why?

[Kitty23]

Rant warning!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

So f*cking annoyed today!
I went to my new Gp's and had an new patient appointment with the nurse. All went fine yadda yadda, then came the weight issue. Ok I'm big, I'm fine with it I didnt ask for diet advice so don't give me any.

The stupid also overweight nurse told me and the DH that if I got pregnant I would get gestational diabetes and both me and the baby would die. Yes she really said that. I had a blood test to make sure I don't have diabetes two weeks ago and I'm fine! How dare she say that?!

And it gets worse. I tell her we've been trying for 18 months now and I want to know what happens now.

" Oh you won't get referred for fertility tests because your so overweight. And remember your so young, if you were older you would get the tests. Leave it another year and lose weight"

I'm almost crying by this stage. I'm so angry typing this I'm shaking lol! I just feel so ah!

Ok 18 months isnt a lifetime and yes we are both young but people don't realise how utterley soul destroying ttc is, how it completely takes over your life. I don't know why I should have wait another year at least before I even get referred for tests! She might as well have told me to get a dog instead of trying for a baby, or to relax.

Oh and also I asked about the fact my periods are so irregular and maybe having pcos, I have no period for 4 months then one for 5 months etc and I have to start it myself every month with norethistorine. She said it was because I was big, " fat people's periods are all over the place " gee thanks!

Why don't good things happen to good people. Why is it so hard. Why can stupid idiots who don't even want their children have them. Why can't it be me?

Thanks for listening/reading girls xxxxx

 

[vineyard]

I'm sorry. That was definitely insenstive!

 

[Kitty23]

Thanks vineyard I just don't understand how a fellow human being let alone a nurse can be so unempathetic xxx

 

[JASMAK]

Wow...that was so rude and out of line for this nurse to say this. I wasn't overweight with either of my children ( I am a bit now) and I had gestational diabetes with both - and insulin - dependent with my last. You know what, I was fine, my kids were fine. I do understand that there are some risks when over a 30 for BMI, but, this is not for her to say. How unprofessional.

 

[Kitty23]

Thanks Jas she scared the poop out of my DH lol. And I'm pretty sure fat people have babies to.. infact I know they do lol! She made me feel like an idiot for even suggesting fertility tests when I'm overweight lol silly me! xxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

That is disgusting tabby - i think you need to refer her to the GMC as nobody should be spoken to like that at all. Absolutely awful.

And 18 months is a lifetime when you want something so bad hun.

I am gobsmacked for you - fucking awful of her. Make sure you complain as nobody should have to deal with that - you need a referral to a new GP/nurse and you need to be taken seriously - if you do have PCOS then the weight issue can be a side effect of that anyway. Man if i'm fuming for you, you must be ready to blow a gasket!!!xx

 

[rachelle1975]

and anyway chick, i'm overweight and have had my tests done - i have got to lose 3st to have IVF but still, there is no reason why they can't run tests in the meantime x

 

[Kitty23]

Thanks Rachelle , yeh exactly why can't they run tests, I understand if I needed to have IVF I would need to lose some weight but still. I will write a letter in to complain about her, and I'm making an appointment with the GP for next week so hopefully he'll be better though I'm not holding out much hope.

And also with my thyroid issue it makes it so so so hard to lose weight ah well. I'm going to be asked to be tested for PCOS, I've been using OPK's and I've never had a positive.

Thanks for you support girls means alot xxxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Bless you chick - get tested for PCOS and maybe there is something they can do for you hun in the meantime? With any luck they can give you some meds, get those ovaries popping and you will be getting that before you know it.

I also told DH i would finally get to be a size 10 and get preggers... well i won't be a size 10 after losing 3st but i will be a nice size 14 which will be heaven!! I watched the test tube babies prog on H&H Discovery and the girls were bigger than me...... so it just goes to show that each PCT is different. buggers!!! x

 

[Kitty23]

Lol I watched that show to! I record them every morning lol. Yeh some of these women were big!

Good luck and well done on losing weight I started cutting down on portion sizes and exercising 3 times a week this month, I love food far too much to go on a strict diet so hopefully this will shift some weight.

Thing is all my sisters(4) and my mum are quite big, not huge and had no problems getting pregant, a few got pregnant on the pill. So I don't think its just the weight that stops us getting preg! xxxx

 

[roobie74]

Hi Tabby. Hope you don't mind me joining in! OMG That nurse is a bitch!!! I can't believe what she said to you. I would have wanted to knock her teeth out haha!! I had a BMI of around 32 when we first were referred to the hospital. We had all of our tests done and I only had to lose weight to get on the IVF list. I lost 4 stone over 6 months and my BMI is now 28 so...I am on the list and have my first appt on Wednesday. Liverpool PCT are really good and they did mention my weight at my seconf appt but in a very sensitive and understanding way. I would definitely report that horrible nurse - what she said to you was awful.
I totally agree 18 moths is a looooong time. We have been TTC almost 4 years. I went through a really really low period last year and ended up on anti depressants. I felt like my life revolved around getting pregnant and was putting massive pressure on myself and my hubby which started to affect our marriage. I am in a much much better frame of mind now and accept that I may not have a baby but am remaining positive that the IVF will work. I think it helps to try and be positive but I also know it is easier said than done.
I would phone your doctor or go back and see the GP and ask them about starting the tests.
I see you have started to cut down on your food - that's what I did, just reduce portion size, I didn't go on a diet and no food was forbidden. What helped alot was walking my dog 4 miles a day - sometimes I sooo didn't want to go out but my dogs sad face made me feel guilty so off I went haha! Keep up the good work xxxxx

BTW I don't think that it is just the weight that stops us getting pregnant either I know loads of overweight women who have had babies, one lady was 25 stone plus. It is a requirement of IVF though so it's good you have started now incase you do need to have the treatment so it won't delay things like it did for me. Good Luck with your TTC journey xx

 

[Kitty23]

thanks for replying Roobie and well done on losing 4 stone! That really gives me hope, it wouldnt be so bad if I had to lose just a stone but losing so much weight seems impossible! Thanks for the encouragment though!

Yeh ttc really does take over your life and I'm really trying to find other things to take my mind off it all, I've just started my new full time job so hopefully that should keep me busy! and good luck for you to! Let me know how it all goes keeping my fingers crossed for you! xxxxx

 

[Sinead]

Make sure you complain about that nurse, coz she is bang out of order. At the same time insist that they give you the tests, there's no reason why they can't as the others have said.

 

[tracybirduk]

Tabby

Gosh that woman seems to have left her bedside manner at home! Well done for not smacking her one!
Well first of all, you can have tests for everything and be overweight! They cannot discriminate on the grounds of size, so please see an actual doctor and ask for the tests!
Secondly, hypothyrodism makes weight loss VERY difficult! PCOS and hypothyrodism are intrinsically linked and you have a much higher chance of either if you have one of them, if you know what i mean. PCOS is treatable with drugs which help with weight loss.
I am a 'big' girl and my FS recommended I loose weight to aid my fertility, but she was not rude about it and she expalinned in great depth about why it would be easier for me if i was thinner! She was sensitive and kind, not a complete cow like your nurse sounds!
Please dont loose heart, see the doctor and start the conversation with, i know its not easy as im overweight, but i find it very hard to loose weight etc.
Hope this helps
tracy xx

 

[Kitty23]

thanks Tracey I really do wonder why nurses and doctors become nurses and doctors when they obviously have no sympathy lol!

I'm going to make an appointment for next week with the new GP and demand some tests lol, or I'll just find another GP. It just really annoyed me how she was so blase about how we had been trying, but obviously because I'm young that meant nothing. She basically said that if I was 35 they would do the tests!

I'm suprised my old GP never thought of testing me for Pcos, so I'll ask for that aswell. Yes I do find it so so so hard to lose weight, I know all fat people say that but it is very hard for me! Thank you for your post though! Gives me hope! and I hope you get your bfp soon! xxxxx

 

[CareBear]

Good luck with the GP! That nurse was so rude, I can understand recommending you to lose weight but not be so rude about it! And they can run the hormone tests to see if everything is normal or not, hope you get a better response from a GP

 

[HoneyWright]

Oh Tabby I am so so so so sorry you had to go through that, as an overwight woman with PCOS i completely feel you pain.

I went for my first FS appointment in Dec (after 18 months of trying I was referred!) and it was 10 min long and he basically told me he wouldnt do anything as I was fat, he drew a nice little diagram of my ovaries and the wrote the word FAT in a box and kept tapping it everytime he spoke about my FAT and why it meant i couldnt get pregnant! His word of wisdom on how to loose the FAT, eat less exercise more!!!!!

Luckily for me I have a very understanding Dr who has put me on Metformin which after just a few weeks had regulated my cycles. Dont give up hun, you have to stand your grown, which is hard if you are overweight as you dont feel you can say anything back.

Message me if you need any help or want to rant.

 

[Farie]

sorry she was so awful .... I'd go back and book an appt with a Dr or something

 

[coley144]

There are some awful doctors and nurses who have the empathy skills of a brick. There are good ones too though. I too have been told to lose weight before getting any treatment but I did get all my tests done.

If you want to lose weight fast I've been on Cambridge since September and I've lost nearly 4 stone. It does involve pretty much giving up food though so if you have time try something less hard!

x

 

[Kitty23]

Oh Tabby I am so so so so sorry you had to go through that, as an overwight woman with PCOS i completely feel you pain.

I went for my first FS appointment in Dec (after 18 months of trying I was referred!) and it was 10 min long and he basically told me he wouldnt do anything as I was fat, he drew a nice little diagram of my ovaries and the wrote the word FAT in a box and kept tapping it everytime he spoke about my FAT and why it meant i couldnt get pregnant! His word of wisdom on how to loose the FAT, eat less exercise more!!!!!

Luckily for me I have a very understanding Dr who has put me on Metformin which after just a few weeks had regulated my cycles. Dont give up hun, you have to stand your grown, which is hard if you are overweight as you dont feel you can say anything back.

Message me if you need any help or want to rant.

Jesus! Thats horrendous! I couldn't possibly write on here what I'd do to that little weasle lol! I'm really starting to think I may have PCOS, my cycles are very very irregular, I've had to try and regulate them myself with northestorine at no help from the old gp! I'll def ask to be tested for it! Thanks very much Honey I shall definatly be asking you some questions lol xxxx