when is best to tell people?

[mummyvikki]

After a loss in July 2014 we are very scared to start telling people. I'm just over 5weeks now and feel 'pregnant' which is more than I can say for last year.
I've told my mom and my sister but my other says we shouldn't tell many more.
When would you all see suitable to tell people??xx

 

[spunky84]

Whenever you're comfortable! It has to be your decision, when you're most comfortable doing it.

With DD we waited until 13 weeks.

With this one, we told MIL and FIL at 8+1 as DH needed advice on a situation and they needed to have the whole picture.

Then I couldn't hold it in any longer, we told the rest of our families 9+2, and then everyone else later that same day.

You have to go with your comfort level. Telling early won't cause a miscarriage or make anything bad happen. On one hand, if something were to happen, it could mean a lot of support from people. Though on the other hand, for some people, the pain of having to tell people the bad news is just too much or they'd rather deal with it privately rather than having people constantly ask how they're doing.

It's a very personal decision, but you have to do what's best for the both of you and not what everyone else thinks you should do. If your OH wants to wait longer, maybe you can compromise?

 

[Bing28]

If you are worried about another loss and don't want to have to share such heartbreaking news with people then I would wait until you are 13 weeks and in the 2nd trimester. This is when the risk of a loss is reduced.

 

[mummyvikki]

He just doesn't want the upset of having to tell people that it's a loss again if it were to happen. I feel as you said that support would be more as it were last time. I really want to tell people (excluding my two children) as I don't think my children would understand if anything were to happen. But im going to speak with him about maybe telling immediate family and close friends xx

 

[Nisenitnyy]

It's definitely so personal and individual. We told our closest friends immediately and the kids at 4 weeks. Then we let them take over telling the rest of the world. We've waited longer in the past, but we just wanted to be excited already.

 

[Penguin20]

It's a personal choice and whenever you feel comfortable to tell people

My family know set for some of my younger siblings and my partner family knows, were telling friend after the 12 week scan fx all goes to plan

 

[orionfox]

We told imediate family and extended family and close friends etc by 6 weeks as we couldnt keep it in. But we wont be telling the test of other non close friends etc until at least 12 weeks. Im 9 weeks 6 days today and so far all is well. Like the others have said its all a comfort decision. There is no right or wrong time.

 

[Dill]

The risk of loss is greatly reduced once you've seen a heartbeat (something like 93% chance of survival, according to my nurse), which happens by 8 weeks or so, I think. That said, I doubt we'll be announcing until 10-12 weeks, by which point, the risk of loss drops even further. I couldn't have handled my last MCs if everyone had known about them. I'm not normally a very private person, but the MCs were deeply personal, to the point where I didn't let hubby tell his family that they happened at all, so I don't want to have to go through it with the world knowing I lost another one.

 

[Christi85]

I agree, it all depends on what makes you and hubby feel most comfortable.

We told our parents pretty much immediately, but told nobody else for weeks. Then after a good scan at 10 weeks, I told 3-4 close friends. We still haven't announced it to everyone, including family members. I have my NT scan at 13 weeks, so I'm thinking, once that is done and then we have the blood test results (hopefully good) a few days later, then we'll send out the pregnancy announcement e-card that hubby and I made a couple of weeks ago. By that time, I will likely be at the end of week 13/beginning of week 14, so second trimester. It feels safer for me this way, but like everyone else has said, it's very much a matter of personal preference.

Good luck with your pregnancy!

 

[tallybee]

I agree it's totally personal. Telling or not telling won't change the outcome but for me I'm more comfortable waiting til after the first scan which is booked for when I have calculated will be 12+3. I don't think I could cope with well meaning questions about the pregnancy if things weren't all good so want to see all is well and get to that stage before making it known. Also a bit scared of certain family members reactions which is stupid as I'm a 32 year old woman but there ya go. It's so hard keeping it quiet!

 

[ClaireJ23]

We told family early on with DD1 and I regretted it after experiencing a threatened miscarriage at 9 weeks. I felt that it would have been absolutely 10x worse to have to tell family about a miscarriage than wait longer to tell. Luckily, DD1 was fine and bleeding subsided.

That, of course, is personal to me. I don't like talking about personal medical-related things like that with my in-laws. I'm quite a private person and they tend to love the drama.

 

[xCherylx]

Agree with everyone else. We are waiting until our scan to make sure things are all ok before we tell everyone. I have however told best friend as she is pregnant too and I was supposed to be her bridesmaid in August I have also had to tell my boss due to migraines and leaving work early. Every situation us different