Where did you make mom friends?

[marmoset]

So I live in a very small city and haven't made any close friends in the 6 years I've lived here.

I was hoping that the baby thing would bring some people out of the woodwork so to speak.

I've started going to the weekly Babies group at the library, but I don't feel like I'm really connecting with any of the other moms. I'll keep going of course, it's still nice to hang out with people and will be good for baby I'm sure.

Any ideas?

 

[broodymrs]

My NCT class was the only place I made friends who stuck around although we've moved now and drifted apart so I'm back to square one. My plan is to do baby classes like you are, and there's an app called mush that's supposed to be good for meeting mum's (uk)

 

[jessmke]

We live in a small town, it's actually a hamlet because it is too small to be classified as a town. I met mom friends mainly at the park and at play groups.

 

[broodymrs]

So I live in a very small city and haven't made any close friends in the 6 years I've lived here.

I was hoping that the baby thing would bring some people out of the woodwork so to speak.

I've started going to the weekly Babies group at the library, but I don't feel like I'm really connecting with any of the other moms. I'll keep going of course, it's still nice to hang out with people and will be good for baby I'm sure.

Any ideas?

Why don't you suggest going for s coffee afterwards? It only takes one person to reach out 😊

 

[Bevziibubble]

I went to quite a few different baby and toddler groups so I made a few acquaintances at those over time

 

[PitaKat]

I take my kids to the story time at the library too, but the only place I've made friends since becoming a mom is church.

 

[beccabonny]

I've heard church, mom's groups, and once the kids are in school, that's a big one, but I live in a small town too and haven't found a church that fits, so I'll probably just drift over to my SIL's friends since they live nearby. Maybe there are local or near local online groups you could join and chat with moms who live around and may know of more hotspots.

 

[caz_hills]

NCT worked for me incredibly well. I also met mums at toddler groups - it took a while to connect with people and I'm only in touch with one of them still. School helps a lot I've go founs for older kids as there are play dates and visits to the park X

 

[marmoset]

Thanks for the replies all

Yeah once he's a bit older I think that will help too with trips to the park and such.

You're right broodymrs, it does only take one person to reach out doesn't it. I'll try to keep that in mind.

Sometimes I feel like such an odd duck I'll never quite fit in. I was always shy/awkward and a bit of an outcast growing up, I'm more confident and outgoing now but I guess you never quite lose that sense that people are likely to find you a little bit weird haha.

I'll keep trying

 

[marmoset]

I just looked up NCT as I wasn't sure what that was, I'll have to try and figure out if there's an equivalent in Canada that might have a chapter here.

 

[minties]

I haven't had a female friend for probably a good 20 years! I've just swapped numbers with a mum at my sons school, she only wants to be friends so she can cuddle Emma, but that's ok. I have to try.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Mainly from school runs. It gets easier to make friends when you arrange play dates.

Red tent.

 

[dani_tinks]

I'm finding it hard. I'm very shy but I find most people are too. I've connected with a few Mums recently by being brave and being the one to ask if they'd like to stay in contact and meet up outside of the group.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Try mummysocial or the mush app x

 

[jessmke]

I find the only way to go from acquaintances to friends is to be uncomfortably forward, as in making plans to do something (a walk, play dates park meet up) within a day or two of meeting a person. I feel a bit 'desperate' and awkward doing it, but I have found it has always been well received and once you get together that initial time then it is much easier to make plans to see each other again. I think most moms are pretty starved for other mom friends so just reach out to them even if it means getting outside of your comfort zone and you will probably be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Witchrose]

To be honest, I'm kind of confused on why anyone needs to seek "mum" friends, specifically. I only have one friend who happens to also be a mother and she lives in a different country. Here, all my friends are childless and likely to remain so. And any new friends I might make in the future will be because of shared interests and because our personalities mesh, not because they happen to have children or not.

I know you said you live in a small town, but maybe you could research what clubs/activities might go on? Like if you enjoy reading, see if there is a book club? Or start your own? Workout/dance classes at a gym? Or maybe there's a community college where you could audit a class on a subject that interests you? And there could be someone there who you could strike up a conversation with...

 

[.Mrs.B.]

To be honest, I'm kind of confused on why anyone needs to seek "mum" friends, specifically. I only have one friend who happens to also be a mother and she lives in a different country. Here, all my friends are childless and likely to remain so. And any new friends I might make in the future will be because of shared interests and because our personalities mesh, not because they happen to have children or not.
I know you said you live in a small town, but maybe you could research what clubs/activities might go on? Like if you enjoy reading, see if there is a book club? Or start your own? Workout/dance classes at a gym? Or maybe there's a community college where you could audit a class on a subject that interests you? And there could be someone there who you could strike up a conversation with...

Mum friends will come to soft play with you and their kids keep yours entertained.
I barely get a word in edgeways when my non mum friends are up as my son is too busy talking to them. Also, mum friends are usually off in the week so have plenty of time to meet up.

I'm not naturally forward and used to be quite shy, but I have been to a variety of groups since my 4 year old was born and put a lot of effort into arranging meet ups which have turned into long term friendships. It is awkward at first, kind of like asking someone on a date, lol, but as your kids grow together you end up having a lot in common.

 

[marmoset]

To be honest, I'm kind of confused on why anyone needs to seek "mum" friends, specifically. I only have one friend who happens to also be a mother and she lives in a different country. Here, all my friends are childless and likely to remain so. And any new friends I might make in the future will be because of shared interests and because our personalities mesh, not because they happen to have children or not.

I know you said you live in a small town, but maybe you could research what clubs/activities might go on? Like if you enjoy reading, see if there is a book club? Or start your own? Workout/dance classes at a gym? Or maybe there's a community college where you could audit a class on a subject that interests you? And there could be someone there who you could strike up a conversation with...

Yeah, I guess 'mom friends' appeals to me because we'd have a lot of the same availability/limitations - not sure how I'd bring a 3 month old to a community college class for example! And being available during the daytime which is when I'm alone with baby etc.

It's not that I'm trying to limit things either, just, I was hoping this new life stage would open up some new friendship possibilities you know?

 

[marmoset]

Thanks for all the suggestions to be the awkward/forward one... and here I thought after I got married my days of "ah... so... do you want to maybe hang out sometime? *blush/die inside*" were over. Alas!

 

[Witchrose]

To be honest, I'm kind of confused on why anyone needs to seek "mum" friends, specifically. I only have one friend who happens to also be a mother and she lives in a different country. Here, all my friends are childless and likely to remain so. And any new friends I might make in the future will be because of shared interests and because our personalities mesh, not because they happen to have children or not.

I know you said you live in a small town, but maybe you could research what clubs/activities might go on? Like if you enjoy reading, see if there is a book club? Or start your own? Workout/dance classes at a gym? Or maybe there's a community college where you could audit a class on a subject that interests you? And there could be someone there who you could strike up a conversation with...

Yeah, I guess 'mom friends' appeals to me because we'd have a lot of the same availability/limitations - not sure how I'd bring a 3 month old to a community college class for example! And being available during the daytime which is when I'm alone with baby etc.

It's not that I'm trying to limit things either, just, I was hoping this new life stage would open up some new friendship possibilities you know?

Oh, yeah. I get that it can be difficult to get out to certain places when you have a young child. I was just thinking if you had some free time when they were in school/daycare or your OH/other could watch them that those might be fun things that you might want to explore as avenues to meeting nice people who might share your interests. Really, i was just thinking to look at ideas beyond *just* "mommy" related things.