Why are WE not this fertile?

[pixielou]

oh yes, I know how you feel too! I often wonder why this is happening to us in fact I often wonder why this is happening to so many ladies at the moment. I know so many women that are in the same boat-dosent really make us feel better though!

Just seems as you say that you get these women who just knock 'em out willy nilly and don't even seem to care about their childs welfare then like us the ones who really want them and would aim to be dedicated parents!

who knows why nature is this way?

 

[AutumnSky]

My biggest pet hate though? "Look at this picture. I think it's positive but I'm not sure." Of COURSE you are sure, you soft cow, there are two dark, dark lines on your test.

Not sure my R-se.

I so completely agree with you, lol!!


xxx

 

[krissi]

My biggest pet hate though? "Look at this picture. I think it's positive but I'm not sure." Of COURSE you are sure, you soft cow, there are two dark, dark lines on your test.

Not sure my R-se.

I so completely agree with you, lol!!


xxx

OMG I have been feeling like this all day, this section is like a breathe of fresh air!!

I am soo insanely jealous when people post I have my BFP and its their 2nd post on the forum. I only joined in June but have been TTC for nearly 10 years and I have never had 2 lines and I am so fed up with it. Every cycle I say thats it I give up and then by the time AF buggers off I'm like well OK one more go. aaarrggghh. Its not fair, everyone gives you these stupid sympathetic looks as if you are being neurotic when you try and talk about TTC and unless you are a bloody millionaire the whole medical system works against you as treatment is so bloody expensive.

OK breathe Krissi

 

[Sinead]

Hope you are all feeling ok, I think we all go through this - I know I definitely do and sometimes hate anyone thats pg.

 

[Millnsy]

I agree with everything you have all said. Its been about 20 months trying for me and the thought that I will never know what it feels like to be pregnant has started to come in to my head recently. I'm not responding to the Clomid at all and they are talking about IUI now. I just don't know if I can face up to all that intrusion. Another 2 people in my family / friends announced they are pregnant this month and its so unfair. Had lunch with a friend (and her 17 month old daughter) today and she said "just be patient and it will happen eventually". I told her that it won't happen if I don't ovulate at all. To be fair she was very understanding and just listened when I told her all about it - she didn't offer any crass words of wisdom which was refreshing!

Don't you just hate that by the way, crap advice! HAve you stopped drinking? Do you do your temps? Have you tried POAS? Just go on holiday and it will happen if you relax, "that worked for us"!!! AAAAGH

And breathe!

Thanks for starting this thread, it really helps to get it all out there xxx

 

[Ffydd]

I've been agonising about whether to respond to this thread. I don't feel I have a right, I'm just a very intermittent viewer and a one or two poster and a grandmother to be for my lovely daughter. I look at B an B perhaps once in a few weeks especially when I'm a bit anxious about something and prefer to do a bit of research rather than open my mouth and worry my daughter. The pain in this thread just touched me especially those waiting for nine or ten years. I hope this doesn't offend or upset anyone but I just wanted to say that I was born in the late nineteen fifties after my mother was trying to conceive for seventeen years!! There didn't appear to be any treatment of any consequence around at the time and, O.K. I admit it, I was completely doted on which, I have to say did me no harm at all. I think, if my mother was around now she would say, never give up and I think that's what I'm trying to say to all you very nice ladies. You will make great mothers one day, (though hopefully long before you match my mother's marathon efforts).

 

[CurlySue]

Jesus Christ, 10 years. 17 years. Beggars belief, doesn't it? Especially with those that get pregnant 5 times in 5 years.

Not really fair, is it?

I suppose the gist of everything is, I feel that we are not being fairly treated by life. I feel we are not being given fair odds. We are not being given a crack of the whip when other people are getting chance after chance after chance.

What makes our eggs less good than someone else's? What makes OUR potential conception less important and of less worth than the next woman's?

How is it that one person could probably get pregnant 7 times in 12 months (am just talking egg meets sperm, here, nothing more) when others, like us, SIMPLY CAN'T?

I just don't get it. I don't get it at all. Its winding me up with increasing frequency because you know what the sad thing is? I have practically given up! It's all fair and well these Ultra Fertile people saying to us "It will happen," "be positive" - but, that is because they have never had to feel negative in their lives. They have never known this because for some reason, God (if there is a God) values their body to house a child more than it values ours.

I just want to see a line. I do. I just want to see a HINT of a line, a THREAT of a line. I want to feel what it feels like to be pregnant. I want to experience the OMG FUCKING BFP joy that I see every single day.

Because, girls, all of us in here...all of us have the right to say "FINALLY" and "about time" - all of us have the right to call it a miracle when it does happen because it feels to us, in our most negative mindset, that it would take a miracle to get us pregnant.

There are people who are 19, ultra fertile and 'giving up' because they have not got pregnant in the first 3 months. I cannot relate to them. I have to bite my lip to save from saying "you know what? You need to grow up before you start TTC. Three months is a little piece of dust blowing on the wind of time. .What about the ladies who are 44 and for whom time is running out? What about them?"

What about us, eh? Why are we getting left behind?

 

[Schmelly]

I don't know if I qualify for LTTC as we've only been trying 12 months and we have only just begun doc appts, tests, etc. So I'm quite a newbie looking at some of you other girls, and I am humbled by reading your posts. My pain is bad enough and I can only imagine what it must feel like to be waiting for years to see that ever elusive BFP.

I hope I don't rock the boat now, but I just wanted to pick up on some of the comments that have been made in this thread about MC. I don't see MC as a 'step up' from never having had a BFP at all. OK, it does mean that conception has occurred, and after my MC I did get some reassurance from this, you are right. However, that feeling passes (for some of us, anyhow) and you start thinking that even if you did get preg, you wouldn't be able to carry to term anyway. When I got my BFP I was happy for only 24 hours before I had the feeling something was wrong. I am now desperate to conceive again, but I know that if I did get a BFP I couldn't even be happy about it. I would just be waiting for it to go wrong. And having experienced the pain of losing a bean, I almost wish I'd never conceived in the first place. I now have to face my due date in October knowing that I have no baby in my arms, and an empty belly.

I think it's a case of the grass always being greener. I think there are difficulties no matter what situation you're in. Please don't think I'm having a moan, because I'm really not. Like I said, I really can't imagine the pain of ttc for the length of time that some of you girls have...my 12 months is bad enough. I just don't feel that I am at any kind of 'advantage' from having mc'd, and the pain of my MC was far worse than the pain of seeing a BFN.

I hope I haven't offended anyone. That wasn't my intention. I'm just trying to put another side. Please don't be offended.

 

[krissi]

No i agree MC's are awful and i would hate to go through what you that girls that have suffered them have been through. I had an eptopic when I was 18, i didn't even know i was pregnant until it I was in hospital in serious pain.

I think the girls point (are at least what i am saying) is I would do ANYTHING to be pregnant and to know the excitement of seeing that BFP and knowing my body isn't totally broken. I think the LTTC'ers just feel they would like to be given a chanve to carry a baby but most can't even get that far and are understandbly devestated about it.

 

[Lulu]

Noone can see how much it hurts and it feels like noone understands. Occasionally i just look at my friends and wonder how the hell they can not realise how unhappy i am sometimes!

It's the fact that it's all 'out of my control' that i hate the most. 13 months of desperately wanting my life to completely change (which it will with a child), and 13 months of waiting and wishing for that change and nothing. I can't control that at all. All i can do is keep wishing and hoping while i watch what seems to be everyone else around me getting everything they want from life.

I totally agree with you, I'm not sure if I count as a LTTCer, been trying 13 months this month and have just asked doc to start tests. But we haven't told anyone we are ttc, one of my friends has guessed but in her words when she fell pg, 'it happened really quickly'!!! So she doesn't understand how devestating it can be every month when the appears!

I'd just love to know if I can get pregnant, the not knowing is just mental torture every month. I never thought I was a control freak but having no control over this has turned me into one

 

[Omi]

I just wanted to say thanks for putting into words what i think on a daily basis

May i also add that i work in social services, addictions and you wouldnt believe the things i see and read on a daily basis!!!!! Now, i do believe in God but im hard pressed sometimes to understand how karma and all that stuff works when i hear something like this woman, who has 2 kids taken off her and up for adoption, gets pg again (!!) has tracks all over her arms, is a prostitute, gives birth and then shoots up on maternity, drops baby on the floor and baby cracks head open- And she has the luck, the blessing of conceiving- and have a healthy breathing baby!!!!!! WHY OH WHY???

Im starting to lose faith that taking vits, medication, eating healthy etc etc means anything at all....apparently eating chips everyday or nothing at all and shoting up crack does the trick??!!

Anyway, thanks again..you've all made my day and may i add you're all amazing ladies!!

,Omi xxx

 

[krissi]

I have already considered becoming a drug addict I am sure that is the answer to my problems, it has to be better than relax and it will happen technique!!!

 

[Omi]

I have already considered becoming a drug addict I am sure that is the answer to my problems, it has to be better than relax and it will happen technique!!!

Yeah, it has crossed my mind as well ...i swear, its almost an ongoing joke in the office- those people are sooo fertile???!!! WTF?

While over in my corner of the world, i have 2 friends on fertility treatment, one even mc while on ivf, and everyone i know has close friends or family on fertility teatment!! Whats going on? I would really like to know....

Oh,well..i shall go back to pep talk my raisin eggs again, lol!!

 

[krissi]

Me and my eggs are no longer on speaking terms they will not do as there told.

 

[shimmyshimmy]

It is so totally unfair hun.
I am sure that all the women on here who are very fertile wish that they could help in some way. The lady at work sounds like a right pain in the backside. But I am sure the majority of women with children appreciate their children and love them more than anything else in the world, I know I do, and I wanted to let you know that we are not all as insensitive and as pathetic as the lady at your work who clearly takes her children for granted.
I agree with Miel, when you do conceive you will appreciate every single second of your pregnancy, and your future children will be very blessed to have you as a Mum,


Shimmy.
xxx

 

[Omi]

Me and my eggs are no longer on speaking terms they will not do as there told.

well..its either that or scoring some crack

having said that, not sure they're listening either..oh, no...do you think they might be deaf? Great- there's another thing to worry about!

 

[krissi]

Hearing aids for eggs, quick lets get to Dragons Den, i bet there a fair few on the forum that would buy! Maybe some for sperm to because men never listen to directions, perhaps its because they can't hear them either!

 

[Omi]

Hearing aids for eggs, quick lets get to Dragons Den, i bet there a fair few on the forum that would buy! Maybe some for sperm to because men never listen to directions, perhaps its because they can't hear them either!

hmmm...maybe thats where we've been going wrong the entire time! Lol! May be a whole new direction in fertility treatment! Signposts in the womb 'this way for egg!'..and pitstops for tired or confused sperm on route?

Seriously,though...i think infertility is a flipping epidemic and yet you get people who think its no big deal. Maybe a petition of some sorts would do? I dont know..but i do think its a much bigger issue than people and the government are aware of. Estimated numbers suggest its going to get worse i.e. more and more people will need assistance in ttc and yet the waiting times and the funding is ridiculous!!

Sorry,thats me on a soapbox..perhaps me being on strike today has rubbed off,lol!!

 

[hopeful4baby]

I don't know if I qualify for LTTC as we've only been trying 12 months and we have only just begun doc appts, tests, etc. So I'm quite a newbie looking at some of you other girls, and I am humbled by reading your posts. My pain is bad enough and I can only imagine what it must feel like to be waiting for years to see that ever elusive BFP.

I hope I don't rock the boat now, but I just wanted to pick up on some of the comments that have been made in this thread about MC. I don't see MC as a 'step up' from never having had a BFP at all. OK, it does mean that conception has occurred, and after my MC I did get some reassurance from this, you are right. However, that feeling passes (for some of us, anyhow) and you start thinking that even if you did get preg, you wouldn't be able to carry to term anyway. When I got my BFP I was happy for only 24 hours before I had the feeling something was wrong. I am now desperate to conceive again, but I know that if I did get a BFP I couldn't even be happy about it. I would just be waiting for it to go wrong. And having experienced the pain of losing a bean, I almost wish I'd never conceived in the first place. I now have to face my due date in October knowing that I have no baby in my arms, and an empty belly.

I think it's a case of the grass always being greener. I think there are difficulties no matter what situation you're in. Please don't think I'm having a moan, because I'm really not. Like I said, I really can't imagine the pain of ttc for the length of time that some of you girls have...my 12 months is bad enough. I just don't feel that I am at any kind of 'advantage' from having mc'd, and the pain of my MC was far worse than the pain of seeing a BFN.

I hope I haven't offended anyone. That wasn't my intention. I'm just trying to put another side. Please don't be offended.

I guess I'm one of LT-TTCers too. 16 months from my 2 m/c. I just want to say the fact I got pregnant twice, so shortlived by the way, doesn't work like any reassurence that it will happen again, let alone it will work. In October from my 2nd pregnancy I would have had a one year old. It breaks my heart!!! It breaks my heart that everyone of you has to suffer this insecurity and wondering, this pain! I don't think a week passes by when I don't cry. II feel like a such failure. My friends are already having their second babies since we've started. It is sooooo unfair. I know they pitty me and I hate it! "It will happen for you" I do get it all the time. What do they know about anything?? I'm so glad you've started this thread, I've been feeling so bad this couple of weeks and there's no-one to talk to.

 

[maccy]

Ok now I am not LTTTC at all but I have read through all of this thread and I just wanna say although I couldn't possibly understand what you all are going through what you say makes perfect sense.

I have one little girl and I had m/c back in May and it was an horrendous experience not one I hope ever to repeat again. It's been four cycles since then and the frustration I feel when I haven't caught is immense so I take my hat off to you all that have been trying for many months and years, it must be heartbreaking and you have certainly made me think about how I may sound or others may sound when we get stressed after only a couple of months of trying.

I also admire you, Krissi...10 years...wow! yet your still supportive to people that have been trying for a few months, which is fab!

I sincerley hope that everyone of you gets that BFP result sooner rather than later.