who will be in the ultrasound room?

[southerngirl2]

My first ultra sound is next week and today my mom basically asked to go with my husband and I. I have been debating it for a while now. I want her there, but at the same time I kind of want it to be a time for just me & my husband.
After discussing it with my husband he mentioned to invite his mom too or invite one of them to this one and one to the next...
Thing is I don't think I want his mom to come at all... she and I do not get along and it's my body... (first ultra sound will probably be a vaginal one).

Any advice on how to handle this?
Who will you allow in the ultra sound?

 

[curlykate]

TBH, I don't understand why anyone would want anyone other than their OH in the room with them at an ultrasound. To me, it's a private moment to be shared between the parents of the baby. I understand that other people have different thoughts on this and would perhaps want someone else there, but as for me, it will just be me and OH. No matter how much my MIL wants to be there.

 

[messica]

Only my husband will ever be in with me.

They always send pictures home to share with family afterward!

 

[Flannz94]

You can have as many people as you like, well at the place I go to they don't mind. I took my partner, mum and sister to mine. I don't think it's that big of a deal, take whoever you want

 

[Ashersmomma]

I've always just wanted my DH with me, or my mom if he couldn't go for work reasons. I don't think I would want his mom in there. Like you and your OH's mom, we don't really get along. I definitely wouldn't want her in there for a vaginal. That is just way too personal. If I were you, I would just explain to your OH that you just don't feel comfortable having her in there. Maybe give her a copy of the u/s after. Besides, at least were I have mine done, the room is not very big. It's big enough for me, DH, and the tech.

 

[Selaphyna]

My dad went with me when I was pregnant with DS1, only because son's father could not be there, and my mom could not get off of work. I enjoyed having my dad there, and we had an idea I was having a boy already, so this was going to be the first grandboy. I was also only 19 at the time. My mom went to my second u/s with ds1. I was 40w5d when we had the second.

This time, I had one a 9w1d for a dating scan. I went by myself as OH could not get off work, plus it was just a dating scan. We just had our second u/s today, and I knew this was the one where we could find out gender, or at least just see baby. So I told him, and he made sure he got off work to come. Kind of freaked him out though as this is his first child and it made it even more real for him, as we could see the face and he kept moving his hands up above his head and everything.

 

[minties]

I had all my ultrasounds by myself, but wouldnt have cared who came if they weren't working. Oh m son did go to one with me when I was pregnant with my daughter, I forgot about that.

 

[Bakebino]

I have only ever had my hubby in the room with me for an ultrasound. I felt it was a private moment for hubby and I to share. And as a previous poster said they usually give you pictures to share with family and friends who did not attend.

 

[Ashtong]

My husband was the only one with me for the first one and he will be the only one at my 11w one and the gender one. I've thought if I get a 4D inviting some family but I'm still not sure

 

[southerngirl2]

Thank you all for your input! I will call my doctors office tomorrow to see what the rules are... and I'll go from there... I really dislike upsetting people...

 

[mammag]

I've done my firsr ultrasounds alone. Mostly because they were last minute. But I wouldn't have allowed anyone but OH in if it were a vaginal ultrasound, I have my gender scan in a couple of weeks and both our moms will be there. His mom is severely disabled and lives in a nursing home and this will be her first grandbaby and we don't get to see her much. She's so excited about this baby that I would probably be upset with him if he didn't want his mom there! My mom is just crazy and you can't tell her no, so she'll be there too. Lol.

 

[southerngirl2]

I've done my firsr ultrasounds alone. Mostly because they were last minute. But I wouldn't have allowed anyone but OH in if it were a vaginal ultrasound, I have my gender scan in a couple of weeks and both our moms will be there. His mom is severely disabled and lives in a nursing home and this will be her first grandbaby and we don't get to see her much. She's so excited about this baby that I would probably be upset with him if he didn't want his mom there! My mom is just crazy and you can't tell her no, so she'll be there too. Lol.

Both of our moms are crazy & won't accept no... haha

My mom wants to be in the delivery room! I said flat out no to that one!

I'll have to see what the doc says when I call later today....

 

[smawfl]

TBH, I don't understand why anyone would want anyone other than their OH in the room with them at an ultrasound. To me, it's a private moment to be shared between the parents of the baby. I understand that other people have different thoughts on this and would perhaps want someone else there, but as for me, it will just be me and OH. No matter how much my MIL wants to be there.

totally this

 

[LisaL79]

Just tell them no if you don't want them there. They'll see photos afterwards.

With DD, it was always just DH. I didn't want anyone else there.
With this one, it will be DH and DD
W/ DD, MiL asked us why we didn't invite her to the gender scan. *eyeroll* I'm sure she'll insist she goes this time too but NOPE! Not going to happen.

 

[mammy2oaklen]

I had my dh with me for the important early scans and abnomoly scan but my mum did come to my first ds gender scan and my sister came to my dating scan with ds2 but I knew all was ok had paid for early scan 6 days earlier as dh couldn't make it due to work.

I think it's a personal choice my mum was there when I delivered both my son's so I don't mind her being present at all we are very close same for my sister. But no my mil wouldn't be allowed to come it's my body and I wouldn't wish for her to be there same about delivering baby I wouldn't want her there

 

[chrislo4]

DH to 12 week scan and then DH & our 2 year old to the anomaly scan. I know they say to try not bring children but i want Lucie involved as much as possible and id like her to see her brother or sister on screen upon first introduction x

 

[londonangel]

You shouldn't need a vaginal one at seven weeks (unless you are heavy-set). I had a transabdominal at 6 weeks last time round - it did take two techs to be able to see into the sac though! I wouldn't have anyone you don't want in there though. As you say, it's your body. I think to be 'fair' if you say his mum can't come then you maybe shouldn't invite your mum as it could cause tensions, esp. as your hubby might think 'yes, I know it's your body but it's my baby too' (I'm sure he wouldn't think of it quite like that, but you know what I mean ;-)

 

[Kadiya]

Depends where you're at apparently bc all u/s prior to 12 wks are vaginal in the states. I wouldn't even want my own mother at a vaginal u/s. It's only been my DH. If our mom's insisted on witnessing it then I know our dads would too and no sorry definitely not comfortable with that, esp since my doc usually does breast exams too uhh Noo thank you gross! We make them copies of the prints from the u/s that's all they need to see. I certainly don't need or want to hear the unwanted comments on why I decided to remove hair there etc... They're all overbearing enough without exposing myself to that criticism.

Like everyone said it's YOUR body, it's about your comfort and desires you shouldn't feel obligated just bc you're a natural people pleaser if you do it despite your discomfort you'll only end up resenting your DH and/or MIL.

 

[hanni]

During a vaginal US you remove your clothes behind a curtain and they give you something to cover up with. Before anyone can see you. Nobody but the person scanning can see your bits, and it would be seriously weird if family were looking at whether you shave or not rather than the baby!

Just my OH there for me. I went for one yesterday and the girl after me had her whole family in the waiting room. It was crazy.
I would consider taking my own mother to a later one or an additional one if she really wanted. Definitely not my MIL though.
Whatever you're comfortable with. Just don't tell your MIL your own mum went if you think it would make her want to come to one too.

 

[Kadiya]

The UK sounds nicer and nicer! I have one of the top notch hospitals in the US and while they do give us a gown it's open in the front, so you are exposed and then we're only given a flimsy sheet of paper to cover the bottom front half of our privates. So... Like I said for me, under those circumstances, hell no!

Plus everyone else's mom's and MIL sound like they wouldn't be nightmares, unfortunately for my situation both my own folks and DH folk's are super overbearing, nosy, and judgmental...

But you know supposedly they do that out of love...