Why WTT is hard if you haven't TTC before

[tasha41]

I have to agree with the girls, TTC is probably a lot harder than WTT usually, yes it is painful to want a child desperately and have to wait to even try, it would be harder, for me, to pour my heart and soul into something and try so hard for a baby and have 1.. 2... 6.. 12 months go by with nothing The uncertainty, wondering if something is wrong or what, watching people get pregnant that have been TTC for less time than you or who are not TTC at all. Sure some people will get pregnant their first month trying, but even after the first month goes by, I am sure I would feel a lot of disappointment, because you're doing what you're supposed to do to make a baby and you get a BFN..

That being said I have never TTC, I'm just WTT right now, comfortably though. I don't think this thread intended to hurt any feelings, I just think it was a lot of ladies frustrated with not being able to "do" anything about their situation and trying to vent that

 

[Linzi]

Tbh I personally think each is as difficult as each other. I've been pregnant, WWT & TTC. I was NTNP for my son wor 18 months, and even though we werent TTc as such, the disappointment when AF came, or I got BFN was unbelieveable. I found that time, and also this time while TTC that my body feels like its craving to be pregnant. I dont know if thats just me. But its the hardest thing. Ive been in tears before. Even at the beginning of TTC when I didnt know if I wanted another baby or not, my body was just driving me nuts and I got quite upset a lot of the time.

I think each is as hard as each other tbh. Im finding iot stressful now having long cycles and PCOS that I know NOTHING about because no one will answer any of my questions. But at the same time I knew when I was WTT there was SOMETHING up I just couldnt work out what...

Ive muddled myself up I guess what Im trying to say is that in one way or another we're all in the same boat, we all want a baby and theres difficult bits whilst TTC OR WTT and I dont think its fair on either side to say that one is more difficult than the other.

x

 

[Pyrrhic]

I just don't think there is any point to this thread. Fine, WTT is hard, It's not fun for anyone. You have a lot of hopes, fears, etc. Make a thread about it like we normally do. This is a place were we can moan and complain and share the journey together.

However, why compare it directly to TTC? It's only going to get people's backs up.

TTC should have been left out of it totally. You wouldn't say TTC is harder that LTTTC, or that 3rd tri is harder than 1st tri. There is no need for a direct comparison, as it will naturally get people upset.

I also think that until you've seen both sides of the fence, you aren't really qualified to judge someone else and their feelings.

 

[plutosblue]

I agree with Lozzy, I think I speak for most people in this thread by saying we were not ever saying that TTC is not difficult or less difficult than WTT, but because none of us have experienced it WTT is difficult for us because of fertility issues and general worries of what might happen etc etc so we were just basing it on our own opinions of what we have experienced during WTT. However when we move over to TTC i'm sure our views will change. But until we make that big leap we will never know.

I don't think anyone intended to cause any offense.

Have you read the thread title

Well I meant for myself then, that's just my opinion.

I do agree that right now it might seem like the worst thing in the world for most of you but I don't think it's fair to put down peoples TTC journeys either. Just think this threads going to upset people...

I wasn't trying to put down peoples TTC journeys and I understand it can be extremely hard as one of my close relatives has had a nightmare to go through just to get her first. Bless her. I was just saying that for me I wasn't trying to cause offense and was just sharing my own experience of WTT and how it can be tough. Of course when we move over to TTC we will understand first hand!

 

[Peach]

You have to have something to base your opinion on. You can't just decide WTT is harder when you have no clue.

Was this aimed at me?

I wasnt saying I think wtt was harder I was saying I agree with what the girls who have been both wtt and ttc!

I am wtt because of reasons I chose to and I am happy to stay here until the timing is right for us! I have days that are easier than others but I am here rather than ttc because I chose to be and ttc atm for me would not be a sensible iykwim!

No sorry, was at Lozzy.

Like I've said twice now, some WTT journeys will be harder than TTC, but not many IMO

Just checking!

 

[calm]

Gosh! I had no idea this thread had continued, how did I miss it ?????

I am so sorry it has offended people. It was never my intention. I can understand that TTC can be very trying, and as I have never been down that road, then obviously I don't know as well as ladies that have been, especially those who are having some trouble getting pregnant. It was just my frustration as I would so dearly love to be able to Do Something, and by trying, and not just waiting... I can see that many ladies that like me have only been WTT totally understand where I am coming from, but of course ladies that are TTC or WTT after TTC, don't. I think sometimes I think in WTT we are only women that have never TTC before and forget that other people read this section or that people maybe WTT for number 2 or 3.

All I can say, is that I will be double careful on what I write, especially outside of my journal, as I seem to end up more than once in the middle of something not nice. I must admit, I have been offended a couple of times by threads, but then again I am not as good at letting people know that I haven't liked a thread. Maybe I should! Or actually, seeing how easily I get in trouble maybe I should just let it go as before.

If you have been offended by my thread, please accept my most sincere apologizes and a big hug xxx

 

[calm]

I just don't think there is any point to this thread. Fine, WTT is hard, It's not fun for anyone. You have a lot of hopes, fears, etc. Make a thread about it like we normally do. This is a place were we can moan and complain and share the journey together.

However, why compare it directly to TTC? It's only going to get people's backs up.

TTC should have been left out of it totally. You wouldn't say TTC is harder that LTTTC, or that 3rd tri is harder than 1st tri. There is no need for a direct comparison, as it will naturally get people upset.

I also think that until you've seen both sides of the fence, you aren't really qualified to judge someone else and their feelings.

I agree, and I actually hate comparisons, so I don't know what came over me to make one. Anyway, I yet again apologize and hope the thread just gets lost and buried.

 

[aliss]

I think it really depends on the personal situation. As my signature obviously states, I'm past both stages and I am pregnant.

My OH and I had a very easy time "WTT" and TTC only took us one month. Was my TTC more difficult than some women who marry partners, expecting to have their children, and then their husbands turn around and say they don't want kids? I don't think so.

Yes, it is difficult (impossible) for the WTT group to understand the difficulties of TTC, but let's not ignore the difficult situations they face.

 

[lozzy21]

Yes the thread title may not be the best but if you read through the rest of the thread you would have got the jist of what it was about.

Its about what we are finding hard about waiting and what our fears are. I know how hard ttc can be, iv seen it my mam take 2 years to get a baby and have 2 mc in that time, for her first i was with her when she found out. My cuz has been ttc for 2 years and is having to go for fertility treatment.

But this is about our feelings about what we are going through, no on else

 

[Mayskip]

I agree with all, WTT is very hard work, its good to know that I am not the only one that is worried about fertility issues! Sometimes i feel i will never get preggers

 

[Lara310809]

I understand you 100%. I am 13 weeks into my first pregnancy, and only 3 months ago I was in your boat.

My mother had a lot of trouble conceiving, and doctors told me I could very well be infertile, but they didn't do any tests, so I would only find out when I'd been trying for a good 2 years without success. It was hard on me, because all through my teens I was telling myself to keep a distance from babies and mums, because I was afraid I would get broody, and I couldnt' allow that to happen. I would literally avoid everything to do with kids because I wanted to make it as easy as possible on myself.

When I met my husband, I was quick to tell him that we might never have kids. He ws very supportive, but I'd been honest from the outset. There's no point in avoiding it when you're getting into a serious relationship.

We've wanted children desperately for the past 2 or 3 years, but we've been waiting. I know what you mean about it being pointless to wait when you don't even know if it can happen to you; but we did.

We started trying on our wedding night, and I found out I was pregnant about 7 weeks later (in my second cycle). Even in the two months we were trying I would get myself worked up about getting that positive test. The first month was heartbreaking, because I thought it was a sign of things to come; that I would never conceive, but that's simply not the case. A baby will come when it wants to, not when you want it to.

I just want to show you that even when you've been told you might never conceive, it can still happen, and it can happen very easily. My mum had multiple operations to conceive, and she managed to have two healthy children. I was told my future could be the same, but here I am in my fourth month.

Good luck to you all. The time will come, so try not to worry.