Where is all my unsolicited advice? What should I be doing??!

[MamaLoCo]

A lot of people like to complain about getting unsolicited advice while they're pregnant - so much that people warn you about all the unsolicited advice you'll be getting and to just do what you feel is right.

I don't know what I'm doing...when people have told me things, I really just want to sit them down and ask them to tell me more. I'm the person who DOES want advice and for my mom or sister to come right when baby is born and tell me what's what (unfortunately mine can't...send me yours!)

With that said, I kinda feel like I've been jipped. Tell me what to do!
I'm due SOON. Based on my ovulation, I'm due in 7 days; based on my LMP, I'm due in 11 days. My last official day at work was yesterday. I'll be going in for a few hours to tie up loose ends tomorrow but that's it...

I know I should be cleaning the house...because I haven't had the energy to keep up with that, and hubby has been spending more time taking care of me lately.

Please flood me with your advice. Baby has a place to sleep, cloth diapers and disposable diapers to poop in and hopefully boobs to eat from.

Should I be teaching myself how to use the breast pump by trying it out?
What are some things that I NEED that I might not have?
I know I need to clean, pack my hospital bag, maybe take a hospital tour, organize her clothes and diapers, and find a daycare for when I return to work, but after that I feel like I'm missing something. Is there anything I need for me, or hubby?

Did any of you create a budget for while you were on leave? I have no idea how much a baby costs, how much daycare will be, or how much they cost in formula in case my boobs don't produce.

Do I have enough clothes? How many swaddles and blankets do I need? Are two sleep sacks enough? Do I even need a sleep sack? Do I really need a tub within a tub? Should I have certain clothes for recovery? When will I fit into normal clothes again?

I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN!!

 

[hayz_baby]

Don't worry. I promise everything will fall into place, as overwhelming as it seems. If you have forgotten something I'm sure you will be able to get it.

You have covered the basics which is great and all you really need.

Feeding wise it depends on what your preference is, based on what you have said I'm assuming breastfeeding, so I will give you breastfeeding advice and what I wish I know with no 1.

Don't worry about pumping for now. The main thing you need to do is establish your supply. The first weeks are hardest for breastfeeding. I wish someone told me it can be difficult. Baby will feed often and a lot. To a point where you will probably question supply. Just trust your body, this is your babies way. Of establishing your supply. Your baby will grow so it needs to ask for more milk to grow. Breastfeeding is supply and demand, the more it's asked for the more you will produce. Sometimes they will cluster feed and feed little and often, sometimes long feeds and ask 20 mins later, sometimes they will go 3urs odd without a feed.all normal.

They don't need many clothes. Seriously. I'm over run with clothes.
I tend to use blankets at first then move to sleeping bags, 1 is usually enough I find.
Find baby groups to spend time with baby.
I would have something comfy to be in hospital after birth like a night dress and something comfortable to come home in. Bath wise I find the minimums pointless. I recommend a bath support, you place it in your bath tub and it supports baby freeing your hands. A baby tub will mean washing with one hand whilst you support baby with another hand. They are relatively cheap.
You will fit into normal clothes but how long, well how legs a piece of string?

 

[marigold91]

Hahaha... Ok, heres my solicited "unsolicited" advice:

- Trust your body and your instincts. Do what feels right.
- Call the pediatrician if/when you need to, and don't be ashamed if you feel like you're calling them too much.
- You probably bought a bunch of shit you will never use. Sorry, man! That's just the truth. This is my second pregnancy and I'm already buying stuff I know I'll hardly ever use... what's up with that? Nesting I guess?
- As far as what to wear afterwards, I lived in yoga pants, a sports bra, and loose shirts. Don't wear anything tight on top or bottom.
- Daycare and formula are stupid expensive. I hate to break it to you. I didn't really budget while I was on maternity leave, but I obviously cut down on as many expenses I could. Formula is like $20 a can, and I think I remember going through about 9-10 cans per month with my daughter (I could be really skewing that). I pay $200 a week in daycare right now and that's pretty cheap for my area. You won't need that for a while, but it may be worth looking into earlier rather than later - most places have waiting lists for newborns (price is higher for newborns, too). Plus, if it proves to be too costly, then you can have some heads up for your job that you're going to stay home permanently.
- You can see if there's a hospital tour this week but it may be too late. If you don't get a chance to do it, don't worry. Look online at your hospitals website, too. Lots of times they have an online virtual tour.
- Get some big pads for after you deliver. It also helps to get some witch hazel pads. And Dermoblast spray. That'll help your vag when it's recovering.
- If you have a lot of family coming in for the birth or at least coming to the hospital, don't be afraid to tell them to get the heck out. It's not a time to entertain your family or visitors. I had so much of my family at the hospital with me, which was nice, but at the same time, it didn't give me much alone time with my baby those first two days. I now wish I had that.

I don't know if there's anything else, but last bit...

YOU WILL BE FINE! 100% GUARANTEED! Don't stress and panic. It's crazy how quickly you adapt and get into the swing of things!

 

[jlw617]

You'll be fine! On the breast pump note, I would pull it out and familiarize yourself with it just to be safe, sometimes there are issues to where you can't bf right away and its nice to be somewhat familiar with your pump just in case the other thing I'd say is don't over bundle baby, I know that might seem like common sense but it seems like people often put too many layers on baby and they do believe there is a link between sids and overheating.

 

[Spudtastic]

Aw, you'll be fine. The fact that you wrote your post means you'll be a good mum doing your best.

Here are a few things from me:

- all your baby needs is love, warmth and food.
- I hardly used my hospital bag contents
- go easy on yourself after birth.
- as long as you have a car seat, a bassinet (a sleeping place) and some clothes before you go to hospital you'll be fine.
- do you have a midwife who checks up on you and baby? Write down all those questions no matter how silly they seem and ask. I had a pad and pen by my bed and asked about everything from hiccups to wind to cradle cap. They won't mind at all. If you don't have a midwife or nurse to ask I'm sure the ladies here will help.
- don't try to be super mum. If you need to sleep when baby sleeps go to bed whether that is at 9am or 5pm.
-oh yeah put a sign on the front door if baby is sleeping or if you are both sleeping. People WILL knock loudly otherwise and guaranteed your baby will have just dropped off.

 

[Fiora]

Random unsolicited advice - Take socks with you to the hospital!! My Mum was telling me about her birthing stories this morning and said that her feet were FREEZING, as it's summer the hospital may have air-con on, and your blood flow will go all fucky - there's nothing worse than cold clammy feet when you're going through something like labour!
Also really comfy clothes for when you go home, like a snuggly tracksuit. Be kind to yourself, your body is going to go through something totally mad so listen to it. Don't feel guilty about needing a bath, or 30 minutes to read a book, if you're relaxed everything will feel less stressful and overwhelming. Also despite all the cute clothes at home baby will probably just live in babygro's, so don't stress about having a new outfit for every day at this point!

 

[bitethebullet]

my advice is to batch cook and fill your freezer- lasagne and Mousaka are good things to make as you can just shove them in the oven. Plan as if you might have a c section- have a place you can change baby at waist hEight, buy big knickers And loose clothing. Get lasinoh nipple cream if you are planning to breastfeed. Buy in plenty of loo roll. Buy good quality maternity pads. have some cotton wool in to top and tail baby to begin with. I used cellular blankets up until about 6 months. 2 Sleeping bags is plenty.

 

[PoppyPainting]

Yeah comfy jogging bottoms with drawstring waists coz your tummy will be tender and a funny shape for quite a few weeks.

Breastfeed baby as often as every 2-3hours when he or she is new until supply and demand and feeding cues are established. I had a small sleepy baby who didn't ask to feed and i thought I had to wait for cues. Consequently she lost 15% of her birth weight my milk didn't come in properly and we went to formula after one week.

Any opportunity to sleep take it!!! The first few weeks are exhausting be kind to yourself .

Pre warn your husband that your happy hormones will crash out at 3-5 days after birth. I didn't and my husband literally thought I had gone mad!

Be prepared for some very big feelings. Many of these don't really go away and you will always cry at sad stories involving children on the news!

 

[ClaireJ23]

Batch cooking is a good idea. I'm expecting #3 and plan to fill the freezer.

Also, don't allow too many visitors in the first days, I'm not having any for at least two weeks this time as I know I will need to rest as much as I can.

I bought an electric breast pump but barely used it. I breastfed just whenever. Just do whatever feels right for you and trust your instincts.

Don't worry about buying everything, most important stuff is sold in supermarkets or by Amazon so could you could get them pretty quickly after baby is born.

Normal clothes for me was at least a couple of months after baby was born. I just stuck to comfortable clothes for a while until things started getting back to normal(ish).

Two sleep sacks are enough - one for use whilst the other is washing/drying. They recommend that baby can go into sleep sacks when they are 10lb.

 

[mod19]

Have you had your baby yet?

My one piece of advice after reading everyone else's, is that if you don't end up breastfeeding, get a Sam's club membership and sign up for formula coupons on websites. Sam's has 2lb containers of similac for $32 ($25 at Walmart for a 1lb) then you use a $5 off coupon that similac sends out, bringing it down to $27 for 2lb, just $2 more than half that anywhere else

 

[MamaLoCo]

Thank you all.
Yes, I had my baby on the 8th. She was tongue tied and had her frenulum clipped but the doctor warned that her tongue was still pretty short. So I'm trying to breastfeed but she will only latch on with a nipple shield. Actually, since we've had to use bottles so much out of frustration with the latching issues, she has developed a preference for bottle nipples and I'm still trying to get her on the breast.
I pump but I find I just don't have the time/energy to pump as often as I need to be able to keep up with her feedings without supplementing with formula, so she does have a bottle or two of formula every day.
I think a lot of it had to do with having people over and me not feeling comfortable pumping in front of them.

 

[PoppyPainting]

Mamaloco, I totally sympathise with the problems of trying to pump or bf with a house full of guests. I was in that situation. Re the shield, if you have a look on the breastfeeding forum there are girls there who can give you advice there are bf buddies who specifically say they've experienced your situation. Good luck