When did you tell your other kid(s)?

[wondertwins]

I have an 11 year old son from my first marriage. He is the sweetest, most considerate kid a parent could ever hope for -- a little prince who is incredibly protective of his mama. I know he's going to make a great big brother.

But for some reason, I have this huge anxiety/fear about telling him I'm pregnant. I'm afraid that if I tell him, something bad will happen and he'll be the most heartbroken of all. (He's wanted to be a brother for as long as I can remember). But I'm also afraid that once I tell him, something will be lost forever: that special us-against-the-world bond that we've shared since after my divorce from his father. I know I'm being irrational, but being irrational is what us pregnant women do best, right?

I'm 12 weeks, so at this point, most people who are close to me know. And since I'm having twins, I won't be able to hide it for long. So... when did you tell your older kids? How did you tell them?

 

[MamaD]

I have a 10 y/o, 12 y/o, 15, and almost 18. I took a pregnancy test, then couldn't stop screaming/laughing/crying, so they found out when I did. I did warn them it was early days, but figured if anything did happen, they would need to know and understand why I was so upset. From the beginning, it's been "our" Baby, not mine. My youngest hugs my bump goodnight, and kisses it, too.....xxx.......He's so excited, as they all are, my my youngest the most!

 

[wondertwins]

I have a 10 y/o, 12 y/o, 15, and almost 18. I took a pregnancy test, then couldn't stop screaming/laughing/crying, so they found out when I did. I did warn them it was early days, but figured if anything did happen, they would need to know and understand why I was so upset. From the beginning, it's been "our" Baby, not mine. My youngest hugs my bump goodnight, and kisses it, too.....xxx.......He's so excited, as they all are, my my youngest the most!

Ha ha ha. That is very sweet that they were able to share that moment of excitement with you. I also like the concept of "our" baby. I think I'll use that too. It might be helpful for making my son feel more included which is something I've worried about since he's now going to be a part of a blended family.

 

[MamaD]

Yes, my 4 are from a previous marriage, as well. Xx I have a feeling your son will be over the moon when he hears your news. Xx

 

[BeachComber]

I waited to tell my other kids until after my first appt. and U/S. They were all thrilled and are so excited! We call the baby "our baby" too, and they have all had fun making up cute stories about what the baby might be up to at any given moment, like eating, sleeping etc.

 

[wondertwins]

I waited to tell my other kids until after my first appt. and U/S. They were all thrilled and are so excited! We call the baby "our baby" too, and they have all had fun making up cute stories about what the baby might be up to at any given moment, like eating, sleeping etc.

Awww. Imagining what baby is doing is sweet. For us, I bet it would take a turn for the absurd (since my DS has a hilariously creative imagination). Perhaps I should give my son one of the U/S pictures I get. That might make it more real for him.

 

[BeachComber]

Yes, that is a great idea! I also showed the kids one of the U/S scan pictures so they could also see baby and that did make it more real!

As for good imaginations, my kids are the same, and have said the funniest things about what the baby might be doing. My 5 year old said he thought there was a couch in my tummy that the baby sits on all day and that baby eats cheese crackers all day long, ha!

That is just one of the many funny things, but I think even this helps them to all bond with baby more!

 

[happymamma]

From the words you used to describe your son, sounds like he will be excited to hear your pregnant! The sooner the better also, so he can share the next 2 trimesters with you. Make a new bond with him! Along with the old one of course.

When I became pregnant with my 2nd, I actually got quite upset at times thinking I wouldn't have as much time for my 1st, or we would grow some distance. That wasn't true. A bond is a bond, these strongs bonds we have with our kids can't be broken, imo. They just get stronger. Try not to stress too much, you will see, everything will be just fine!

As for being irrational because we're pregnant? I couldn't agree more at times

 

[wondertwins]

From the words you used to describe your son, sounds like he will be excited to hear your pregnant! The sooner the better also, so he can share the next 2 trimesters with you. Make a new bond with him! Along with the old one of course.

When I became pregnant with my 2nd, I actually got quite upset at times thinking I wouldn't have as much time for my 1st, or we would grow some distance. That wasn't true. A bond is a bond, these strongs bonds we have with our kids can't be broken, imo. They just get stronger. Try not to stress too much, you will see, everything will be just fine!

As for being irrational because we're pregnant? I couldn't agree more at times

Thank you, happymamma. You have me convinced! My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow, and I'll get a new pic of the little ones. (For some reason, my doctor does a U/S at every single appointment -- I'm not complaining!) Perhaps this weekend, I'll take my son to a special mommy/son dinner to tell him and let him have the picture. I know he'll be happy.

 

[jo14]

im thinking after my first scan, my 3 are from a previous marriage, i think my boys 9 and 6 will take it OK and HOPEFULLY be excited, but I know my daugher has suspitions already she is 15 as i stupidly left a IC test out in bedroom, and the other day i peeked on her comp and she has been moaning to friends that if i am preg she is moving out and she would HATE another sibling and she has been horrible to me all week need to speak with her really but just dont know what to say

 

[Maple Leaf]

I told my 12 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son quite early as we were going on a family road trip down to Disneyland and I knew I'd be throwing up every morning - I didn't want them to think there was something seriously wrong. My daughter was and still is super excited. My son just wanted a dog instead! Lol

Jo- it's a tough call, I think you will know when is the right time, teenagers are a breed on their own. I would be honest with your daughter as she has suspicions anyway. I have learnt that some of the things they moan about online aren't necessarily their own opinions....you might be pleasantly surprised. Fingers crossed for you love.