound appointments.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

We told DD right away, although I'm not sure she quite understands what it really means just yet.

We make all the appointments/scans a family thing, so she's already been to both of my appointments and first scan to see her sibling.

 

[frangi33]

lace&pearls that's exactly what we're going to do and how we feel. Marumi that's cool that your LO can come with you, in the UK they frown upon kids going to the scan but I'd love for our DD to come, might do a 3D scan with her after the first scan if all goes well.

 

[Christie2011]

I told both my two year olds (one is almost three) right away. My younger DS I think is already more attached than my almost 3 year old is. He will tell the babies to grows (twins) and tonight he was giving them kisses (all on his own) and he loves to remind me there are two.

 

[MissCherry15]

I have a 6yr old daughter and a 2 almost 3 yr old son. We have discussed the idea of having a baby with them. They both want us to have one and both want a bloody girl lol. id rather another boy oh well see what we get xD
Anyway we told them we are going to try our best to put a baby into mummies belly we wont be telling them till after 12weeks as i am always prone to mcs xx

 

[minties]

I told everyone right away, though Thomas was only little. Er, I can't even remember how old he was...15 months? I would tell a 3 year old right away .

 

[laila 44]

My eldest is 4 and for some odd reason keeps asking if I have a baby in my tummy?? So strange. We haven't said a word to her and won't until 12 weeks...

 

[tturner]

We have decided to wait until after our 12 week scan due to having had a MMC in May

Our little boy is 4 and really wants a brother or sister and understands they grow in mummies tummy xxx

 

[dani_tinks]

We told Jacob after the 12 week scan when we could explain a bit better and show him the scan photos.

 

[Marumi]

lace&pearls that's exactly what we're going to do and how we feel. Marumi that's cool that your LO can come with you, in the UK they frown upon kids going to the scan but I'd love for our DD to come, might do a 3D scan with her after the first scan if all goes well.

Too bad bringing your kid is frowned upon...I mean what do they expect? Sometimes mothers have no one to watch their offspring. All doctors were very nice and delighted by his presence I felt...brought my husband too recently .

 

[Twinks]

We told our 3 year 4 month son straight away. Even though he understands he has no concept of time and only ever occasionally mentions baby so if anything were to happen we would be able to get around it no probs. plus I'm quite sick so I didn't want him to worry why I was ill quite so much!

 

[karlilay]

Just came on to ask this exact question. Mine are nearly 7 and 4 (5 in Jan). I found out on Tuesday, and it's killing me not telling them. My daughter especially as she is insane about babies. I know it's her biggest dream come true, that why I want to wait, just to make sure everything is ok. God forbid anything went wrong she would be literally heartbroken, and she's such a sensitive child it will be awful for her. Hoping to tell them after 12 week scan.

 

[missbabes]

My son has only just 2 and we've been telling him about his new brother or sister in mummy's tummy since I got my BFP. Don't think he really understands though

 

[angelmum31]

I told my dd after I had a private scan at 11 weeks and she came to 12 week scan. I am in UK and they didnt mind me taking her at all (suppose all hospitals are different) - she will also come to my 20 week scan. She is super excited and kisses my tummy constantly! She is 3.5 years old x

 

[Aneesa_09]

I'll tell the kids when I'm ready for them to tell everyone else

They like to tell their aunties an uncles everything

 

[Lynys1980]

My four year old daughter found out when I was 7 weeks because I had to have an ultrasound and had to bring her. I had about 30 ultrasounds with her, so she has seen ultrasound pictures and knows what they are for, so she asked me, because she's a smart kid. I told her it was secret and not to tell anyone though, and she didn't. She wouldn't even talk to daddy about it. I felt comfortable with telling her though because the ultrasound showed a heartbeat and everything looked good. I think it depends on the kid tbh.

 

[Blackrain90]

Told my 2 year old as soon as we found out. He doesn't seem to fully understand or care, but now and then he will run up to me and kiss my lower tummy, ridiculously adorable.

 

[Itsychik]

My oldest is 4 and we haven't told him yet. We have a scan on Thursday and we want to wait until then just to confirm that things are OK.

We've told DH's family though (while DS was there) and he just hasn't picked up on it yet. He knows I've been "really sick" lately though (he stands next to me as I'm throwing up all day long and asks if I need to go to the hospital) so it will be nice to have the confirmation on Thursday to at least give him a concrete reason why I'm sick, instead of just telling him I'm not feeling well.

DD is 19 months and she won't understand, but we'll tell her on Friday when we tell DS.