Why are people so anti FF..rant

[sg2011]

Firstly this isn't a bf debate. We all know that all things being equal, breast is best.

But if the baby is hungry and you've tried the fennel tea and 100 other things to feed your baby, why would u still insist in BFing. There comes a point when the baby just needs food surely and if that's only available from a bottle then surely that's the most important thing?!

(And re-state this is not a bf debate and I am talking about when bf'ing simply isn't going to work, and everything has been tried but mums still won't switch to formula as 'breast is best!').

Rant over.

Some people just have different views on what trying everything is.

That is true but it would be wrong to judge someone because their version of trying everything is not your version. My daughter has been FF from the start due to a medical condition I have. People have actually had the gall to say that "trying hard enough" for me would have been to not take my meds in order to give her breast milk. I have a healthy, intelligent and beautiful little girl and that came from good mothering and lots of love even though I didn't "try hard enough" to be able to breast feed her.

 

[pinklightbulb]

It isn't anyone's place but mods or admin to tell someone to leave a certain section or that they shouldn't be in one

I BF both mine but have attempted supplementing FF with both. I came in here to get ideas for how to get my BF baby to take a bottle because lots of combi-feeding mums are here and might have tricks I haven't tried. So I'll come in here all I like... and I'll read whatever threads I like while I'm at it. If I'm told by a mod or admin to leave I will certainly do so, but if I'm not doing anything wrong, why should I?

Right now I'm here yet again looking for ideas on what formula might suit an EBF baby and what other bottles besides Closer to Nature he might take as we've got OH's work dinner to go to. Am I not allowed in here to browse about now because I dared to BF and succeed at it... which took a lot of hard work, both times?

Give me a break. Sometimes the chips on people's shoulders that make them feel they have the right to be rude to someone who's never done anything to them are truly astounding.

 

[Kage76]

god i just wish people could feed their children without feeling the need to

Feel Guilty.
Feel ashamed.
Pass judgement
educate without consent
think the method you use is better than the other for any reason.

you feed your child. the end. Can we move on?

 

[robinator]

Of course we can't move on. Have you forgotten where you are? Don't be ridiculous

 

[sandilion]

Well said Kage76! That sums up my feelings on the matter!

 

[sandilion]

Of course we can't move on. Have you forgotten where you are? Don't be ridiculous

LOL so true!

 

[mummyfin]

Really agree with OP, with DS I tried breastfeeding and the health visitor was very pushy, in the end DS (now 4) had to be admitted to hospital at about 7 weeks old because he was getting dehydrated. Really p's me off the amount of pressure that stupid woman put on me to keep bf'ing, despite his weight loss. Even after hospital told me to tell her where to go and just FF, she still pushed, so I made a formal complaint about the blinkered idiot.

This time, I'm still going to give BFing a bash, every pregnancy is different, but if it doesn't work I'll be straight onto bottles!

Tbh, what does it matter? They both have their pros and cons, DS is much, much healthier than his breast fed cousin, taller, and not overweight etc like health visitors and midwifes love to tell you ff babies are, so it obv never did him any harm switching!

It is such a huge issue on forums and with health visitors, sad because it really shouldn't be! Whatever works, works!

 

[LegoHouse]

Firstly this isn't a bf debate. We all know that all things being equal, breast is best.

But if the baby is hungry and you've tried the fennel tea and 100 other things to feed your baby, why would u still insist in BFing. There comes a point when the baby just needs food surely and if that's only available from a bottle then surely that's the most important thing?!

(And re-state this is not a bf debate and I am talking about when bf'ing simply isn't going to work, and everything has been tried but mums still won't switch to formula as 'breast is best!').

Rant over.

Some people just have different views on what trying everything is.

That is true but it would be wrong to judge someone because their version of trying everything is not your version. My daughter has been FF from the start due to a medical condition I have. People have actually had the gall to say that "trying hard enough" for me would have been to not take my meds in order to give her breast milk. I have a healthy, intelligent and beautiful little girl and that came from good mothering and lots of love even though I didn't "try hard enough" to be able to breast feed her.

Yeah and I don't disagree with you at all, but again it works both ways, you can't sit and say someone is trying too hard either iykwim?

 

[kissesandhugs]

This thread is ridiculous. YES I'm a breastfeeder but LO was combi fed 50/50 up until last week so yeah I'm going to comment.

The OP is ridiculous, is what I mean, and I only say that bc it's CRAZY that a woman is ACTUALLY ranting about a woman wanting to try her best to breast feed. Really? What's it to you if someone wants to succeed at breastfeeding? How does that affect you? Mind blowing.

 

[pinklightbulb]

This is the second thread I've laughed at in two days. Must be something in the water lol. I was in here for a good reason so I don't see why I'm being told to get out of this section. BF mums still look for advice in here about bottle-taking and that sort of thing.

 

[Kage76]

Of course we can't move on. Have you forgotten where you are? Don't be ridiculous

Yeah for a moment - just one- i thought there might be a chance that a conversation about a feeding method might not end up in a bun fight.

silly silly me.

 

[sandilion]

This thread is ridiculous. YES I'm a breastfeeder but LO was combi fed 50/50 up until last week so yeah I'm going to comment.

The OP is ridiculous, is what I mean, and I only say that bc it's CRAZY that a woman is ACTUALLY ranting about a woman wanting to try her best to breast feed. Really? What's it to you if someone wants to succeed at breastfeeding? How does that affect you? Mind blowing.

I agree. I just went and re-read it and you're right, it's silly and extremely unnecessarily judgmental on mothers who are determined to succeed.

I am one of the mothers where i had to become very determined and persistent due to Lo being born 8 weeks prem. So I am glad i worked as hard as i did because once he got bigger and stronger he became a expert feeder. I am glad i didn't come across someone like the OP who would have probably broken my confidence at the time and then i wouldn't have been able to BF LO for 9 months.

It's one thing to have a vent about people judging you etc, but to post a thread about judging others - yeah, poor form imo.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Maybe I misunderstood but I actually thought she was talking about situations where a desire to breastfeed is prioritised at the baby's expense. And by that i mean not thriving, not gaining weight, unhappy, getting dehydrated etc. I see how it can read as judgmental but at the same time it is something I have thought about and I do think there is a point when is enough enough, and at the point of desperation (when you are thinking over and over I MUST bf this baby) when your baby is unhappy and hungry all the time and not gaining weight are you really persisting with ebf for your child's sake or is it more for yourself? - NOT directed to anyone here as I assume your babies are all thriving, but I asked this question of MYSELF countless times. There was a point where I was brutally honest with myself and I wanted to breastfeed so badly but the baby needed to be fed and I knew it was just selfishness then to persist. In fact I still persisted with ebf longer than was best for him. I am not proud of it at all. Should have just combi fed with acceptance. Just glad I did the responsible thing before he wound up back in hospital.

There I said it now I'm out.

 

[aliss]

I think everyone has their own opinion of what is at "the baby's expense" (aside from obvious cases where a baby is seized by social services, I don't know many that have been seized for a militant desire to breastfeed when no milk is available).

I started formula after Alex lost over a pound by day 4 and was hospitalized (in hindsight, severe reflux and other issues). That was, at the time, my "breaking point" for the baby's expense. There are other women who would not have let that be the breaking point, and that is fine, there are other techinques that could have been used that I was unaware of. If I was aware, would I be willing? I don't know, that was almost 3 years ago now.

As someone who chose formula because of a sickly baby, I really don't see how someone could continue to breastfeed when they SHOULD switch to formula for medical reasons at their baby's expense... that sounds rather masochistic and as a (now) breastfeeder, find it pretty hard to believe.

 

[kissesandhugs]

I can't say I have EVER heard of a mother putting their child in grave danger just to breastfeed. There are women who might combi feed until they get on the right track, but never heard of one who is so stubborn to EBF that they don't care how sick their child gets.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Edited, because ahh what's the point and I've had my say.

 

[kissesandhugs]

Trust me I know it's an emotive issue. I had my own struggles, everyone does! It's obvious that mother has issues then if she lets it go that far. And people are complaining about throwing the "2%" around but I'm sorry, it's just facts! There are 10000 reasons why someone stops breastfeeding and that's 110% OKAY, and I completely understand why someone would bc I've been there. This thread just seems like what every single bf mother has heard, "that baby is hungry give it formula". It may not be her intention and I understand that. But it came across as Don't give it your all, just give the baby formula bc the baby is hungry. BF has it's struggles and one is building a supply, there may be times where the child isn't completely full and some women may give formula which is fine but it's a slippery slope. Whether the baby is not full vs a baby getting hospitalized are 2 different things and that's where the 2% comes in.

 

[Wobbles]

I've locked mainly because the OP threw this out there then didn't return.