maryanne1987
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- Aug 11, 2012
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I'm shocked at myself. We have just found out we are having a beautiful boy and I cried. The minute the sonographer said boy I felt numb, and then I got into our car and I sobbed. Real tears. And I don't even know why. I guess ive always thought this baby was a girl, I imagined her and her sister growing up close and even had a name picked out. And now I'm so happy we are having a healthy boy but I feel like I miss the little girl who was never actually there. Im so annoyed and disaapointed in myself for feeling like this. My DS and DH are so happy and I feel like I've spoilt this for them. I'm putting on a brace face and pretending im happy but I feel totally cut up by my feelings. I literally feel like a terrible mother for acting like this.