whos wrong?

[special_kala]

For my school i was about looking smart and presentable and it did help with bullying and just general relationships between people.

The only real life comparison i have is mine and DHs school. At his school the groups were very very separate, they didnt mingle and there was alot of grunger vs townie fights. Whereas at mine it wasnt as separate which i partly put down to the fact that on face value we all looked the same, people spoke to each other without already putting the other person in a little box already

 

[Tasha]

Ours was not strict and was more like yours in behaviour Kala.

I just I guess I dont like the idea of pushing children to conform. I want my children to be able to express who they are and be proud of that, and if that involves a hairstyle then so be it.

 

[suzib76]

The school were passing the responsibility back to the parent (where it should be in my eyes). The mum first off should have looked at the school rules before okaying it and if the girl did it behind her back then she should have made her sort it out rather then calling the daily mail.

Ultimatly the parents were choosing to keep her in isolation that long

I agree with this

To up to parents to teach our kids about boundries and responsibilities, part of that means that sometimes we have to 'conform' to a certain level. If the school rules say no, then the mother should be impressing that on her daughter.

 

[TriChick]

Although I agree that rules are rules, I dont agree with the fact she was put into isolation, ready to be kept there until the colour is gone.

When I was at school, I was put into isolation on a few occasions and it consisted of being put into a 'booth' that was painted black so all you could see were black walls. You were not allowed to turn around or speak to anyone. At break ti e you stayed in your seat in silence and at dinner you were escorted to the canteen to pick your lunch and then taken back to your seat in isolation to eat in silence.

That would never ever have been used for a bit of hair dye. Detention? Yes, maybe. But not isolation. It is too far.

Holy crap! I'be never seen a booth like that in the States. Were you sitting in the dark??

Nooo! It was a row of booths facing the wall and had sides going right up to the ceiling so you couldn't see the next person. The back of the 'booth' was open so that the teacher looking after all of the kids in isolation could peer over your shoulder to make sure you were doing whatever you were supposed to be (writing lines, reading a textbook etc etc).

Lol thanks for the clarification! I was gonna say, that sounds worse than some of the prisoner-of-war training the military has put me through!

 

[smileyfaces]

Although I agree that rules are rules, I dont agree with the fact she was put into isolation, ready to be kept there until the colour is gone.

When I was at school, I was put into isolation on a few occasions and it consisted of being put into a 'booth' that was painted black so all you could see were black walls. You were not allowed to turn around or speak to anyone. At break ti e you stayed in your seat in silence and at dinner you were escorted to the canteen to pick your lunch and then taken back to your seat in isolation to eat in silence.

That would never ever have been used for a bit of hair dye. Detention? Yes, maybe. But not isolation. It is too far.

Holy crap! I'be never seen a booth like that in the States. Were you sitting in the dark??

Nooo! It was a row of booths facing the wall and had sides going right up to the ceiling so you couldn't see the next person. The back of the 'booth' was open so that the teacher looking after all of the kids in isolation could peer over your shoulder to make sure you were doing whatever you were supposed to be (writing lines, reading a textbook etc etc).

Lol thanks for the clarification! I was gonna say, that sounds worse than some of the prisoner-of-war training the military has put me through!

Haha you're welcome Trichick

 

[mum22ttc#3]

The school were passing the responsibility back to the parent (where it should be in my eyes). The mum first off should have looked at the school rules before okaying it and if the girl did it behind her back then she should have made her sort it out rather then calling the daily mail.

Ultimatly the parents were choosing to keep her in isolation that long

This is what I was trying to say

I don't really see how wearing the wrong uniform or dying your hair the wrong colour is actually that different. Both are done knowing that they are against school rules and both have easy soloutions. The Mum could have taken her daughter home that night and either dyed her hair a natural colour or chopped of the ends (which after she had run selling her story she did do).
Its not like if you did go in with a tracksuit that they could march you to the toilets and make you take it off, you would either be put into isolation or sent home.

Also if the parent had done the above then the child would have been in isolation for 1 day only, I really don't think having her work there rather than in the classroom would have been detrimental to her education. Like Kala said, it was her Mum that choose for her to be in isolation for a longer period of time, not the school.

 

[flubdub]

"Rules are there for a reason"

What reason is this rule for?
I think it's pathetic. WHY can't she have pink hair? She will still learn the same! I just don't understand the point of this particular rule. Earrings is an obvious one because they may get caught on things etc, but I think this is silly.
Schools seem to have this "thing" about kids all looking the same and it doesn't make sense to me. Just because its a "rule", it wouldn't mean, to me, that it needs obeying. At my children's primary school, they aren't allowed school shoes that flash. Why? I have no idea. Both of my children's school shoes flash - the kids liked them, they are Clarks, who are pretty good at making school shoes! And we liked them. Their learning hasn't been impaired yet! x

 

[suzib76]

"Rules are there for a reason"

What reason is this rule for?
I think it's pathetic. WHY can't she have pink hair? She will still learn the same! I just don't understand the point of this particular rule. Earrings is an obvious one because they may get caught on things etc, but I think this is silly.
Schools seem to have this "thing" about kids all looking the same and it doesn't make sense to me. Just because its a "rule", it wouldn't mean, to me, that it needs obeying. At my children's primary school, they aren't allowed school shoes that flash. Why? I have no idea. Both of my children's school shoes flash - the kids liked them, they are Clarks, who are pretty good at making school shoes! And we liked them. Their learning hasn't been impaired yet! x

I don't think the reason is relevant, the school have their rules and if people agree to their kids going to a school then they should agree to abide by the rules. Personally I don't see the need to challenge rules like this just because we may think they are 'silly'

 

[omfgski]

I ...

 

[Bex84]

I agree with the school. Parents have easy access to school rules. Most schools both me and dh taught at have been of the opinion that when you are in school uniform you are representing the school. Uniform is about putting children on a level playing field, non uniform days are like a fashion show. Uniform equalises children. Most schools also see enforcing rules in the smaller things like uniforms is sending a message that rules must be followed. Put it this way if i had gone to teach children in jeans, scruffy top and trainers the school would not been impressed. It helps stop bullying doesent matter if your rich or poor you wear the same. If she wanted to colour her hair it should have been in holidays. Im all for expressing your self but dont really thing not dip dying het hair is going to harm her

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

"Rules are there for a reason"

What reason is this rule for?
I think it's pathetic. WHY can't she have pink hair? She will still learn the same! I just don't understand the point of this particular rule. Earrings is an obvious one because they may get caught on things etc, but I think this is silly.
Schools seem to have this "thing" about kids all looking the same and it doesn't make sense to me. Just because its a "rule", it wouldn't mean, to me, that it needs obeying. At my children's primary school, they aren't allowed school shoes that flash. Why? I have no idea. Both of my children's school shoes flash - the kids liked them, they are Clarks, who are pretty good at making school shoes! And we liked them. Their learning hasn't been impaired yet! x

I don't think the reason is relevant, the school have their rules and if people agree to their kids going to a school then they should agree to abide by the rules. Personally I don't see the need to challenge rules like this just because we may think they are 'silly'

I totally agree. Its about being prepared for society. If you dont comply at school then you have no hope in a job!

 

[Eternal]

I think school has rules just as life and work had rules that you need to learn to accept, if she doesn't like it find another school.

Many places have rules which won't affect work. But they still have rules I.e, what they wear etc.

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I agree with Midnight_Fairy.

There are plenty of rules that I don't agree with or I don't think makes sense and cannot understand the reason whether it be in school, in the workplace or in everyday life but they are there to be followed, if everyone started just picking and choosing the ones that they wished to follow then it would be chaos.
Whether you understand the reason behind them or not, I'm pretty sure that whoever put that rule into place had a reason for doing so. As for the flashing shoes I would assume it would be to do with bullying as another poster mentioned earlier. At my kids school they are allowed and DD2 has had some, if they hadn't allowed them though she wouldn't have been getting them no matter how much me or her had liked them, personally I think it would have been setting a bad example to have allowed her.

I think its the same as when you get a job later on in life, if you don't like the rules and aren't going to follow them then find another one.

 

[fidgets mammy]

The thing is in life their are many rules to follow. They start tgem at school in order to set an example from the start and teach kids that rules shoupd be respected. I mean what if this girl landed a job in a supermarket, would it be ok to rock up to work in a mini skirt?? No it wouldnt.
Her mother should be teaching her to be respectful. She'll go through life thinking she can do what she likes.

Its usually these kinds of familys u see on jeremy kyle complaining their kids disrespect them. Wonder why.

 

[MrsKyliePaton]

Well all I can say is thank god my school wasn't that strict, we were aloud to have any hairstyle and make up aslong as it wasn't heavily done, uniform on the other hand was white shirt/blouse tie black cardigan/jumper and girls HAD to wear skirts in the summer no trousers (until there was a big petition around the school to stop that) and a choice in winter of trousers or skirt, we were allowed to wear any shoes aslong as they were black, they were strict on blue shirts though they actually sent me home (I had to walk downtown to catch a bus home) so that I could change and come back to school also got detention needless to say I learnt my lesson with that one lol

They seem extreme rules though to me anyway and I've never heard of isolation but if the parent and child knew the rules they should have stuck to them

 

[Jaylynne]

Why do parents think their kid is an exception to the rules?! Were they not given the handbook for the school that had the rules listed? I went to a private school and the dress code there was way to strict in my opinion. They even had rules on how socks should be folded. Ridiculous. But hair dyed to strange colors can be distracting. She should have known the rules. They chose the school (I think). A school can't allow one student to break the rules or they'd have to let everyone. So I'm with the school. The mom needs to shut up and set a better example.

 

[RaspberryK]

How is the pink any more "unnatural" from the bleach blonde she has? ...
X

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[SpringerS]

Most schools in the uk have similar rules.

And there is the crux of the issue. If pretty much all schools have the same rules then the parents did not choose to send them into such an environment. They had no choice. Personally I don't think the school have any right to have rules that effect their pupils outside of school hours. It's ok to have a no nail varnish rule as the pupils can still have varnished nails throughout the other 18 hours of the day if they wish. It's not ok to outlaw particular hair dye colours as that means that the school is infringing on how their pupils choose to look in their free time. Not the greatest injustice in the history of injustices but most certainly an infringement on the civil liberties of their pupils.

 

[Foogirl]

She broke the rules, she's 13 and she is old enough to be held responsible for that. Her mother should also have stepped in and told her no. The school carried out the punishment they said they would. They did nothing wrong.

If the daughter disagrees with the rules, and thinks they should be changed, the mother should be teaching her how to do that without breaking them. That would be a great lesson to teach a teenager.