Why do you consider yourself a natural parent?

[jen1604]

I would never say I was a natural parent in any situation in real life, it just sounds silly. 'Hello, I'm Jen, I'm a natural parent, what kind of parent are you?'

I mostly just hang around in here because I know who everyone is and I like the nappy chat We do cloth nappies (obviously), did BLW, I co-slept with Fi and they were both 'worn' and we kind of follow attachment parenting but I wouldn't say any of it was ever a conscious decision, just did what came naturally. Maybe thats what being a natural parent is about though. Although I guess if it comes naturally to you to lock your child in a playpen for 6 hours with a Fruit Shoot we wouldn't welcome that person into this section. I don't know, I've confused myself.

{disclaimer- if anyone from baby club wanders in and reads this, no I'm not saying you don't love your child because you use a playpen and offer Fruit Shoots, we have indulged occasionally in those little juicy bottles , just 6 hours is a bit excessive}

 

[feeble]

I didn't realise it was a competition lol

I think ec is very natural also, but that doesn't make cloth nappies unnatural, you could say BLW isn't natural unless it's food the family have harvested/found themselves, or that eating meat is unnatural... But Blw is quite natural compared to mainstream tw methods so I reckon it passes

I suppose that's the thing, cloth nappies obviously aren't natural to you, gentle discipline is not natural to me (not that I don't practise it, just I don't find it natural) but its whatever you make of it... A none defined set of ideas that depend on the person...

It's not a competition of course, but that's my issue with it. When you start having a list of criteria that are considered for some arbitrary reason 'natural' I feel like it becomes constrictive. I used cloth with Alice, and will next time. I don't feel that it's a particularly natural thing to do, but then neither is living in a house with a flushing loo or buying food from the supermarket. My post was a bit flippant really. I don't mind the 'natural' label, I do most of the things that fit into this section, but I don't consider myself a natural parent. It just seems vague to me and potentially alienating.

I find it much, much less alienating than other parenting labels...

I would never ever ever ever label myself an 'attachment parent' because to me it suggests that all other types of parents are 'detached parents'

same with 'uncondtional parenting' i dont have to have read your book to unconditionally love my child thank you very much!

I actually think that 'natural parenting' is one of the nicest, least negative towards the rest of the world than any of the others. I also think it sort of bands those together who think in a certain way... i certainly dont use it in everyday life (or ever really ) but we all knew what it meant on the forum when looking for our 'bit' and in that way it bonds us

 

[lepaskilf]

I didn't realise it was a competition lol

I think ec is very natural also, but that doesn't make cloth nappies unnatural, you could say BLW isn't natural unless it's food the family have harvested/found themselves, or that eating meat is unnatural... But Blw is quite natural compared to mainstream tw methods so I reckon it passes

I suppose that's the thing, cloth nappies obviously aren't natural to you, gentle discipline is not natural to me (not that I don't practise it, just I don't find it natural) but its whatever you make of it... A none defined set of ideas that depend on the person...

It's not a competition of course, but that's my issue with it. When you start having a list of criteria that are considered for some arbitrary reason 'natural' I feel like it becomes constrictive. I used cloth with Alice, and will next time. I don't feel that it's a particularly natural thing to do, but then neither is living in a house with a flushing loo or buying food from the supermarket. My post was a bit flippant really. I don't mind the 'natural' label, I do most of the things that fit into this section, but I don't consider myself a natural parent. It just seems vague to me and potentially alienating.

I find it much, much less alienating than other parenting labels...

I would never ever ever ever label myself an 'attachment parent' because to me it suggests that all other types of parents are 'detached parents'

same with 'uncondtional parenting' i dont have to have read your book to unconditionally love my child thank you very much!

I actually think that 'natural parenting' is one of the nicest, least negative towards the rest of the world than any of the others. I also think it sort of bands those together who think in a certain way... i certainly dont use it in everyday life (or ever really ) but we all knew what it meant on the forum when looking for our 'bit' and in that way it bonds us

That makes sense about the attachment parenting label!! I've never heard of Unconditional Parenting!! Does that mean that those who don't "abide" only love their child on a conditional bases?!!

 

[feeble]

basically yes!

there is a bit more to it but i have to say, i have found it very hard to get to any sort of understanding with it after being throughly put off by the pompous title!

 

[lepaskilf]

basically yes!

there is a bit more to it but i have to say, i have found it very hard to get to any sort of understanding with it after being throughly put off by the pompous title!

*googles* "Unconditional Parenting"

 

[Tacey]

But doesn't that make other parents 'unnatural'? I just don't like labels per se. The UP / AP labels are exactly what I mean about how people can feel alienated if they don't fit neatly into that particular theory (and frankly, who does?). Having an all encompassing term can make people feel that they aren't good enough. I love the theory of UP, and AP and try to implement both as much as I can, but I don't think of myself as an unconditional or attachment parent. I'm just a parent.

I'm playing Devil's advocate here. It really doesn't bother me that much. I know we have to have labels to find the information we need. It's a short hand so you don't have to explain everything in detail. I just don't choose to label myself that way.

Ooh, and lepaskilf, this is a good starting point to find out about UP.

 

[feeble]

i dont think any of us do label ourselves really... its just that its clear from the forum labelled 'natural' what its going to entail x

i feel differently about the term 'natural' - 'unnatural' because yes disposible, chemical filled nappies ARE unnatural, doesnt give the sub text that they are 'bad' though...

we all do things that are unnatural in life, as was said by a PP, using flushing loos or washing machines... so i dont think the term 'unnatural' is intrinsically 'bad' whereas i dont honestly believe ANYONE would be happy labelled as a 'conditional' or 'detached' parent...

 

[Tacey]

i dont think any of us do label ourselves really... its just that its clear from the forum labelled 'natural' what its going to entail x

i feel differently about the term 'natural' - 'unnatural' because yes disposible, chemical filled nappies ARE unnatural, doesnt give the sub text that they are 'bad' though...

we all do things that are unnatural in life, as was said by a PP, using flushing loos or washing machines... so i dont think the term 'unnatural' is intrinsically 'bad' whereas i dont honestly believe ANYONE would be happy labelled as a 'conditional' or 'detached' parent...

I think we're probably arguing the same point here! That's what I meant when I was saying about our lives being 'unnatural' (that PP was me by the way!)

I actually don't think people would like being termed unnatural, but who knows?

 

[feeble]

hmmm i see what you mean... but actually i think (maybe wrongly x) that parents who just dont worry about things like cloth nappies, no parabins etc etc etc that they just consider themselves a 'parent' and so do I/we

so i dont even think its about being 'unnatural' its different to that but really hard to explain!

hehehe interesting discussion though xx

 

[Blah11]

I dont really feel like a natural parent either.

I BF for 'extended' amount of time
babywear
BLW
cloth nappies
home birth which was pain relief free
cosleep part time

thats it i think I do things that feel natural to me i suppose but I don't feel like Im earth mother hippy type at all LOL

 

[lepaskilf]

But doesn't that make other parents 'unnatural'? I just don't like labels per se. The UP / AP labels are exactly what I mean about how people can feel alienated if they don't fit neatly into that particular theory (and frankly, who does?). Having an all encompassing term can make people feel that they aren't good enough. I love the theory of UP, and AP and try to implement both as much as I can, but I don't think of myself as an unconditional or attachment parent. I'm just a parent.

I'm playing Devil's advocate here. It really doesn't bother me that much. I know we have to have labels to find the information we need. It's a short hand so you don't have to explain everything in detail. I just don't choose to label myself that way.

Ooh, and lepaskilf, this is a good starting point to find out about UP.

Thanks for the link! I've had a look more in the UP and I do do a few things that they consider UP, I definately won't be able to not praise my child like in the link! That just comes naturally!

I also do things from the AP category and from the "non" category , I don't know what to call it, the one where I suppose what people class as the "normal" things like putting juice in to his cup and giving him shop bough snadwiches!

Alot of what I do, no matter what 'category' it's in is instinctive!!

So I have no

 

[LittleBoo]

Because I rely mainly on instinct. I've always kept Cas close to me, we have a routine but if he's not happy with it I change it to suit him. I've used the pram all of 5 times and we go out near enough every day. Apart from going to the groups focused on baby wearing, I've never seen anyone else baby wearing. I don't breastfeed, but I do feel it's the one of the most natural, beautiful things in the world. We're half cloth at the moment as I've only got 5 in total, but once I've built up my collection we'll be switching to full time cloth. I don't have a dishwasher and try to hand wash as much as possible (not parenting related but still, every little helps) and I just think of myself as more in touch with nature than many of those around me. I'm babyled, as much as possible.

 

[kit10grl]

I agree with others also that this section tends to be a bit more accomodating of other peoples views when they are different to their own. Unlike babyclub. This thread in babyclub would already have descended into 'you said i dotn love my baby as much as cos i dont ERF/Cloth diaper/AP' etc etc

It seems everytime i post there these days i end up having to repost explaining as someone takes offence and turns it into a debate that has nothing to do with the original post. Where here people are much more likely to be 'really thats different to how i do things how does that work?' instead of 'its different its wrong'

I do think the list of rules for AP/UP can be a bit restrictive as although i would say im more AP than any other theory, i certainly dont follow all the rules. And am doing what i was doing anyway before i read the rules. I didnt change how i parent to be AP but how i parent kinda fits in with AP

 

[sophxx]

I know quite a few hippy earth mums and I guess I fit in with them we don't cloth nappy as they leak but we use organic nappies and wipes I only use organic skin care shampoo make up foundation everything that touches my skin I only use natural rock slat deodorant. I grow veg we eat in summer the veg we don't have in winter as it's to cold to grow I buy organic I don't eat meat but I have organic meat for others everything is organic even tea bags coffee ect. I use natural cleaners natural washing powder we co sleep as that makes lo happy i make organic yogurt ect. I think everyone has there own idea of what type of parent they are but IMO there's far more to being a natural parent than cloth nappying and baby wareing x

 

[Maman]

Im not a 'natural parent' but parenting does come naturally to me

to be honest, ive had 2 sections, used sposies on my first son (i only know one other cloth using parent in my area!) and never considered anything other than breastfeeding, i guess you could try to pigeon hole me in to natural parenting because i do what i think is the most natural choice and act soley on instinct, but theres plenty of things i do that are unnnatural (such as using a pram sometimes, im scared im going to fall as my eyesight nto great and i have joint problems so im not stable and i live on a massive hill!)

i think labelling yourself means youre following a fashion not necesarily doing what you genuinely feel is best for you and baby

 

[nickyXjayno]

I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

 

[lepaskilf]

I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

 

[Brookey]

i dont know whether im a natural parent or not! i must say i dont really like labels, but obviously in b&b there are labels to each section.

I breastfed exclusively for 6 months and now he has formula a couple of times a day.
We co-sleep.
I carry him in a Moby sometimes but sometimes use the stroller.
I dont use cloth nappies (would love to but cant really afford it atm)
He has a treasure basket with natural toys.
No enforced routine.

So you can see from the above, im a bit of a mish mash! i guess im a natural parent in the sense that i just do what comes naturally to me!

 

[vaniilla]

I don't see it as a label I see it as more of a lifestyle, we are conscious of our carbon footprint and we try to be as eco friendly as we can, being a natural parent means different things to different people, for us its being close to nature and being respectful of nature.

 

[nickyXjayno]

I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.