Why cant i make it work with food?!?!

[Feebster1]

I am actually so stressed out my shoulders are sore, please please someone stop me from chasing myself round in circles over lo and food!!

Apart from the last couple of days when she has had a cold and eaten barely anything even milk, my lo is a terrible eater!

I have tried so many different ways of getting fruit and veg into her with very minimal success. Finger foods or spoon she most often refuses the new thing or the healthy part and i find myself giving her something else which i know she will eat. I kinda feel like she is doing it deliberately because then i will cave and give her what she already likes?! Is that even possible at this age??

She will happily eat toast, cheese and yogurt all day long, or a stage on elles pouch with mango, blueberry or maybe the sweet potato one.
Will eat macaroni but a bit blitzed up but after the first week has given up eating pasta in chunks too!!!
Have tried feeding her from my plate but she still wont eat anything from there, will just mush it up quickly and drop it over the side of the highchair.

Just to add to it all i am trying to get her to like cows milk with little sips from her cup but thats a battle too and after nearly 2 weeks of trying still is very resistant, how on earth am i going to get her off formula???

I realise this is a stress for us all but i get in a right mess when she is really resistant to it as i had issues with food too. I was anorexic from the age of 9 till 14 and took me till i was in my mid twenties to be comfortable enough with food not to have daily issues eating.
So so worried that if i dont get this right she will have those issues too but i dont know what else to try.
I need to get a grip of myself as this wont help her either but hoping now if written it down maybe i will feel calmer??!!!!

Nope still

 

[Katy Bug]

Try to focus on the types of food she likes, like pasta, then disguise veggies in it

 

[fieryphoenix]

How old is she?

Eta: would she eat banana or zucchini bread? You could sneak some veggies in bread form?

 

[Tor]

I would just give her meals that you know she likes and eats then give her new foods as snacks and leave her to it without any pressure and see if she will start trying new things.

As for the formula thing I would honestly just abandon it and concentrate on the food issue, its not the end of the world if she is not of formula by 1 IMO and there is always 1+ formula, I would just pick my battles and this i would let slide.

Its so difficult though because as much as I would like her eating only a few things i also wouldn't want to make it into a huge issue as i think that would make it worse.

ETA- I do think it is something that most kids go through as well where they have phases of being picky eaters and then they are ok and grow out of it so hopefully this will be the case for you.

 

[Feebster1]

Try to focus on the types of food she likes, like pasta, then disguise veggies in it

Have done that but unless its one of her fav dinners (of which there are only 4) she has none of it!! And even when i manage it one week she refuses the next?!!

How old is she?

Eta: would she eat banana or zucchini bread? You could sneak some veggies in bread form?

She is 11 months, hates banana cant even get a banana and strawberry porridge near her!! I make our bread with a machine, could try putting something in it see what happens.


I just see all the wonderful things all the other babies eat on here, even my own grandaughter who is 7 weeks younger than Grace eats anything put in front of her, i want for her soo much.
Even if she would just eat our dinners with us i would be happier but even whizzed up if its not one of the fab 4 then she just flat out refuses!

 

[fieryphoenix]

How frustrating!

 

[Pielette]

To be honest as much as it drives you crazy you're going to have to accept the way it is for now.

My eldest has turned into a fussy eater. He used to eat all sorts and now there's only a handful of things he will eat. Pasta is a huge favourite so I tend to make different sauces with meat or fish and veg and let him eat what he wants.

In your case I'd probably offer the usual things she likes and put different things with it. Keep offering but no pressure. Eat veg and good things in front of her and you never know, one day she might be interested.

I know it's really frustrating but if we get stressed about it it will become a big deal.

 

[Indigo77]

I made frozen pops out of the puréed fruit & veg he would no longer touch... He thinks he's getting a Popsicle...

Give her what she likes & a bit of what she may not like, but never force it. Just keep offering it. If she won't eat it, don't sweat it....there's another meal coming her way in a few hours...

Try to make it stress-free & fun

Don't get upset or stressed....she'll pick up on that...

Yesterday mine ate everything under the sun. Today he just wants grapes. He still gets some formula because he hates milk. I'm not going to sweat it...

 

[BabyGirl999]

In the kindest way possible - you need to chill out!! Loads of babies are like this but it usually doesn't last. Just keep offering her new stuff but don't stress if she doesn't eat it. Have you tried pre loading a spoon? It's the only way my Lo will eat. Or pre loading a baby fork? If I do that and pass it to her she eats it, but not if I feed her it myself. I also just chuck loads of bits on her high chair table for her to pick up and eat as she pleases while I'm tending to my other child, bits of dinner, fruit, bread etc.

Also she seems to prefer brightly coloured things, peas, carrots, raspberries etc.

Sorry if this is all a bit jumbled, just typing as I think!

Please please don't stress. You really have to change your mindset and not let it wind you up. I do understand how frustrating it us.

My Lo is 14 months and she ate practically nothing til a month ago and all of a sudden just started.

Re the formula, she does not have to be weaned off it by 1, so leave it for now.

 

[Feebster1]

Thanks ladies.

I do laugh with her at meal times, show her me eating it, and make a huge fuss if she eats some thing new.

I also know im being a neurotic mess about it all and know i have to also change how i think and not be so terrified. Just frightens the living daylights out me to think she could end up like i was when a child, would hate that for her!

Think i may phone my hv tomorrow and see if she will pop out to give me slap around the chops, get on well with her so its someone else to talk to.

Thanks again, believe me i know im an idiot but if i keep my idiocy to myself i will actual go full on wacko!!

 

[Feebster1]

Minor victory!

At lunch just now she has eaten about four bites of a buttered pancake! The rest she has bitten off and spat out but she ate some!!!

I know its not the healthiest of snacks but its something she has previously completely refused to eat so im taking the little bit of win and smiling!

 

[biglebowski]

Minor victory!

At lunch just now she has eaten about four bites of a buttered pancake! The rest she has bitten off and spat out but she ate some!!!

I know its not the healthiest of snacks but its something she has previously completely refused to eat so im taking the little bit of win and smiling!

Thats great!! Try to relax, as lo will get there. Im sure she (and you) are doung great!!

 

[Murphy98]

Will she eat veggies with cheese sauce?

If pasta chunks are an issue will she accept pasta stars as an option?

My eldest would accept meats and things if offered with something creamy - plain full fat greek yogurt, mash potatoes...that kind of thing

I agree that you can't make it a power struggle - because its a battle you cannot win. You need to instead solicit her cooperation and work off what she does like.

Nothing wrong with pancake! You can try spreading other things on it too - nut butters, jam, veggie purees can also be spread on toast and pancake type vehicles.

 

[Feebster1]

Might try the pasta stars actually, forgot you get them!

I do try and hide veg in the things i know she will eat but its really a hit or a miss and if i get too ambitious she just turns her nose up!

Will just keep plugging away and offering things, have a few new recipes to try out so will see if she likes any of them!

Meanwhile im getting a fat dog!

 

[Rachel_C]

Do you think she might be picking up on your anxiety/stress? Kids are very perceptive!

I would just relax and forget about it for now. Make your own meal and put some of it on her plate or high chair tray and sit her with you, or both of you sit at a little child size table and chairs (feels ridiculous but both of my kids have loved it when we sit on their Ikea chairs with them!) and just ignore whatever she's doing with food unless it's making a horrendous mess, in which case you'd just pick it up and take it away. Sitting with OH or grandparents and having a normal chat over a meal is a good idea too. Let her get down when she's lost interest but keep the food out in case she's interested again later.

I would urge you to stop making a fuss/giving praise when she does something you like. Associating being 'good' with eating food isn't something I'd encourage particularly if you're worried about eating disorders. You want her to eat food she likes/needs because she's hungry, she enjoys it and it's what her body needs, not because she'll be rewarded for it - that's setting her up for food issues IMO.

I'd also forget 'table manners' or any ideas about how/when food should be eaten. Leave snacky food out at a small table for her to have a look at throughout the day. Put out little bowls of various foods - bread sticks, dips, veg sticks, a few fingers of a peanut butter sandwich, some rice cakes, a yoghurt, some apple etc and every now and then go and eat a few bits yourself but don't even tell her they're for her. Let her see you eat it and enjoy it but don't do anything you wouldn't do in front of another adult, an "Ooh this apple is really yum" is fine but "Oooohhhhhh yummy yummy yummy this apple is the best thing ever, have you tried it, it's amazing, nom nom nom" is a bit OTT .

I would forget about the formula thing for now. You can carry on giving formula for ages yet. For BF, the recommended age is 2+ so I don't personally see an issue with giving formula until then. Give it in a cup if you're worried about bottles and if the cost is prohibitive, switch brands or stages. There is no actual need to transition to cow's milk - cow's milk isn't a natural part of a human diet anyway so you can skip it perfectly well. My youngest won't drink cow's milk at all, not even chocolate flavoured, although she'll eat it on cereal.