Who's the father...?

[daneuse27]

You're right brandonsgirl. I was wrong for suggesting she go behind his back again. We don't know the full story, so there might be more to it- but this is a huge thing and could complicate the poor baby's life if its not dealt with honestly from the start.

 

[brandonsgirl]

You're right brandonsgirl. I was wrong for suggesting she go behind his back again. We don't know the full story, so there might be more to it- but this is a huge thing and could complicate the poor baby's life if its not dealt with honestly from the start.

Thank you for seeing my point of view. I do hope the original poster makes the right decision for her baby, herself AND her bf.

 

[Lucy139]

IMO you should have told your current boyfriend already about the other guy he's been thinking for the last 30 odd weeks he is the father!!! Obviously i don't know the full story but Weather you tell him before or after the baby is born it sounds like a bad situation... DNA is the only way to be sure hope you get it sorted soon x

 

[Mummy1995]

I'm almost 100% sure it's illegal to do a DNA test without the persons consent. The same way someone would need your consent to DNA your child. It'll be hard to come clean but honestly the best thing. I couldn't deal with the what if? You have to find out for your baby's sake or this might bite you in the bum in years to come x

 

[skyesmom]

I had a friend who thought her father was one guy until she was 24 years old! That guy also though he was the Dad. She found out via a family friend that the guy she thought was her father wasn't 100% the only person that could have fathered her. She asked her Mom who confessed that it was the truth. My friend found her biological Dad with her Moms help and she now has a relationship with him. I couldn't imagine this happening to myself, thinking one guy was my Dad my whole life and he wasn't. If it was just one time of Unprotected sex he is probably not the Dad but you need to find out. How serious are you and your boyfriend? Do you think he is going to leave you if he finds out?

...after 24 years of life, the man she knew as her father IS her father to all effects... no matter who biologically contributed to conceiving her. but still it must be devastating for both.

 

[archangel24]

I completely agree skyesmom!

 

[brandonsgirl]

It would be interesting to hear how the original poster is doing to deal with the situation now...

 

[sh0rtiee6o4]

To everyone :

Yes, I know I should be honestly and come clean to my boyfriend, and I have. Of course he's angry at me and he has the right to be since I did something wrong. As of now, all I could do is give him the space he needs to cool off. Posting about this, all I really wanted to know your guys opinion on who could the father possibly be.

 

[daneuse27]

Good for you for doing the right thing. It took courage to come clean, and it will be hard for a while but you've saved a lot of heartache and pain from happening later on.

As for who the father is - it depends on if you used protection with the other guy. If you didn't use protection, then its still possibly that some of his semen could have gone inside you even if he didn't ejaculate. He also could have ejaculated without telling you (although you'd be likely to notice.)

It also depends on when the sex happened with that other guy. Can you try to refresh your memory somehow to figure out when it was? Even if you connect the memory to other events- what else was happening in your life close to when you slept with him? Sometimes I look over facebook messages to figure out dates for things. Maybe you could try that?

 

[onceisenough1]

I would say your bf is the father.

 

[sh0rtiee6o4]

Good for you for doing the right thing. It took courage to come clean, and it will be hard for a while but you've saved a lot of heartache and pain from happening later on.

As for who the father is - it depends on if you used protection with the other guy. If you didn't use protection, then its still possibly that some of his semen could have gone inside you even if he didn't ejaculate. He also could have ejaculated without telling you (although you'd be likely to notice.)

It also depends on when the sex happened with that other guy. Can you try to refresh your memory somehow to figure out when it was? Even if you connect the memory to other events- what else was happening in your life close to when you slept with him? Sometimes I look over facebook messages to figure out dates for things. Maybe you could try that?

It was unprotected with the other guy. I really wish I could remember when it happened but sadly I don't... I have tried looking through my old msgs with him but I deleted them already.

 

[brandonsgirl]

You did good doing the right thing. I cant imagine it was easy for you. But at least now everything's out in the open and your bf can make an informed decision on how he goes about things now.

If you didn't use protection with the other guy then its more 50/50. You may of had sex with your bf many more times, however it only takes the one time at the right time to catch the egg. As the other poster mentioned - his pre cum could still have been inside you. Its a tricky situation I know, but now you have fussed up, maybe it's best not to worry about the dna until ypu can actually test.

 

[Mummy1995]

You should be really proud of yourself for coming clean try not to stress now. There's nothing you can do and stress isn't good for you and bub. Just wait until baby is born and get a DNA test done straight away I hope you get the answer you want though x

 

[skyesmom]

congrats for the courage to come clean and say everything! that's a damn tough thing to do!
i have a feeling the baby is your boyfriends'...
if you already deleted your facebook messages and so on, try to remember the time of the year at least: was it winter and xmas time? was it already 2013 or it was december 2012? st valentine's, easter, any birthdays or anything significant around the time you dated this guy?

does any of your friends know about this? if yes, can they maybe remember the time?

 

[DivaMommy2Be]

In sure that was very hard but in my opinion you did the right thing.

As to who is the father? I told my hubby I wanted to stop having sex for the last 8 weeks before our wedding to make it special. We waited as long as we could but I got pregnant by having sex just once in 8 weeks. I know that's not quite the same as you, I'm just meaning it really only takes one time to be the right time.

So nobody could know who the dad is without knowing the date that you slept with your bf, the other guy, and your ovulation dates and if anything went inside you. It wouldn't have to be loads of sperm to give you a chance of conceiving at the right time of the month. It's 50/50 IMO.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you hun xx

 

[Rayleen]

I have a similar situation if someone would please help me and give me their opinion on my post?

 

[brandonsgirl]

I have a similar situation if someone would please help me and give me their opinion on my post?

If i was you, I would be taking a DNA test for your child and then a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side. I honestly think that if you are having doubts or worries about who the father is, then do a dna test. That's really the only sure way of finding out.

 

[AirForceWife7]

Among everything going on in your situation, I just have to commend you for telling him the truth. You did the right thing, and I know it couldn't have been easy!

Try and look at it this way - you're one step closer to finding out who the father is, and that's your main goal. I hope it all works out for you

 

[aqualung]

Edited by Moderator

While BabyandBump tries to remain pro-choice on most subjects, out of respect for majority of our members that are either trying to conceive, or pregnant, we ask that you do not discuss topics on abortion and terminations outside of the 'Ethical Prenatal Losses' forum.

 

[archangel24]

They baby would most likely be your bf... Next time please make sure you use a protection method though... What if you had contracted something and passed it on to your bf? That would be so unfair....