When to tell my son???

[K123]

Hi,

Was wondering when any of you on second or third pregnancies told your children about your pregnancy. I haven't mentioned it to my 3year old yet as I think he'd find it hard to wait til November to meet the baby, but at the same time am wondering if I should talk to him about it soon to explain why I'm tired and not picking up as much as I used to? Any suggestions of when to tell him?

 

[Susie28]

We told our little girl the day before we had our 12 weeks scan; she was 3 years and 9 months old at the time. We decided to tell her then because we wanted her to come to the scans with us and play a big part through the pregnancy, and she seemed at an age where she was able to understand what was going on and ask questions etc. She kept asking why I was tired and why I felt sick all the time so we knew it was a good time to tell her. Also she's very lively and kept jumping on my stomach, so for us, it was better to let her know and explain about all the changes going on.

I thought she might find it hard to understand how long a pregnancy can be and get really impatient asking when the baby is going to arrive but she's coped really well!

It's really up to you when you tell your son, depending on how much you think he will understand, but I do think it helps letting them know so they can get involved and get excited about having a new brother or sister. Maybe before you mention that mummy is having a new baby you could buy some story books about children getting a new brother or sister etc, just to slowly prepare him for it.

You may also want to consider how many months you can cope with being asked "when is the baby coming? when is the baby coming? when is the baby coming?" xx

 

[EmzyJA]

I told my daughter the day I found out. She's been fine waiting so far. Think she's enjoying seeing my tummy gradually get bigger and starting to get things in preparation. It also made it easier to explain why I've been tired and why I can't keep picking her up all the time etc.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

We told ours at about 13w.
Mine are 4.5yrs and 6.5yrs, way we said it was baby coming on fireworks night so they understand its awhile yet.
They keep saying baby needs to grow big first.

 

[K123]

Thank you. I think I'll probably tell him quite soon - but know I will be asked 10 times a day when baby is coming. Have ordered 'There's a house in my Mummy' for him to help explain (and because he's book obsessed anyway!)

 

[the why bird]

Don't know if this would work for your son, but I saw on someone's blog that they marked on a calendar when the baby was coming to help big sibling understand. They actually circled two weeks after the due date as that was the latest baby would arrive, and when she gave birth earlier than that, said the baby was too excited and couldn't wait to meet his big brother.

 

[Zeri]

My DD is 4.5 and I told her at 10 wks. I think she understands, but it's not 'real' for her yet. She understands not to jump on me or squeeze ir hit my belly too hard.

 

[NotNic]

My son is almost two and I won't be telling him until about 3mths before. I think he's old enough to understand (he has younger cousins) but I don't think he has a concept of time yet. We have started to encourage his interest in babies and will be working on preparing him - new room, potty training etc. before we mention a new baby, so that he doesn't feel pushed out. He doesn't like my midwife appts as he gets protective, so we won't be taking him to scans etc. Biggest challenge is everyone else who feels they should tell him what's in mummy's tummy.