Why does it seem like no one cares?

[HBelcher33]

Since i lost my baby at almost 16 weeks i feel alone. My hubby tries, but i feel like he just doesn't understand and is gone too much. I do have my 5 kids that keep me busy but.. im not working (really, only a few days a month) and im so about to lose it. Sitting at home and thinking all day long is driving me nuts. I have rec'd one sympathy card from my grandma and nothing else. I know people care im sure, but it just would've been nice to see cards or something. Those nice 'little' things go a long way.

Do i sound strange?

Im still waiting for the results from the chromosomal testing in another 2 weeks (takes 3-4 weeks) and hoping to find out the gender so i can pick out an urn for my baby's cremains etc... and name the baby.

I need closure. I feel like im going crazy. I have had 4 other losses but none this late. I wish people just understood a baby is a baby no matter how small!

Oh how i wish i would've listened to a few people that urged me to deliver. Now i will live with that regret forever.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through

I lost my Ava Sofia at 22 weeks, I gave birth to her in my home , went to the hospital and held for a long time. We buried her on 3/11/2011.
She was my surprise pregnancy at 40, I already had 3 boys 21, 19 and 12. She was our blessing, loosing her has killed me and has changed me forever .
I know it seems nobody cares, they do , but they just expect us to get over it. They don't understand we never get over this, we carry it forever..

My SIL also has 3 boys and just recently had a girl and she named her after our angel and didn't even ask us She has ripped this family apart and now we don't speak to her anymore, very sad situation. I never thought ever she would do this to me, but she did and then to not even call and explain, well I will never forgive her for it, ever..

You are not alone, this place saved me, you just need to talk to women who know exactly what you feel so you will know your feelings are the same as ours.. Everything you are experiencing is normal.
My husband was sympathetic but he didn't understand either, it has been almost 2yrs. now and he knows I will just never be the same woman I was. How can anyone know who hasn't went through it, we carry a child our child and we loose this precious life, only ourselves know the true impact of this pain. IMO it is the worst pain known to mankind..

I am very sorry for your loss and if you ever need a friend I am always around.. Andrea

 

[Hopefulagain]

I completely agree with Andrea, people do care but they cannot understand. And they can't understand that we will never, ever get over this...its awful, like getting a life sentence of pain. I recently heard another mom from our infant loss group say that as moms we feel it more because the one person that we cared about in this situation died. I guess it makes since. Our husbands are grieving for our kids, yes, but he is also grateful that we did not die with them (for many of us the physical process was tramatic). Just as our kids are our number one priority, we are our parents'. I had never considered that before.
The loss our babies is painful enough, but then for their lives to be invalidated by people who we expected more from is just too much.